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My infotaining emails totally flopped for my first big DR client

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My first big direct response copywriting customer was Dr. Audri Lanford, back in 2017.

​​Dr. Audri and her husband Jim were direct response veterans — they ran a big Internet Marketing event with the legendary Jay Abraham back in the year 2000.

Audri and Jim died in 2019 in a freak gas leak explosion. I found out about that through Brian Kurtz’s newsletter because Brian was apparently good friends with Dr. Audri and her husband.

Back in 2017, Dr. Audri had an innovative offer called Australian Digestive Excellence.

​​ADE was a drink of some sort that fixed every chronic digestive problem you could ever have. According to the hundreds of testimonials Dr. Audri had accumulated over just a year or two, it seemed the stuff was really magic.

Now it was time to scale.

Dr. Audri had her source of cold traffic, I believe banner ads on a radio talk show website.

​​These banner ads drove leads to a quiz. And after the quiz, that’s where some patented Bejako emails kicked in.

Well, really, my patented emails were a 12-email sequence in the infotaining style of marketer Ben Settle. I just softened Ben’s somewhat dismissive and harsh tone to make it more suited to these tummy-sensitive leads.

Result?

What were the total sales, made ​across I don’t know how many hundreds or thousands of expensive cold leads?

Two. ​​Two sales total.

Why? Why???

The email copy was solid. Sure, I would do it better today, but even back then, I had a “George Costanza school of digestive health” email and one about “How to survive 5-star restaurant food.”

I don’t know the reason why my infotaining email copy flopped. But it brings to mind this old but gold point raised by master copywriter Robert Collier:

“It’s not the copy so much as the scheme back of it.”

Tweaking words is rarely your biggest lever. Even less so if your copy is halfway decent.

Instead, figure out the right scheme. The scheme to get in front of the right prospect. The scheme to get their attention. The scheme to appeal to hidden closets and cupboards of their psychology. The scheme to get them eager and greedy.

Do that,​​ and the specific copywriting tricks you use won’t matter all that much.

And now, let me tell you about my Most Valuable Email trick. It’s an email copywriting trick.

It might seem self-defeating to tell you about it. ​​

Except, through some magic, this email copywriting trick turns you into a 21st-century scheme man or scheme woman. Maybe one to parallel Robert Collier himself one day.

I won’t explain in more detail how the Most Valuable Email trick makes that happen.

For anybody who has bought and gone through my Most Valuable Email training, it will be obvious.

For you, if you haven’t yet gone through Most Valuable Email, and if you’re curious:

https://bejakovic.com/mve/

Looks like I’ve won a $1,000 copywriting gig!

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About two months ago, I found out about an exciting copywriting gig:

An online publication was looking for content writers. The pay was $250 per article of about 750 words. Articles could come in a thematic series of 4.

I came up with an idea for a 4-part series, wrote up a nice little proposal, and sent it off to the editor of the publication.

And then, as nothing seemed to be happening, I forgot all about it.

Fast forward to two weeks ago:

The editor wrote back to me to say my idea sounds wonderful. And if I can get her the first drafts by December 16, my articles could be published as soon as January. And once my articles are published, inshallah, I will get paid $1k!

There once was a time, not even so many years ago, when I would have gladly taken on this kind of work without any ulterior motive.

But today, it takes a little something extra to get me excited.

So here’s the something extra:

This online publication is The Professional Writers’ Alliance. From what I understand, PWA is a paid community of freelance copywriters, somewhere under the umbrella of AWAI.

Are you getting a glimpse of my devious scheme?

I write some interesting and valuable content for PWA, and include a byline and a link to my site…

Some freelance copywriter out there reads my content and decides to get on my email list to read more…

I send him a few more well meaning emails and then—

BAM! I sell him one of my offers that might be interesting to freelance copywriters.

All right, writing guest content as a means of self-promotion is probably not new to you. What might be new to you is the following suggestion:

Look for ways to get paid for your self-promotion.

Of course, it’s not always possible, but it is more possible than you might at first think.

For example, did you know it’s possible to get paid to send out your sales letters to your audience, either online or by mail?

In other words, rather than having to pay either the USPS to deliver your stuffed-and-enveloped sales letter… or having to pay Facebook to get eyeballs that will look at your sales page… you can actually get paid each time a high-quality prospect reads your sales pitch?

It’s true, and it’s actually what I will be writing about for the PWA in January.

If you’ve been reading my emails for a while, you probably know this get-paid-to-advertise trick. And if not, I might write more about it in the coming weeks.

To get on my email list so you can read that (beware, I might try to sell you something), click here and fill out the form that appears.

Marketing to frustrated newlyweds and disgusted divorcees

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Last autumn, Reuters published an article about an Iraqi man named Aram Mehdi. Mehdi belongs to the persecuted Kurdish minority in Iraq. And though he grew up Muslim, Mehdi converted from Islam to Zoroastrianism.

He says it’s been a real struggle:

“We cannot even write a comment on a Facebook post as a Zoroastrian. Some people say it’s a taboo to dine with you, ugly animals are better than you. Others say, ‘Just let us know where you are if you dare.'”

Maybe your reaction to this is, “Wow that’s terrible. Poor born-again Iraqi Zoroastrians.”

Or maybe you’re heartless like me. And maybe your reaction was more like, “Seriously guy, you were kind of asking for it. After all, if you are a member of a persecuted minority in a war-torn country… why would you willingly make yourself a member of an even smaller, even more persecuted minority?”

Well, maybe because it’s fundamental human psychology.

Over the past few months, I’ve shared a lot of quotes from Eric Hoffer’s book True Believer. That’s because it’s so full of interesting ideas.

I’m gonna do it again in just a moment. But before you turn me off, I will tell you this idea has real, concrete, maybe even profitable direct marketing implications.

Ok, on to Hoffer and his quote:

“Since all mass movements draw their adherents from the same types of humanity and appeal to the same types of mind, it follows: (a) all mass movements are competitive, and the gain of one in adherents is the loss of all the others; (b) all mass movements are interchangeable. One mass movement readily transforms itself into another. A religious movement may develop into a social revolution or a nationalist movement; a social revolution, into militant nationalism or a religious movement; a nationalist movement into a social revolution or a religious movement.”

The starting point of Hoffer’s book is that people who join holy causes are fundamentally frustrated. And they look to the holy cause as a way of escaping their current, flawed selves, and being reborn in some new, cleansing identity.

For that, the actual holy cause doesn’t matter too much. Many potential ones will do.

For example, if for any reason you cannot be reborn as a freedom fighter (Kurdish minority in Iraq)… well, then there’s always some fringe religious movement that’s open to you (Zoroastrian minority in a dominantly Muslim country). And if that doesn’t work, then maybe you can become an anarchist or a communist or a pacifist.

So that’s the interesting psychology idea — or interesting to me at least. Now here’s the related direct marketing advice.

It’s based on the fact that direct response customers are also fundamentally frustrated. They share many traits with Hoffer’s true believers.

And that’s why if you run a DR business, your best prospects are either the newlyweds or the divorced. Either people who recently bought something from your competition for the first time… or people who recently walked away from your competition in disgust, and who claim they will never buy anything like that ever again.

Because those people are still frustrated. And because their holy cause — the product they are buying and identifying with — doesn’t matter all that much.

What does this mean practically?

Well, in the good old days of direct mail, you could actually buy lists of unsubscribers or new buyers.

But even today, with a bit of thought, I believe can apply this to your business.

For example, you might have your own list of fallen subscribers or customers. This might be your most valuable resource – if you sell it to your competition.

And vice versa. Your best leads might come from a joint venture with your competition. Just have them send you their disgusted ex-customers.

More broadly:

If you’re trying to position yourself in the market, you don’t have to be so unique, likeable, or even much of an expert. Just make it clear you are not that other guy — while still promising the same opportunity for blessed escape that the other guy was selling.

By the way, if you really hate Ben Settle, and his email marketing tips, you might like my daily email newsletter about marketing and copywriting. you can sign up for it here.

The old “Simon Lannister”: How to achieve the possible

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Simon flew through the finish line and immediately collapsed, face down on the track.

“You all right, Si?” It was his sister Margot, standing over him and holding a stopwatch.

