Copywriting

Briefs

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Sometimes it can be good to stand out. For example:

Back in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s, one Joseph Sugarman made hundreds of millions of dollars worth of sales through full-page ads he ran in various magazines. He was competing for the attention of readers with other advertisers, most of whom were trying to cram as many features and benefits as possible into their ad headlines.

Not so with Joe. Much of the time, he ran his ads with cryptic one- or two-word headlines I’ll call “briefs.” Examples include:

“Hot”

“Pet Plane”

“Magic Baloney”

“Vision Breakthrough”

“Hungarian Conspiracy”

Joe’s theory was the all the visual elements of an ad — the headline, the images, the logo, etc — serve only one purpose.

And that purpose is to get the reader to read the first sentence.

The ultra-short headlines old Joe used helped do this in a few different ways.

For one, they stood out, relative to all the other ads out there, and they attracted attention. Two, they were easy on the reader. It doesn’t take a lot to digest one or at max two words. Three: even though they were short, all these headlines were curiosity-baiting. And here’s why that’s so important.

Imagine I’d used a different short headline for this post. In fact, imagine it was simply, “Short Headlines.”

I don’t think, and maybe you would agree, that it would work nearly as well as “Briefs,” which hints at what’s inside without giving it away, while at the same time conjuring up images of red underpants in your mind.

Anyways, I think briefs are great. And they should definitely be used on occasion.

But at least when it comes to daily emails, they shouldn’t be used all the time. It stops being novel or intriguing. Nor should they be used as a crutch, when a more direct, benefit-oriented title, headline, or subject line would do better.

For example, I’ll soon be launching a new book on Amazon. It’s titled:

“How to become a $150/hr, top-rated sales copywriter on Upwork”

I could have called this book “Upwork Secrets.” Or “Freelancing Baloney.”

But considering the platform I’ll be selling on, the people I’m after, and the kind of content that’s inside the book, I think I’ll be more effective with the long title.

Anyways, once I launch the book, it will go through a short free promo period. If you want to get notified when this happens, sign up below:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

Cute aggression

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When I was a kid, I had this strange thing with kittens.

I didn’t like them. They were cute, yes — but in a way that made me want to go over and crush their little kitten heads.

Don’t get me wrong. I never actually hurt any cats. It was just thoughts running in my head, rather than actual instincts to harm. But it was weird. And I certainly thought it was unique.

Not so much, it turns out.

Some scientists have actually studied this phenomenon, and have found it to be relatively common.

They’ve even given it a catchy name, “cute aggression.” They have a theory that the big bubbly eyes of kittens, puppies, and babies trigger parallel systems in some people’s brains — one for cuteness, one for rewards. (I’m not sure how “rewards” translates into a desire to crush, but the scientists apparently do.)

Now here’s the thing:

I thought I was unique — or rather, alone and uniquely weird — when it came to my cute aggression. Many people out there feel the same way about random other things.

Perhaps the best example of such a random thing comes from the reclusive and brilliant copywriting legend, Bill Jayme. On the outside envelope of a sales letter for Psychology Today, Jayme included the “uniquely weird” teaser:

“Do you close the bathroom door even when you’re the only one at home?”

It worked well. The sales letter was a control for eight years.

So what am I telling you?

If you can catalogue those weird thoughts, ideas, insecurities, fixations, and emotions of the people in your market, you can pull them out when it’s time to make a sale.

That’s because empathy is a very strong way of getting people to buy.

Anyways, I have a secret and very effective method for digging up your market’s “cute aggressions.” And if you want to find out what it is, sign up below to get a free copy of my upcoming book on email marketing, where I will discuss this method:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Creative guarantees vol. 2: Consumers Hero

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How do you double your conversion rate?

Well, you can try changing your headline. You can tweak the price or your offer itself. Or you can do what Joe Sugarman did back in the 1970s for one ad he ran in magazines like Popular Science.

