Copywriting

A real-life Joker triggered my Spidey sense today

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I had a surreal experience today:

I heard a well-known, madly successful guru tell his origin story in a semi-private setting. It all sounded very credible except — only a few days earlier, I had heard him tell the same origin story in another semi-private setting. And the critical details were completely different.

It felt like the scene in The Dark Knight, where the Joker explains how he became the Joker because his daddy cut him up when he was a kid… and then a while later in the movie, he says he became the Joker because he slashed himself up with a razor blade to please his wife.

I’m not sure if the guru in question really was lying. But it’s certainly possible.

Because there are genuine psychos in the business world. And my guess is they are over-represented in the rogues’ gallery of successful gurus, particularly in various marketing and “make money” niches.

Only, unlike in comic books, these real-life psychos don’t dress like the Joker and don’t telegraph their psychopathy with a mad grin. Quite the opposite. As copywriter John Carlton once wrote:

“First, don’t get fooled by people with impeccable manners and loads of charm. I’ve run into more than my share of sociopaths in life, and I’ve actually enjoyed being around them (before I realized what I was dealing with)… These hard-core mofo’s are tough to identify, because they’re good at lying… and good at telling you what they think you want to hear. They’re like ‘Human Whisperers’… they observe humans the way horse whisperers observe and get into the heads of horses… and they can be very, very good at passing themselves off as caring, loving people.”

I’m certainly not telling you to become paranoid and suspicious of everyone you meet.

But when it comes to people who sell online, it’s good to remember that your instincts for who’s trustworthy and who’s not can be manipulated. Perversely, the more quickly and instinctively you trust an online personality, the more your Spidey sense (Batman signal? — apologies for mixing comic book universes) should be going off.

Anyways, here’s another tip:

It’s hard to maintain a psycho facade after a lot of contact over a long period of time. Therefore, if you want to demonstrate your non-psychopathy, one way to do that is to communicate regularly with your audience.

Which is one reason why I write a daily email newsletter, mostly about persuasion, marketing, and manipulation — for psychopaths or not. If you’re interested in trying this newsletter out, click here.

Today’s magic announcement

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“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
— Arthur C. Clarke

Maybe you heard today’s news:

This year’s Nobel Prize for chemistry is going to UC Berkeley professor Jennifer Doudna for her 2011 discovery of the CRISPR/Cas9 mechanism.

From what I understand, CRISPR is a set of “genetic scissors” that allow you to turn an elephant into a mouse, and a mouse into a louse. In other words, it’s pure magic.

I don’t doubt CRISPR works or that it might one day cure HIV, Huntington’s disease, or sickle cell anemia. But the fact is, I have no idea how it works. On a deep level, I never will. And yet, I’m incredibly excited to read about it, and marvel at the sorcery that is possible today.

My point in bringing this up is something I heard copywriter Parris Lampropoulos say once:

We all believe in magic in one form or another.

Maybe it’s your brand of religion… maybe it’s 34th-century science like CRISPR… maybe it’s karma or vibrations or Wicca or whatever.

But one way or another, human beings want magic in their lives.

They don’t want mundane solutions that improve things a reasonable amount. They want magic — a button to push or a wand to wave or a pill to swallow — which will achieve the impossible, and thrill them in the process.

You might think that’s a tall order. But it’s a good target to shoot for, if you’re in the business of selling people what they want.

Speaking of which:

If you’re looking to be thrilled and surprised, every day, then you might like my email newsletter. To make it magically appear in your inbox, simply click here and fill out the form which pops up out of nowhere.

Surviving the Straits of Upwork with a little help from Pelorous John

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There was once a dolphin nicknamed Pelorous Jack.

For 30 years, he guided ships through a dangerous sea passage around one of the islands of New Zealand.

At one point, some scabby sailor tried to shoot Jack with a rifle. Jack survived, and he kept helping ships find their way to safety.

​​But not that ship, the one the sailor tried to shoot him from. That one sank after shipwrecking in Cook Strait. Which you might interpret a lesson about not spitting on free help or tossing away golden opportunities.

Anyways, I would like to propose I be your Pelorous Jack, I mean John, guiding you through the dangerous Straits of Upwork.

As you might know, I got my copywriting start on Upwork. I even wrote a book about my experiences. It tells how I got all the work I wanted (I didn’t want too much) and how I eventually charged $150/hr for that work.

But I’m not here to pitch you this book.

Instead, I want to tell you about an article I’ve put up on my site. It’s about my method for applying to Upwork jobs using stupid-simple, 3-sentences proposals.

If you’re on Upwork, or even if you’re not but you’re pitching clients somewhere else, then Pelorous John can help you navigate to richer waters.