Simon lay there on the ground, gasping for breath. “heave… heave… TIME? heave…”

“Oh right,” Margot said. She looked at the stopwatch. “Three minutes, 59.7 seconds. That seems good. Is that good?”

Simon kept heaving for breath, face flat on the ground. Gradually his hands curled into fists and his heaves turned into sobs. “I did it… I DID IT…”

Simon’s Jack Russell terrier, Sergeant, came over and sniffed his master’s feet. Sergeant followed the scent away into the grassy, wildflower-covered field in the middle of the track.

“I don’t mean to rush you Si,” Margot said, “but could you maybe hurry it up? We’ll be late for lunch. And you know how mum gets whenever we’re late.”

And that’s all the detail that’s been preserved about this historic event.

Because historians love to study and celebrate Roger Bannister, the first man to run the four-minute mile, back in 1954.

But practically nobody studies or even remembers Simon Lannister, the 34th man to run the four-minute mile, only a few years later, in 1958.

And I suspect it will be the same with me and my achievement yesterday.

Because yesterday, I got banned from r/copywriting.

The context is that over the past few days, I’ve been rewarding people who share links to my Copy Riddles optin page.

And that’s why Sonam Zahrt-Tenzin, a copywriter who’s already gone through the Copy Riddles program, put together a nice writeup of his experience and posted it on the r/copywriting subreddit.

But when I went to read it a few hours later, it was “[removed].” In fact, a post at the top of r/copywriting said any links to me and any of my stuff are now banned because there have been too many of them over the past few days.

You might think this is a failure but:

I’m grateful to Sonam and to all the other people who shared links to my site.

Like I said, I doubt history will remember our collective achievement in getting me banned from r/copywriting. I’m certainty not the first to break through that barrier — I believe that was Daniel Throssell, and probably other people after him.

Even so, it’s been an achievement for me. And I don’t mean that in a perverse, “good is bad, bad is good” sense.

I mean it in the sense that I’ve seen a nice bump in new subscribers over the past few days.

In fact, I saw a bump on top of that bump after the “banned” post appeared at the top of r/copywriting. And since that post is sitting there still, I’m guessing it will send a few more people to check out my site.

What’s more, I imagine this promo campaign will bring me knock-on benefits and name exposure, which will only be obvious in weeks and months to come.

That’s the achievement I’m happy about.

Now, as you might have noticed if you’ve been reading my emails for a while, I’m not a person who particularly craves attention, controversy, or conflict.

But the fact is, if you do anything in life… besides drumming your fingers on the table and watching the seasons change outside your window… then soon enough, you will run into resistance, whether internal or external.

In my experience, the only thing to do at that point is to give it the old Simon Lannister:

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, if for no other reason than that you’ve set your mind to it. And once you’re done, pick yourself up from the track, and rather than dwelling on your achievement or the resistance you encountered, go get lunch, and then move on to the next goal in your life.

For example:

Even though Daniel was the first to get banned from many choice locations on the Internet… I’m sure other virgin forums, groups, and communities remain.

So if you’d like to help me get the word out about this newsletter, and possibly get banned somewhere new, then take a look at the link below.

I’m offering a bribe in exchange for your help. But if the bribe doesn’t turn you on, ignore it. And if you want to help me out just for the sake of helping me out, I’ll be grateful to you. Here are the full details:

https://bejakovic.com/free-offer-niche-expert-cold-emails/

My Andre Chaperon-like, Sphere of Influence-inspired optin page

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Here’s a little riddle for you:

How do three men, one of whom has been mostl—

But hold. This is neither the time nor the place for that.

In case you read my email yesterday, you know I promised that today, I’d reuse something I’d written in my email yesterday.

And in fact, I’ve done just that. But it’s not that tiny bit at the top. And it’s not in this email you’re reading.

Instead, you can find what I promised at the link below. That’s where you can read the scene from the Princess Bride I wrote about yesterday, and see how I made it fit to a completely new purpose.

The purpose, in this case, is to illustrate and set up a valuable lesson from my Copy Riddles program, which I’ll open up again for a few days later this month.

For this round of Copy Riddles, I decided to put a bit of thought into getting the word out.

So I wrote up an Andre Chaperon-like, Sphere of Influence-inspired optin page on the Copy Riddles site.