Sugarman was the genius behind BluBlocker sunglasses — he sold around $300 million worth of those. But he also sold a lot of other random stuff through ads in magazines, even including an airplane.

For instance, the ad I’m talking about today was for something called Consumers Hero. This was basically a membership club with a $5 signup fee, which allowed you to buy refurbished goods at cut-throat prices.

Old Joe, marketing maven that he was, tested everything.

A new headline improved response by 20%.

A different price didn’t seem to have much effect at all.

But changing just the guarantee — or as Sugarman calls it, “satisfaction conviction” — doubled the response. So let’s look at these guarantees, before and after.

The old one was pretty vanilla, something along the lines of:

“If you don’t buy anything through your membership and you want to cancel, I’ll refund the unused portion of your membership.”

Standard, right? But now, here’s the one that doubled response:

“But what if you never buy from us and your two-year membership expires? Fine. Send us just your membership card and we’ll fully refund your five dollars plus send you interest on your money.”

Creative. And likely to make potential customers think, “he’s going to lose his shirt!” According to Sugarman, that’s the kind of reaction you’re looking for when writing a guarantee.

By the way, I got all this info from Joe Sugarman’s book on copywriting, original titled “Advertising Secrets of the Written Word.” It’s one of my goto’s for copywriting wisdom.

That’s why it’s going on my “Copywriters Hero” bonus that I’m making available for free to people who get my upcoming book on freelance copywriting on Upwork.

The book itself will teach you the business side of getting set up on Upwork, getting clients, and charging increasingly expensive rates for your copywriting services. But it won’t teach you anything about the craft of copywriting. You’re on your own for that.

However, the “Copywriters Hero” bonus will include a list of the best resources I’ve used to actually learn about the craft of copywriting, and ones that any newbie can use to get up to speed fast.

If you want to get a copy of the Upwork book when it goes live on Amazon in a couple of weeks (there will be a short free promo period), sign up below to get notified when it’s out:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

How to use goons and other criminal elements to make more sales

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“They don’t want you to score goals! They want blood! They’re booing ya!”
— Reggie Dunlop, Charlestown Chiefs

I’ve been laid up sick for the past few days.

So I’ve been watching lots of movies, including a nostalgic 1977 look at the bad old days of professional hockey, titled:

“Slap Shot.”

It stars Paul Newman as Reggie Dunlop, an aging player and coach of the Charlestown Chiefs, a losing team that’s about to be shut down.

Reggie thinks that if he can start filling up the stadium again, he might save the team.

So he resorts to a proven, age-old strategy to increase engagement, curiosity, and sales:

Drama.

For example, he regularly starts playing the Hanson brothers, a trio of teenaged goons wearing identical coke-bottle glasses, who are ready to start a fight at any moment — including during warmups, before the game has begun.

He also puts out a bounty on an opposing team’s captain, saying he’ll pay $100, out of his own pocket, to the first of his players to “nail that creep.”

Is it illegal?

Probably.

Reggie doesn’t care.

Nor does he stop there.

For example, he hires an ambulance to circle the stadium with the siren running, signalling the bloodbath that happens inside to the whole town.

And when the thuggish and criminal reputation of the the Chiefs becomes known throughout the league, and opposing teams’ fans wait to protest as the Chiefs arrive into town, he gets the whole team to moon the hecklers.

Yes, it’s becoming a freak show rather than a sports contest.

But it’s working.

The stadium is full, fans are ecstatic, and the Chiefs themselves are so motivated they even wind up winning the championship.

And so for you.

If you can work in some drama into your marketing copy — and you can — it will increase increase your engagement, curiosity, and sales.

Anyways, while I’ve been laid up watching movies, my book on Upwork success is still progressing.

And if you want to know when I publish it on Amazon, and run the initial free promotion, then skate on over to the page below, and slap your email address in:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

The natural and complete cure for hair loss

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Let’s talk about a guy named Rob.

Around the age of 16, Rob started losing his hair.

He went to the doctor, and the diagnosis was uninspiring:

Male pattern baldness. Prognosis: slick and shiny.