So don’t be a scabby and ungrateful sailor. Take your opportunities when they are given, and if you want help getting freelance jobs, set sail to the link below:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-proposal-sample/

The trouble with “writing how you talk”

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“Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.”
— Bill Burr

I read a question on a copywriter message board recently:

“Should you write copy the way you speak?”

It’s certainly common advice to do so. And it can help people who fear writing to get over their phobia.

​​But I don’t agree that you can speak your way to good writing, or even to good copy.

Fact is, copy should use simple words and paint word pictures.

But except for a few talented communicators, most people don’t talk like that.

Sure, when it’s all done and done, somebody reading your copy should be able to convince themselves they might say this when speaking. But they never really would, any more than your random schmuck off the street would deliver a Bill Burr-level rant while jiving with his friends at the bar.

A top comedian like Burr will put in dozens or hundreds of hours of work to polish and perfect a joke that lasts only a few minutes.

​​And if you want similar success with your copy, you too will have to work harder on your copy than just “writing how you talk.”

Or you can just write daily emails. The rules for those are often different than for traditional sales letters. And if you want to see what I have in mind, you might like to sign up for my daily email newsletter. You can do so by clicking here.

The “philosopher’s stone” tactic for transmuting dull content into sparkling subject lines

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A few days ago, marketer Ben Settle sent out an email with the subject line:

“Email Players subscriber does hostile takeover of the UK childcare industry market”

The body of this email was mostly a standard testimonial from one of Ben’s customers. This guy said he used Ben’s marketing methods to capture 25% of the nursery owners market in the UK. To which Ben added,

“Smells like a hostile takeover of the market to me.”

And that’s where the “hostile takeover” subject line came from.

I thought this was clever. It brought to mind the philosopher’s stone, the magical artifact that allows you to take a bunch of dull lead and turn it into a few ounces of sparkling gold.

Except what Ben was doing was taking a bunch of solid and dull content… and transmuting it into a sparkling subject line.

All it took was free-associating a dramatic phrase, somewhat connected to the topic. It didn’t even have to be too logically connected.

Maybe that’s something you too can try if you write emails for sales and profit.

But you can use this same technique not just for subject lines.

It works for writing bullets, too. (You just might have to tweak the underlying editorial a bit, to make sure you’re not cheating readers when you hand them the dull lead.)

I bring all this up because I promised yesterday to tell you about a free online repository of 1) good bullets and 2) the underlying content those bullets were distilled and conjured from.

Well, that resource is Ben Settle’s daily emails.

Not all of Ben’s subject lines and emails demonstrate bullet-writing tactics.

But many do. And any young and ambitious student who just got accepted into copywriting Hogwarts would do well to stay up late, under candle light, and study these magical texts.

I’ve done it myself, and I continue to do it.

And I apply many of Ben’s marketing lessons — along with some I discovered myself — in my own daily email newsletter. If you want to get on board that train, it takes off from platform 9 1/2.

The most important “do or die” copywriting skill

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Some time back in the 2000s, Internet marketer Ken McCarthy put on a 3-day seminar titled, Advanced Copywriting for Serious Info Marketers.

This seminar has a kind of cult following in the marketing world today. Some of the most successful copywriters out there — people like Dan Ferrari and Ben Settle — say this is one of the best resources for really understanding what copywriting is all about.

Anyways, during this seminar, Ken asked the participants about the most important “do or die” copywriting skill.

“It’s a mechanical skill,” Ken explained. In other words, he wasn’t talking about secret ways of conducting research… or building desire… or even closing the sale.

All those are important. But there’s a single, mechanical skill that all good-to-great copywriters must master.

If I remember correctly, Ken teased this for over 10 minutes. I won’t do the same, because I feel I’ve teased you enough already. So let me just tell you:

This “do or die” skill is writing bullets.

Bullets? Yes, bullets.

Many sales letters are all bullets. But good bullet-writing skill will also mean you can write great headlines (what is a headline but your best bullet?) and subheads.

​​On an deeper level, being able to write good bullets means you can evoke curiosity in your reader, and focus his attention where you want it to go. That’s something you can use in your body copy too, or even in the structure of your sales letter.

But let’s assume Ken is right, and bullets are where it’s at.

So how do you get great at writing bullets?

Copywriter Gary Halbert had a solution for you:

Find a successful sales letter chock full o’ bullets… then get the book or newsletter or course they were selling… then reverse engineer how the copywriter “twisted” the original content to create the sexy bullet.

Thing is, the golden age of bullet-heavy magalogs has passed. And maybe you’re not keen on going on eBay and hunting for 90’s sales letters and the books they sold.

Fear not.

You can get access to some of the best bullets running today, along with the content that spawned them, for free, and in a pretty entertaining package. I’ll tell you all about it in my email tomorrow.