That means that rather than promising people interesting or entertaining information if they opt in to my list… I put that interesting and entertaining stuff right there on the page. And if somebody really is interested and entertained once they are done reading, they can opt in for more.

So here’s the deal for today:

If you’d like to find out (or be reminded of, in case you’ve already gone through Copy Riddles) a valuable little copywriting secret I discovered hidden inside a bullet by A-list copywriter David Deutsch…

Or if you’d like to see what exactly an Andre Chaperon-like, Sphere of Influence-inspired optin page looks like…

Or if you just want to get closure on my Princess Bride email from yesterday…

Then take a look at the link below:

https://copyriddles.com/

Oh and if you do take a look, I’d appreciate your feedback on this page.

Because starting tomorrow, I’ll be promoting this page (I’ll explain how tomorrow). But that means i still have a bit of time to make changes, to add, and to remove.

So whatever your impression of this page, and whatever your feedback… I’ll be grateful if you write me an email and let me know. Thanks in advance.

Skipper trump card test

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“I was walking on the dock. Alan was walking towards me. There was a girl in between us, maybe around 15, walking towards him and away from me.

“All of a sudden, the girl seemed to lie down. She hit the stern line, rolled around it, and fell into the water.

“I didn’t understand what was going on. But I saw Alan take off his shirt and throw his cell phone on the ground and dive in after her.

“The girl was sinking. He pulled her up to the surface and I pulled her back out on the dock.

“The girl had had an epileptic seizure. Since she was walking towards Alan, he saw her and realized what was going on in time. She would have drowned in a few moments more.”

A few nights ago, I found myself in the company of a bunch of sailboat skippers.

At first, it was like they were speaking a different language. But after a while, in between the industry jargon and the inside jokes and the unfamiliar names, I slowly began to grasp what was going on.

They were playing a game. Like a card game, but with stories.

One skipper would tell a story — for example, a terrible experience working for a charter company. Then somebody would tell another story on the same topic.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” was the implied criterion.

Eventually, one of the skippers would pull out the trump card — a story so good that nobody else could top it.

There would be a few moments of quiet appreciation. That skipper had won the round, and his standing in the group seemed to rise a bit.

Then a new round would start, with another topic. (The story above of the girl and the seizure was part of the “near-death experiences” round. It wasn’t the trump card, it turned out.)

Of course, skippers are not unique in playing this game. I was an outsider in this group, so it was easy to see what was going on. But we all do this, all the time.

Stories, jokes, explanations… they are social currency.

They help you play the game. Maybe even win a round. Get a few moments of appreciation… and have your standing rise a bit.

So in case you’re wondering where this is all going, let me give you some industry jargon and maybe a familiar name.

If you want free traffic, then this same process can work in your favor.

From what I can tell, all you have to do is put something new out there… and make sure it’s big enough to beat the cards that came before it.

As an example, take Rich Schefren in the Internet marketing space. That space is full of outsized claims — “How an Oklahoma farm boy cracked the online code to earn $1,123,234.23 in 0.1221 minutes.”

Eventually, no such claim becomes any bigger than any of the others.

So Rich created a new story, which could beat all the cards that had been thrown down on the table till then. “You are an opportunity seeker,” Rich said, “and you will never get where you want to go by continuing on that path.”

Result?

Millions of downloads of Rich’s Internet Business Manifesto. Not through ad spend. Not through SEO. Not through the manual labor of going on stage to speak the gospel. But entirely through the efforts of other people, playing a game like I described above.

This is not how-to advice. You can’t take this and use it to come up with an idea that will get shared.

But it is a test you can apply to an idea you’ve already got.

Maybe your idea doesn’t pass the skipper trump card test. It can still be successful. You’ll just have to push it out into the world, and you might have to spend money on ads.

But if you don’t like pushing, or you got no money for ads, then you can come up with more ideas. And more. Until you find one that does pass the skipper trump card test. Because…

You want to give your market value?

This is value. Not how-to advice. But social currency they can use to benefit themselves… and indirectly, to benefit you also. After all, you’re the house. And the house always wins.

By the way, I’ve got casino. Wonderful games, free to play. Bring your friends Would you like to join for a few rounds? Here’s the secret door in.