Rob started on the available treatments right away, including laser therapy and Rogaine. This slowed the hair loss, but it didn’t stop it, and it certainly didn’t reverse it.

Fast forward about ten years.

What would you expect has happened to Rob in the meantime?

Surprisingly, Rob has regained all his lost hair, completely naturally, without drugs, transplants, wigs, toupees, or that blackening hair spray that used to be sold through infomercials.

Nothing beats a demonstration

So how did Rob do it? In a nutshell:

Detumescence therapy.

Basically, Rob performed a special massage on his scalp, twice a day, every day, for about a year. After month five or so, hair slowly started growing back. By the end of the year, he regrew most of the hair he had lost over the previous decade.

So what’s going on?

Well, there are a few legitimate ways that detumescence therapy might actually work.

One is that the massage releases excess sebum that’s been stored in the scalp, which is slowly choking off hair follicles. Another is that it possibly breaks up and even reverses calcification of the scalp, which has been implicated in hair loss. A third way is that it increases blood flow to the scalp, which is basically the same mechanism that drugs such as Rogaine depend on.

But don’t take my word for it.

Detumescence therapy was first described in a scientific paper back in 2012, by a team out of the University of Hong Kong. It was based on a clinical study in which 100% of the subjects regrew 90% of their hair.

And it has been supported by additional studies out of Japan, which looked at the effects of massage and acute inflammation on hair regrowth.

Anyhow, I’m not here to pitch detumescence therapy to you. (If you want to find out more about it, I recommend Rob’s site Perfect Hair Health.)

All I wanted to do was to illustrate a technique I just learned from an interview with one of the most successful copywriters of all times, Parris Lampropoulos.

Parris writes a lot in the health space.

And in this interview, he shared a three-step process for presenting outrageous (but true) health claims, and convincing prospects that they are real. You can see an example of it in this post. It basically goes story-explanation-studies.

And if you want more such examples, or a breakdown of other ways to present health claims, sign up for my upcoming book.

It deals with email marketing for the health space.

It’s not out yet. But you can get a free copy when I finish it up if you sign up now:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

The four horsemen of the Upwork apocalypse

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A friend asked me about Upwork recently.

He wanted to know, are there red flags for job listings? In other words, are there some jobs you should never apply for, because the clients are guaranteed to be trouble?

And lo, I had a vision.

Four horsemen. Each more awe-inspiring than the one before.

Now these four horsemen do not bring death, pestilence, famine, and war. But they do bring frustration, low wages, uninteresting projects, and stress. Let me tear open the four seals of my upcoming Upwork Bible, and tell you about them:

1. The blue banana horseman

Riding on a perfectly normal job listing, this horseman carries a banner. And on that banner, it is written:

“Add the words ‘blue banana’ at the top of your application so I know you read this whole thing.”

This horseman is very clever. And he’s too clever by far for any decent freelancer. If you engage with him, be warned, it will end in frustration.

2. The waffle horseman

This horseman arrives in a cloud of mist.

In his hand, he carries a waffle. That’s because he doesn’t know what he wants, or he cannot express it. So his job listing is ominously broad:

“Looking for an expert to help me grow my business through marketing. You need to know video editing and design and copywriting. Added bonus if you’re good at Excel.”

What this horseman is really saying is, “My business isn’t profitable yet. But heavy is my burden of small, confusing tasks. Come inside my empire and you will be rewarded meagerly.”

3. The pied pier horseman

This horseman can be recognized from afar by the symbol blazing on his chest. It reads:

“Rewrite this paragraph to prove to us you’re right for this job.”

The pied piper horseman does not do this because he’s trying to cheat you or get something for nothing. Instead, it’s because he thinks of freelancers like lemmings: small, requiring tight corralling, and incapable of independent thought.

Beware of following the pied piper horseman, because he will lead you over the cliff into uninteresting, menial work.

4. The grim reaper horseman

The Upwork grim reaper does not hold a scythe in his hand. Instead, he carries an hourglass, which has just run out of time. This horseman has a tight deadline, requiring an 8,000-word VSL, which needs to be done by this Thursday. And he needs you to start work on it NOW.

If you allow this horseman to wrap you up in his raven’s wings, expect untold stress to descend upon you. At least until Thursday, and possibly even later.

Now these creatures and others haunt the Upwork job listings page.

They are not evil. But neither are they righteous clients.

I advise you to stay away from them, and focus on better work. And as for that Bible I mentioned at the start:

You might like it if you are wandering through valley of Upwork. It will show you how to avoid the unrighteous clients, and to stay on the path that leads to the light ie. high hourly rates. To get notified once I complete this book (in the next week or two), inscribe your name on the following:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

How to get copywriting clients quicker than a jackrabbit on a date

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After three days, I’ve finally finished watching A Christmas Story.

So let me share one final lesson with you from this great movie.

In one scene, while setting up the lights on the Christmas tree, the fuse blows out. No problem. As the narrator says:

“The old man could replace fuses quicker than a jackrabbit on a date.”

Which suggestive image I guess is one for the parents watching.

It’s also a great phrase, and it’s going in my great phrases list, which also includes gems such as:

lost like an idiot on a moor
a lame invalid of a sofa
oppression olympics
horse it in
a curable romantic

… and many, many more.

Why use these weird phrases?

Well, as Parris Lampropoulos says in the new episode of David Garfinkel’s Copywriters Podcast, when you tell people something new, it creates a dopamine dump in their brain. They literally become addicted to reading your copy.

Now Parris was talking about new facts and new ideas. But methinks new and surprising phrases have the same effect. And that’s why I’ve been putting together this list, and reaching into it regularly.

Anyways, if you want to rustle up copywriting clients quicker than a jackrabbit on a date, I have something that can light your fuse.

It’s my upcoming book on the business of freelance copywriting on Upwork. More info here:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

Sticking your tongue to a frozen pole and other marketing tricks

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Continuing from yesterday, here’s another hidden marketing lesson from A Christmas Story:

Two boys, Flick and Schwartz, are having a scientific discussion while walking to school on a winter morning. Says Schwartz to Flick:

“Hey, listen, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to metal light poles in winter. And he says it will freeze right to the pole just like I told you.”

Flick considers this and replies:

“Baloney. What would your old man know about anything?”

And the next thing you know, the kids are out in the school playground. One triple dog dare later, and the unbelieving Flick is sticking his tongue to the frozen flagpole. Sure enough, his tongue is stuck, and the fire department has to come to get him unglued.

So what’s the marketing lesson here?

Well, this morning I was listening to an interview with one of the most successful, most highly paid copywriters in the world, Parris Lampropoulos.

Parris was asked what the biggest problems are that he sees with sales copy.

The first was hackneyed claims (ie. “get rich at the push of a button”).

The second was a lack of proof.

Specifically, Parris said many ads only have one kind of proof, and that’s testimonials.

Now testimonials can be great. If you have good testimonials, they can certainly help you make the sale. But not all testimonials are convincing. After all, what does your old man know about anything?

And even if you can get a testimonial from somebody who’s not a direct member of your family, there are often other, stronger kinds of proof you should include.

Like asking people to stick their tongue to a frozen pole to try it themselves.

Or explaining how the sticking effect has to do with the extreme difference in thermal conductivity between pole and tongue.

Or appealing to authorities like Bill Nye The Science Guy — or even Parris Lampropoulos.

Anyways, this is a big topic and I will cover it in more detail later. For now, just one more thing:

If you are looking to convince potential freelancing clients that you would be a good person to hire, then testimonials can help.

For other forms of proof that can help you win freelancing work, check out my upcoming book on making a career as a sales copywriter on Upwork. More info here:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

A Christmas Problem

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It’s Christmas Eve tonight, so I wanted to write a Christmas-themed post.