What, you don’t get my daily emails? Well, if you want ’em, you can sign up here.

Taking your reader on a rewarding flight to nowhere

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This July, two Taiwanese airlines, Eva Air and StarLux, started offering flights to nowhere.

This means you could schlep to the airport, have the discomfort of going through security, waiting to board, cramming yourself onto the plane with a bunch of other junkies… only to have the airplane take off, circle around for a couple hours, and land in the exact same damn spot from whence you took off.

The point is that people are so starved for novelty, excitement, and newness that they are willing to pay to be uncomfortable and to pretend to travel somewhere.

Fact is, novelty and uncertainty are one of a few fundamental human needs. And most of us aren’t getting our fill.

Which is why, sadly enough, your sales copy can outperform others, if only it takes your reader on a tiny journey, all while he doesn’t even move from his La-Z Boy. Or as A-list copywriter Jim Rutz put it:

“You must surprise the reader at the outset and at every turn of the copy.”

But perhaps you are wondering about the mechanics of taking your reader on an rewarding flight to nowhere… or exactly what Jim means by surprising the reader at every turn.

If that’s the case, here’s a surprise for you:

I’ve written about this in detail in Commandment VII of my new book, 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters. If you’d like to find out more about this book, or even get a copy for yourself, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

The IOU theory of copywriting

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I read once (in a book) that credit, aka debt, came way before money. In other words, an IOU — a little slip of clay tablet commemorating the three sheep you gave to me — is a more powerful economic idea than gold coins.

I also read once (in an email) that copywriter Gary Halbert said the most powerful human motivating force is not self-interest… but curiosity.

Is there a connection between these two powerful facts?

Clearly. Because I personally think of curiosity as an IOU.

You give a couple of IOUs to your reader right in your headline. “I promise to pay you some valuable information,” each IOU says, “just give me a bit of time.”

As long as you’re in the reader’s debt, as long as he’s holding one of your IOUs, he sticks around. He wants to get paid.

The good thing is that you can give your reader a new IOU before paying off an old one. That way you can keep him around. But be careful.

If you start handing out too many IOUs… if the debt you’re incurring is too outrageous… if the repayment period is too long… then your reader is likely to get frustrated.

“This guy is never gonna pay up,” he will say. “This is just worthless paper.” He will throw away all your IOUs into the river, and along with them, your sale.

In other words, don’t overdo your debt of curiosity. But do do it.

​​And if you want some technical pointers on how to do curiosity in your sales copy, why, I’ve got just the thing.

It’s hidden right there inside Commandment III of my new book on A-list copywriter commandments.

In case you haven’t checked this book out yet, but would like to, here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters

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“And it came to pass on the third day in the morning, that there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voice of the trumpet exceeding loud; so that all the people that was in the camp trembled.”
— Exodus 19:16

Yesterday, I published my new book, The 10 Commandments of A-list Copywriters. It’s a bit of idea sex between the biblical ten commandments and the wisdom handed down by A-list copywriters like Gary Bencivenga and Gene Schwartz and Jim Rutz.

The book is available on Amazon now for your reading pleasure. But fair warning:

Some of these commandments might be surprising. Others might be familiar or obvious.

The covenant is this:

If you obey these commandments devoutly, then the copy gods will look favorably upon you, and treasure you above all people. Maybe they will even elevate you into the ranks of the A-list one day.

But only one way to find out what the copy gods have in store for you. Here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

Fast and Furry-ous choices for surprising readers

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Picture this scene from The Fast and the Furry-ous, the first Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote cartoon:

Wile E. Coyote draws road markers on the ground leading to a cliff. Then he paints a tunnel on the cliff, and hides.

​​MEEP MEEP. The Road Runner comes rushing up, and runs straight through the painted-on tunnel.

​​Wile E. Coyote comes out of hiding, puzzled. ​​He takes a step back, gets a running start – and slams himself into the painted-on cliff. Of course there’s no tunnel there. And just as he’s staggering back to his feet, MEEP MEEP, the Road Runner comes rushing back out of the tunnel, and runs over Coyote again.

Screenwriter William Goldman once wrote the following:

“In a sense, a screenplay, whether a romance or a detective story, is a series of surprises. We detonate these as we go along. But for a surprise to be valid, we must first set the ground rules, indicate expectations.”

Like a screenplay, a sales letter is also a series of surprises. And if you want to know how to detonate those surprises in your sales letters, MEEP MEEP, it’s all there in that scene from the Fast and the Furry-ous. You’ve got two choices. Can you see them?

You might expect me to tell you. But no, I will subvert those expectations. You’re on your own for this one.

But for other tunnels and other copywriting lessons, you might like to get my daily email newsletter. Simply send $0 to the ACME company, and you will get something in the mail very soon.