Copywriting

How copywriters can avoid ham-handed segues that get them eaten alive

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Here’s one of the greatest (and for copywriters, most instructive) scenes in Hollywood history:

“Now then, tell me,” says the doctor behind the glass. “What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?”

The young FBI agent on the other side of the glass adjusts a bit in her chair. “He said, ‘I can smell your cunt.'”

“I see,” the doctor says with a slow blink. “I myself cannot.”

That’s from the first meeting of Dr. Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecter and FBI agent Clarice Starling, in The Silence of the Lambs.

Hannibal Lecter is a genius psychiatrist who happens to be a serial killer. ​​

Clarice is a young FBI trainee. She’s been sent to get Lecter’s help on a case of serial murders.

In those first few moments of the meeting, Clarice does lots of things right:

She makes a damaging admission (“I’m a student”). She flatters Lecter (“Maybe you can decide whether I’m qualified to learn from you”). She makes the embarrassing admission about Miggs. And she shows interest in the drawings of Florence on the walls of Lecter’s cell.

“All that detail just from memory, sir?” she asks.

“Memory, Agent Starling, is all I have instead of a view.”

So far, so good. And then comes the rupture:

“Well,” says Clarice with a nervous smile, “perhaps you’d care to lend us your view on this questionnaire, sir.”

Lecter tilts his head and smiles. Like he’s talking to a 3-year-old girl who just fell and scraped her knees.

“Oh no no no no no,” he says. “You were doing fine. You had been courteous and receptive to courtesy. You had established trust with the embarrassing truth about Miggs. And now this ham-handed segue into your questionnaire. Ts-ts-ts… it won’t do.”

And that’s exactly what can happen to you, and what will happen, unless you take care.

Because your prospect reads your value-laden content or watches your entertaining video. And then comes the pitch.

“Oh no no no no no,” your prospect says with a sympathetic tilt of the head. “It won’t do.”

If you don’t believe that that’s how it is, then let me make a damaging admission of my own.

A while back, an A-list copywriter sent out an email.

I’d been on his list for years, but he never ever emailed anything.

And here he was, writing, and with an interesting personal story. He got me sucked in.

And then, with a ham-handed segue, he switched to an offer for a course he was selling.

I’ll tell you this. I wasn’t as cool and courteous as Hannibal above. I might have cursed at my laptop. And that’s even though I make my living doing the same thing as this guy… and though I should be immune to being pitched.

So my point for you is this:

Indirect selling works. But you have to be better than Clarice was in that opening scene.

Your indirect lead is not just about building a bit of relationship, good will, and rapport.

In the indirect-selling bait, before you get to the switch, you have to do something critically important.

What exactly?

You can find out about that inside my Most Valuable Email training. Because the above email is an email that uses my Most Valuable Email trick.

If you want an explanation of how and where this email uses the Most Valuable Email trick, you can find that in the Most Valuable Email Swipes, which is something I give you along with the core training of the course. Look up #10 in that swipe file, and you will see the trick in action. Plus as a benefit, you will learn how to avoid ham-handed segues that get you eaten alive.

To get it now:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

How to diffuse a witch hunt and nothing else

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Do you want an ultra-powerful persuasion tool?

Well, you’ve already got it. But you might not be using it to the full. Let me show you why, with an example from The Crucible.

The Crucible is a play about the Salem witch trials. A bunch of girls in Salem turn hysterical and start accusing people around town of being witches.

The local reverend, Samuel Parris, is all for the witch hunt.

John Proctor, a farmer and humanist, is all against it.

Proctor knows the girls are lying. He’s even got one of them to confess in private. And now he’s trying to reason with Parris. How could the best people in town, who have been respected and trusted their whole lives, suddenly be in league with the devil? But the Reverend cuts Proctor off:

PARRIS: Do you read the Gospel, Mr. Proctor?

PROCTOR: I read the Gospel.

PARRIS: I think not, or you should surely know that Cain were an upright man, and yet he did kill Abel.

When I read this line, I thought Proctor’s goose was gandered. How do you respond to that? For one thing, it sounds like solid logic. For another, arguing against it means you’re arguing against the Bible. And not respecting the Bible is a sure sign of being a witch… along with weighing the same as a duck.

But then in the very next line, I was shocked and awed. Because Proctor does respond, and in a way that gets him out of the mess he was in.

PROCTOR: Aye, God tells us that. But who tells us Rebecca Nurse murdered seven babies by sending out her spirit on them? It is the children only, and this one will swear she lied to you.

I thought this was brilliant. In fact, I thought I had hit upon something like the reverse philosopher’s stone. A way to turn gold back into lead. A way to diffuse analogies in general.

My greed glands started working. I could use the Proctor technique both to dismiss other persuader’s analogies… and to make my own persuasion stronger. I’d be rich!

Aye, but no. I tried to generalize what Proctor did above. And after thinking about it a lot, the best I came up with is, “Look close at the analogy and figure out where it breaks down.”

Bah. That’s about as useful as telling a kid to lick faster because the ice cream in his hand is melting. It’s too little, too late.

Because most of us aren’t as quick on our feet as John Proctor. And if you try to engage your System 2 brain in diffusing an analogy, well, good luck. The analogy is already in your head, and it’s done its work.

At least that’s my claim. An analogy is an ultra-powerful persuasion tool that’s almost impossible to resist when used right. It lights up your prospect’s brain from the inside. And it’s above critical judgment.

Perhaps you don’t agree with me. Fine.

So look at what Proctor did above. And figure out how you could do the same in general. And then take your new system… and let me know how well it diffuses the following related idea:

“Most people are like automobiles. They can be pushed or pulled along, or they can be moved to action by starting their own motive power within.”

Have I got your own motive power going? Then steer your automobile towards my email newsletter, because I have many more powerful persuasion ideas to share there.

The real heroes are dead

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“As a soldier, Rick Rescorla served in Vietnam, where he earned a Silver Star, a Bronze Star, and also a Purple Heart. When he returned home, Rescorla landed a job as Head of Security for Morgan Stanley. And as you’ll soon see, in many ways, he was the best investment Morgan Stanley ever made.”

I’ve gotten interested in writing financial copy. So as the first step, I started watching financial promos while I eat lunch.

I got going yesterday, with a Stansberry VSL. The hook is the story of a U.S. Army vet named Rick Rescorla… who, the VSL tells you, could end up having an “enormous impact on you, your family, your money, your savings and investments.” And then it leads to the bit about Morgan Stanley and its best investment ever.

“This story sounds familiar,” I said.

“An Army vet… going to work on Wall Street… as Head of Security… where did I read this before?”

I typed a few words into Google. And yep, there it was. First result.

For many decades, the recommended bathroom reading material for copywriters was The National Enquirer. At least so claimed Gene Schwartz, who said:

“That’s why I say that the required medium for you is all the junk magazines in the United States. I would go out tomorrow and get a subscription to The National Enquirer and read every single word in it. That’s your audience. There are your headlines. There are your people and their feelings.”

But the Rick Rescorla story didn’t come from the National Enquirer. So I’d like to give you a different magazine recommendation as new required reading.

I’m talking about The New Yorker.

It’s a snob magazine. If you’re writing sales copy, it’s unlikely to reflect your audience or their feelings.

And yet I recommend it.

Because the New Yorker and its writers manage to dig up obscure stories… find the fascinating implications… and create drama through substance rather than form.

Stansberry’s Rick Rescorla hook came from The New Yorker.

And it’s not the only one.

If you’ve been reading my emails for a while, you know I’ve written about Dan Ferrari’s Genesis sales letter. It tripled response over the control and sold out the entire stock of Green Valley’s telomere supplement.

Dan’s sales letter kicked off with a snapshot. A secret meeting of Hollywood stars and Silicon Valley millionaires… gathered in a Malibu Beach cliffside mansion… to listen to a Nobel-winning scientist reveal her breakthrough research on doing away with death and old age.

That story was true. And it also came from The New Yorker.

“All right Bejako,” I hear you saying. “You almost have me convinced. Two examples is good. But where’s your third example? Don’t know you all copywriting proof comes in threes?”

You got me. I only have the two examples above to give you.

If that’s enough of a pattern for you to work with, then start scanning The New Yorker and checking if some of their stories could be used for your hooks.

And maybe you will be my third example one day… or maybe I will be, because it’s what I’ll start doing.

In any case, if you’d like to read why Rick Rescorla was the best investment Morgan Stanley ever made, follow the link below.

But before you go, consider signing up for my email newsletter, which serves you up with a daily idea or recommendation for improving your marketing or copywriting.

And now, here’s the tight, fascinating, and moving New Yorker article about Rick Rescorla:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2002/02/11/the-real-heroes-are-dead

The copywriting knack that so many lack

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“Thousands of sales have been lost, millions of dollars worth of business have failed to materialize, solely because so few letter-writers have that knack of visualizing a proposition — of painting it in words so the reader can see it as they see it.”
— Robert Collier, The Robert Collier Letter Book

This entire week, I’ve been promoting my “Win Your First Copywriting Job” workshop, which kicks off tomorrow. This is the last email I will send to promote it before I close the cart down tomorrow at 6pm CET.

So rather than letting a single possible sale fly out the window like a loose dollar bill in a gust of wind, let me paint a few pictures in your mind:

First, the picture of you nodding with understanding as I explain how I regularly won 4- and 5-figure copywriting jobs… with a 3-sentence application… and a few targeted samples of my work.

Then the picture of you sitting at your laptop… crafting your own targeted samples… having a lightbulb moment… and working it into your copy.

Then me looking over your shoulder in virtual space, and saying, “I like this part a lot, and here’s how to make this part even better.”

Then you nervously clicking “Send” to email your application and samples to this amazing-sounding copywriting opportunity, which seems out of reach, but you never know…

And finally, your heart beating as you read a reply that says, “Hey thanks for applying to my job. I loved the samples you sent in. It seems like you could be the perfect fit. Do you have time to get on a call tomorrow to talk in more detail?”

That is, imagine all of this IF you choose to take me up on my workshop offer.

Or of course, you can choose to do nothing at all.

In that case, the word paintings will be different.

So imagine walking the streets alone, trying to keep warm while cold wind blows inside your jacket to your ribs and then it starts to rain… scrounging around for loose change in your pockets so you can maybe collect enough for a single coffee… and wondering to yourself, “Had I only taken up John’s workshop offer that one Friday, would I have a well-paying copywriting job right now, instead of being cold, lonely, and without the change for a coffee?”

Ok, maybe that’s a little melodramatic. But dollars are at stake for me… and a momentous life-changing proposition is at stake for you.

So if you want warmth and a jumpstart to your copywriting success… rather than loneliness and cold, empty streets… then have the knack of acting in time, before this offer disappears out the window:

https://bejakovic.com/win-your-first-copywriting-job/

Most people are too busy digging an escape tunnel to notice the cell door is unlocked

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I used to prepare to escape. Away from the office job. Away from the 40-hour workweeks.

But I didn’t experience real freedom until I started preparing less — a lot less.

For example, yesterday I crafted a new offer, with no preparation, in just about two hours from start to finish. With a little luck, it should earn me enough money to cover all my expenses for the next month, maybe longer.

What’s more, I’m going to ask you to send me $197 dollars for this offer, even though it won’t cost me more than a few minutes of my time to fulfill it. And I’ll try to make it so irresistible that you’d be a darned fool not to do it.

After all, why should you care if i make a $197 profit for a few minutes’ work if I can show you how to make a lot more — in just the next week, and in every week after that?

I’ll tell you about the offer in a second. But first, let me address the strange sense of deja vu you might be feeling right now.

Because what you’ve just read is the reworded lead to Joe Karbo’s Lazy Man’s Way to Riches ad.

It’s a famous ad. There is a lot in there. A lot I didn’t see when I first read it. And even a lot I didn’t see for many years after.

For example, here’s one thing always gets me:

In the fifth sentence, Joe admits he’s selling something. Even though he’s formatted his ad to look like a neutral newspaper article.

And then in the seventh sentence, he reveals the price of his offer — and that the price is entirely unrelated to his cost of fulfillment.

It’s a great pattern interrupt.

Because most marketers try to lull you into buying. They think if they hold off long enough, they can hypnotize you so deeply that you won’t mind when the pitch comes.

The trouble with that is, all of us are becoming increasingly sophisticated.

It’s very hard to fool modern consumers into thinking they are not reading an ad when they in fact are.

And people’s reactance to ads — leading to perfectly good sales messages getting tossed out on sight, marked as spam, or simply browsed away from — has never been higher. In fact, it’s increasing.

Which is why it can make sense to disarm your prospect’s skepticism right away — by admitting you are selling something, and maybe even revealing the price.

Which brings me to that $197 offer I mentioned up front.

It’s for my “Win Your First Copywriting Job” workshop, which kicks off this Friday.

Like I said at the start, I used to have an office job. I’d sit there each day, lusting after the kind of freedom I have now. To work when I want… where I want… and as much or as little as I want.

And still, to have as much money as I need.

Fortunately, I was tossed out of my office job and into my first copywriting gig without too much time to prepare, doubt myself, or try to line up everything perfectly.

But perhaps you’ve had the curse of too much time. Perhaps you’ve been studying maps of the terrain… digging your escape tunnel… and waiting for the perfect moment to make your break.

And waiting.

In that case, my workshop might be what you need to escape for real.

The workshop is not a “Lazy Man’s Way to Copywriting Riches.”

​​But if you’re willing to do some work… and if you have a couple basic requirements satisfied… then I can help you open the cell door and take that first step through it. All within the next week.

​​For more info:

https://bejakovic.com/win-your-first-copywriting-job/

“Win your first copywriting job” workshop

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If you are looking to get going as a paid copywriter, here’s an announcement you might find valuable:

This Friday, I’m putting on a spectacular show called Copywriting Portfolio Secrets.

It’s a free bonus for people who signed up for my Copy Riddles program. And it’s all about how to apply for and win copywriting jobs, even if your portfolio is as insubstantial as a cucumber sandwich.

In case you’re curious, here’s the sneak preview trailer for Copywriting Portfolio Secrets:

IN A WORLD…

… where copywriting clients are busy and distracted…

… and where the law of the land is naked self-interest…

… one copywriter stepped forth…

… and found out exactly what one potential client was looking for…

… and then showed the client exactly why he (the copywriter) or she (the copywritress) was it.

“An exciting but unbelievable premise,” you might say. “How could I be exactly what the client is looking for… when I’m a complete noob with with that cucumber sandwich of a portfolio?”

O ye of little faith.
​
It can be done. I know because I’ve done it. Back when I got started with copywriting… and several times since, when I effectively became a noob again by branching out into new industries and new copywriting formats.

Zero relevant experience to start. 4- and 5-figure copywriting jobs as the end result. ​​

So it can be done. That’s the good news. But here’s the trouble:

You might not know how to do it. And unless you signed up for Copy Riddles back in July or back in March, you won’t find out, because Copy Riddles was the ticket that gets you into the feature show that is Copywriting Portfolio Secrets.

At least that’s what I planned on, until today. Today, I decided to make a new offer.

I’m calling it the “Win your first copywriting job” workshop. It includes two parts:

1. The Copywriting Portfolio Secrets presentation on Friday

2. My one-on-one guidance so you actually implement everything inside the presentation, and so you can actually win your first copywriting job

In case you’re starting to feel a little warm right now, here are a few warnings to cool you off:

The “Win your first copywriting job” workshop is not free.

It is also not done-for-you.

Instead, it is rather expensive, and it is done-with-you.

So if those facts don’t turn you off right away, you have until Friday 6pm CET to decide whether you’d like to sign up to my “Win your first copywriting job” workshop and get on the path to being a paid copywriter.

​​And if you’d like to join, or if you’d like more details to help you decide, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/win-your-first-copywriting-job

Self-serving horror advertorial funnel

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I’m not a natural when it comes to marketing of business. So I have to methodically and consciously do those things that might be obvious to others. As an example of what I mean, here’s a story that Dan Kennedy told about a coaching client who no longer liked Dan’s advice:

This coaching client followed all of Dan’s marketing advice.

​​As a result, the client became booked months ahead of time… he had a steady pipeline of new work… and he couldn’t handle any more business than he already had.

“In other words,” Dan once said in front of a crowded room, “this guy didn’t have a marketing problem any more. He had a capacity problem. So what do you think I told him to do? That’s right! I told him to raise his prices. Drive away some of his current clients. Create a vacuum. Then he would have a marketing problem again, and that’s one I know how to solve!”

Like I said, Dan’s coaching client didn’t like this advice. Maybe it wasn’t what he was hoping for. Or maybe it seemed self-serving.

At least that’s the lesson I got from it:

If you’re in business, then the advice you dole out should be self-serving. In other words, don’t offer advice on problems that you cannot fix.

Obvious, right?​​

For example, maybe your problem is that you don’t have enough front-end sales. So if you like, let me offer a bit of advice.

Write what I call a horror advertorial. This is a first-person story that looks and reads like a blog post… full of misery, drama, and suspense… which ties into your offer.

Run Facebook ads, whether text ads or video ads, to your horror advertorial.

Link the advertorial to an offer page that gives all features and benefits of your offer.

And that’s it. Do this process reasonably well, and you will get more front-end sales than you can handle.

For example, the main clients I worked with for over two years used this model over and over. At the high point, they were doing 2,000 front-end sales a day, just by cloning this same funnel for different offers.

More recently, I helped a supplement company with a squeaky-clean image implement this same horror advertorial funnel. As a result, they went from $2k a day in profitable ad spend… to $12k a day.

What’s that?

You don’t like this advice? You don’t think it will work for you? It seems self-serving?

I can understand. But it’s all I got.

On the other hand, if more front-end sales is something you lust after… and the horror advertorial funnel sounds like something you could profit from… well, then that’s a problem I know how to solve. As a first step, sign up for my email newsletter. And then we can talk.

The only two (plus one) points of your copy that people really care about

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I spent today sweating… smiling feebly at other people… and making lame jokes and wondering what I’d gotten myself into.

A weeklong sailing course, that’s what. On a boat, the whole seven days. Except today was the first day, so all we did was sit in the harbor and talk theory.

Theory. How to. For an entire day. ​​

That means I shifted around the deck to catch a bit of shade and to minimize the chances of heat stroke…

I nodded while meaningless nautical terms flew in one ear and out the other…

And I stifled a scream of desperation, just as it looked like we were done for the day, when yet another of my fellow students asked yet another question to clear things up and appear smart. And then watched with even more shock and horror as a followup question flew out of my own mouth also.

Tomorrow we’re supposed to go sailing, but I’m not feeling very excited. The theory day killed it for me.

“Why didn’t they take us out for a little tour first?,” I thought to myself. “It’s a lesson for the future. When I create an experience for people, I’ll make sure the first experience an entertaining demonstration.”

Except maybe it doesn’t matter all that much. Because I read in a psychology book that when human beings evaluate an experience, they only look at two points:

The emotional highlight… and the end.

Which means a weeklong cruise gets reduced to that run-in with the topless French twins in that hidden lagoon… and the quality of the lunch on the last day as you’re pulling back into harbor.

But in any case, the point stands:

When you create an experience, whether that’s a sales letter… a newsletter email… or a course… a few points carry an immoderate amount of weight:

1. The end.

2. The emotional highlight.

3. And the beginning. In the special case, that is, that your audience can walk or swim out of the experience you’re crafting.

Why adults crave drama so much

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I’m not sure I could do this every day. Or that I would want to.

I spent today maneuvering a tiny little sailboat. Sun sea wind.

I am more physically tired now than that time 10 years ago, when I thought it was a good idea to start going to a boxing gym.

But after three days of supposed “sailing” over the past week, which involved either a complete lack of wind or a complete lack of control, I got both wind and some control today. I even hung my ass out of the boat and lay down almost flat on top of the waves, two thirds of me hanging off the side, to keep the thing from capsizing. It worked.

(I still ended up capsizing a few times. They tell me that’s normal.)

But let me get to the point:

​​I’m glad I’m making progress handling the boat. But I’m not sure I could do this every day. I’m too adult. ​​This craving for speed and the spending of physical energy is a kids’ game. I’d rather read a book or watch a movie.

Which brings me to a valuable quote I want to share with you.

​​It’s from playwright David Mamet, who wrote a book about drama that all copywriters should read. (Itsa called Three Uses of the Knife.)

And in the book, David gives the following bit, which is both a rare explanation for why we adults crave drama so much… as well as a reminder to put it in your copy — or suffer the consequences:

“Children jump around at the end of the day, to expend the last of that day’s energy. The adult equivalent, when the sun goes down, is to create or witness drama — which is to say, to order the universe into a comprehensible form. Our sundown play/film/gossip is the day’s last exercise of that survival mechanism. In it we attempt to discharge any residual perceptive energies in order to sleep. We will have drama in that spot, and if it’s not forthcoming we will cobble it together out of nothing.”

Free business idea: 9 Chambers of Pain

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Here’s a free business idea for you to run with, if you so choose:

Just a little over a week ago, a new study was published by scientists at the University of Pittsburgh.

They studied over 21,000 patients who came for treatment at pain management clinics around Pittsburgh.

The scientists measured these poor people… probed them… interrogated them… and then fed all this data into a large tube-based computer.

And then they waited.

36 days later, the computer printed out a result:

There are exactly 9 types of chronic pain.

Such as group F (lower back pain radiating below the knee)… and group D (upper and lower back pain).

Each group varied in the location of pain… the severity of pain… as well as in the severity of other problems that went with the pain, like depression and anxiety.

So here’s my business idea for you:

You create a quiz. “Which unique type explains your chronic pain?”

People go through the quiz. You categorize them into one of 9 groups, based on their physical and emotional symptoms. For extra points, you can give it a Wu Tang flavor, and call it the 9 Chambers of Pain.

And then what?

Then you sell them something that helps them. It can be your own offer or an affiliate offer. For example:

Any kind of anti-inflammation supplement…

Or a course on meditation techniques…

Or a visit to a chiropractic clinic or some kind of other physical restructuring.

And here’s the incredible thing:

You can sell the same thing to all 9 groups. Of course, you say something like,

“Based on your unique scientifically-proven pain type… we recommend a free + shipping bottle of our doctor-formulated turmeric dust.”

As I’ve written before, this quiz => same offer funnel works like magic.

Because people like to feel unique… because they want a new understanding of their chronic problem… and because they aren’t very skeptical or critical when they get this new understanding.

Which is why RealDose Nutrition, the first big-name direct response company I ever worked with, built an 8-figure business in record time on the back of exactly the model I’ve just described to you.

And now, if you like, you can start doing the same. You already have the entire marketing concept. All you need is to decide which helpful product you want to sell… and to be quick, so other people don’t swipe this idea from right in front of your nose.

To end:

If you’d like more Wu Tang-flavored business idea, you best protect ya neck and sign up to my email newsletter here.