I rummaged around my brain, and remembered a great scene from the movie “A Christmas Story.”

Little pudgy Ralph, the main character, gets a snowball to the eye from the neighborhood bully, Scut Farkus. Scut then taunts him:

“What are you gonna cry now? Come on, cry baby, cry for me. Come on!”

But instead of crying, instead of running off, instead of just standing there and taking a beating, little Ralphie slowly but surely goes berserk.

He jumps on Scut and beats him to a pulp while a “steady torrent of obscenities” pours out of him.

A problem, about to become an opportunity

Great scene. All I needed for my post was to tie this scene in with some kind of marketing lesson. One problem though.

I couldn’t come up with anything.

I went through a long list of marketing lessons I’ve collected over time. I went through lots of half-baked email ideas I’ve previously laid aside. I sat and stared at the ceiling and hoped for inspiration.

But nothing.

So I gave up. And I went back to re-reading Joe Sugarman’s Adweek Copywriting Handbook. And in there, Joe mentions off-handedly how he always looks at problems as opportunities.

For example, one time he was selling a calculator below the recommended price through an ad in the Wall Street Journal. The manufacturer then complained to Joe about the low price.

“No problem,” said Joe. “I’ll fix it.”

And he wrote a second ad for the WSJ, explaining how he has to raise the price because the manufacturer is complaining, and inviting customers to buy the calculator before the price goes up.

Problem? Yes, and an opportunity too. The second ad outpulled the first one.

So I decided to apply this lesson to my problem (no marketing idea for today’s post), and here we are, you and I, learning something together.

Anyways, no Christmas post would be complete without a present. The present I have for you is currently in the oven, and should be ready in a few days’ time.

It’s my book on becoming a successful sales copywriter on the online platform Upwork.

If you want to get notified when I finish it up, sign up at the link below. And of course, have a merry Christmas, and may you wake up tomorrow to a Red Ryder range model air rifle waiting for you under the Christmas tree.

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

Cross-dressing for negotiation success

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“No, I wear men’s suits. I got this out of a bin.”
— Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin Inc.

Here’s an inadvertent but brilliant negotiation lesson from the TV show The Office:

Michael Scott, the regional manager, is about to have a salary negotiation with one of his employees, Darryl. Michael is dreading the negotiation, and he’s preparing with some awful negotiation tactics he got from Wikipedia. But when the actual negotiation starts, it all falls apart quickly.

Darryl states his demands.

Michael lamely tries to refuse, and then:

Darryl notices that Michael is wearing “lady clothes.”

Could it really be that Michael is dressed in a Hillary-like women’s pant suit?

Let’s see.

The buttons are on the wrong side.

There are no pockets on the pants.

And the label inside the jacket reveals it’s made by the MISSterious label.

The thing is, though unintentional, this is straight out of the book of expert negotiation coach Jim Camp.

One of Camp’s tenets was:

In a negotiation, only one person can feel unokay, and that person is you.

In other words, contrary to conventional wisdom, you don’t want to dominate or lord over the other person when you negotiate. Not if you want a negotiation outcome that sticks. Instead, you want to make the other person feel okay — with themselves, and with the interaction.

One way to do this is to be unokay yourself.

For example, by accidentally dropping your papers all over the floor.

Or forgetting your briefcase at home and asking for a pen and paper.

Or, as Michael did, by inadvertently dressing in a women’s pant suit.

Does it work?

Camp used to swear by it. And by the end of the The Office episode, Michael winds up getting a raise for both himself and Darryl. As he says, “win-win-win.”

Personally, I haven’t tried these unokay gambits myself. But the underlying message — make the other person feel okay — is something I regularly use when talking to potential Upwork clients, and it’s served me well.

If you want to know more about my Upwork strategy, including how I got to be a top-rated sales copywriter on the site and how I get paid $150/hr, then sign up below. I’m currently putting together a book about my Upwork experience,  and if you sign up, I’ll let you know when the book is out. Here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/