A few weeks ago, I got a shot at a copy critique from one of the most successful copywriters active today, the great and reclusive Parris Lampropoulos.
Now, Parris can apparently be brutal in his copy critiques.
Plus, the critiques he was offering would be done in front of an audience of several hundred people.
And it would all be recorded.
So I was a little nervous about submitting anything.
At the same time, it was a fantastic opportunity. After all, Parris has written dozens of million-dollar marketing campaigns, and here was an opportunity to get personalized feedback from the guy.
So I gritted my teeth, picked out a sales letter I had written last year, and submitted it.
This sales letter was for RightBiotics, a probiotic supplement sold by RealDose Nutrition.
Anyways, when the the big day came, Parris critiqued several other people’s copy before he got to mine.
And all throughout, he was encouraging and fair — even though he told a few people to burn what they had and start over.
Finally, it was my turn.
“The body copy is good,” Parris said. But there was a serious problem, which Parris pointed out with a question:
“John, are you the first person ever on the face of the planet to sell a probiotic supplement?”
(I am not.)
“So why would you come out and tip off you’re selling something?”
And it’s true. In my headline, I announced a “clinically proven new probiotic that does XYZ.” Regardless of how this letter was formatted — even if it looked like an article — the reader would know immediately I was selling something.
Doing this might be acceptable when you’re selling something incredibly unique…
Or when you’ve already got a good relationship with the reader.
But for cold traffic, Parris said, this simply wasn’t good enough.
And with that, the critique was over.
I was still alive.
And I even had a clear plan of action. That’s because Parris gave me a simple — though not necessarily easy — way to fix this sales letter.
I’ll talk more about this over the coming days, as I implement Parris’s critique.
For now, remember Parris’s advice about tipping off the reader. It applies if you’re ever running ads and trying to sell something to people who don’t know you.
On the other hand, if you’re not trying to make sales to cold traffic, you might consider sending them daily emails to build a relationship first.
And if you want some advice on how to do this well, you might like my upcoming book. It talks about several successful email campaigns I’ve written — including one for RealDose Nutrition, which tripled sales for a specific funnel.
What’s more, you can get a free copy of this book when I finish it (in the next month or two). To sign up, here’s where to go: