Copywriting

You see it, but you don’t really see it

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A few days ago, Andy Griffiths, who publishes a newsletter about newsletter formats, wrote up an issue about email marketer Ben Settle. The most interesting bit came in the last sentence:

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I sent Ben Settle a few questions. He declined to answer, saying anyone could work out his business model by deduction. That’s true. It’s all there in the emails.

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But is it really?

I doubt Ben really believes that. He runs an info publishing business telling people exactly what’s really going on in his free emails, underneath the surface.

This extra information is worth paying for, and a lot. Ben’s info publishing business started pulling in $1M/year a few years back. Today it’s probably higher.

So the question becomes:

How can anybody sell something that’s out there for free?

It’s because you see it… but you don’t really see it. A-list copywriter John Carlton put it this way:

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The ads you see in the wild are finished products. All the work that went into creating that finished product is invisible. There’s no “infrastructure” to an ad, no curtain to peek behind once it’s posted or printed.

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Except of course there is a curtain to peek behind.

You can pay Ben Settle to find out how he runs his email marketing business — how he got you to pay him to find out how he got you to pay him.

You can also pay me to find out how A-list copywriters, like John Carlton above, wrote some of their most lucrative ads, and how you might be able to do something similar.

​​I worked it all out by deduction — well, not really. I had a secret resource at my disposal.

You can find out the details of that secret resource on the page below, which is the sales page for my Copy Riddles program.

For now, I will just say that today is the last day can get two free bonuses I have long offered with Copy Riddles.

The first bonus is Storytelling For Sales. The second bonus is Copywriting Portfolio Secrets.

Don’t buy Copy Riddles just for the free bonuses.

But if you decide you want to get Copy Riddles, you have until tonight at 12 midnight PST to get Storytelling for Sales and Copywriting Portfolio Secrets as free bonuses.

That’s just a few short hours away, and this will be my last email before the deadline. ​​

Once the deadline passes, Copy Riddles will remain available, but the free bonuses will disappear. My plan is to flesh them out and turn them into paid upsells for Copy Riddles.

To get the whole package before then:

https://bejakovic.com/cr/

Billion-dollar psychology lessons for cheap

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“Look at what they’ve done to you. I’m so sorry. You must be dead… because I don’t know how to feel. I can’t feel anything any more. You’ve gone someplace else now.”

You recognize that?

​​It’s from E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. One of the biggest movies of all time. And an incredibly valuable resource — if you only know when to stop watching.

When I was a kid, around age five, my eyes bulged out each time my parents took me past the main movie theater in town.

​​For some reason, the ​theater​ still showed the marquee for E.T., even though the movie had stopped playing years earlier.

I was too young to see E.T. when it came out. And I suffered for years, seeing that marquee. I wanted to watch the movie so bad — a real life alien! On Earth! Makes friends with a little boy and turns the boy’s bike into a flying machine!

It’s everything my 5-year-old self wanted in life. But the movie was no longer in theaters, and there was no VHS either.

So a few years ago, fully grown and rather jaded, I downloaded E.T. to finally heal this childhood wound, and to see why this Spielberg fantasy is called the #24 greatest film of all time.

Unfortunately, the moment has passed.

I couldn’t really get into E.T. But I did get some use out of it.

​​That scene above. Let me repeat it in case you didn’t read:

“Look at what they’ve done to you. I’m so sorry. You must be dead… because I don’t know how to feel. I can’t feel anything any more. You’ve gone someplace else now.”​​

That’s when E.T. dies, about nine-tenths of the way through the movie. And the boy, Elliott, who had a psychic link with E.T. and who has felt everything E.T. has felt, suddenly cannot feel anything any more.

I can imagine that when E.T. played in movie theaters, both the kids and the parents choked up at this point.

​​The kids, because the cute little extraterrestrial is dead.

​​The parents, because they felt on some level this scene might be about their childhood dreams, hopes, and capacity for joy and wonder… which have been drained out of them as they grew up and became adults.

And then of course, in the movie, E.T. comes back to life and everything works out just fine. Which is the insight I want to leave you with today.

If a story reaches mass popularity — E.T., Fight Club, Bad Santa — it’s because it makes people vibrate.

The thing is, social order must be maintained. That’s why each mass-market story either has a happy ending (if the characters were deep-down deserving) or a moral to be learned (if they were not).

Don’t let that fool you.

Market-proven tear-jerkers like E.T. can really show you true human nature — if you don’t wait until the end. The end is just tacked on to muddy the waters. But the psychology lesson is all the emotional buildup that happens before the turnaround.

That buildup shows you how people really are. Those are the real problems and desires people respond to, and that’s what you should speak to. Everything else is just Hollywood.

Meanwhile, in an alternate cinematic universe:

I’d like to remind you that this is the last week I am giving away two free bonuses with my Copy Riddles program. The first bonus is Storytelling For Sales. The second bonus is Copywriting Portfolio Secrets.

Don’t buy Copy Riddles just for the free bonuses.

But if you decide you want to get Copy Riddles, you have until Saturday Jan 21 at 12 midnight PST to get Storytelling for Sales and Copywriting Portfolio Secrets as free bonuses.

That’s just two days away. ​​

Once the deadline passes, Copy Riddles will remain available, but the free bonuses will disappear.

To get the whole package:

https://bejakovic.com/cr/

What never to swallow at the start of your newsletter

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No, I’m not talking about swallowing your pride. Read on because it’s important.

​​Last night I was reviewing a newsletter. The newsletter was full of valuable content, but the author didn’t try to sell me on that content in any way. He meant for it to sell itself.

This brought to mind something I heard marketing wizard Dan Kennedy say:

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We sometimes take the attention of the people with whom we communicate with all the time for granted. That they will give us attention because of who we are and our relationship with them. It’s a bad presumption. It was not a bad presumption a decade ago when there weren’t as many of us showing up every day, asking for their attention. But now there’s a lot more of us showing up every day, asking for their attention. And so we gotta earn it, every single time.

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If you’re anything like me, then your brain will try to feed you excuses, all day long, just because it wants to stop thinking. It will say:

“They opted​​ in to my newsletter. They expressed interest. They want to hear what I have to say.”

“They like my persona. They read my emails in the past. They bought stuff from me!”

“​​I’m sure they will read this too. It’s good enough.”

​Don’t swallow your brain’s excuses. ​Don’t take your readers attention for granted. That’s not good enough.

Not if you want the best chance to influence people, to present yourself as an authority, to get your readers to buy or share or do whatever it is you’re after.
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The more closely people read your stuff, the more of your story and your arguments they swallow, the more you manage to spike their emotions in the minutes they spend with your content, the better it is for you. And in a way, for them.

As a Big Pharma salesman might tell you, the most expensive drug is the one that doesn’t work.

And as I, a Big Copy salesman, will tell you, the most expensive 3 seconds for your reader are clicking on your email and skimming straight through to the end because he’s not properly engaged. That’s 3 seconds wasted for nothing.

On the other hand, 3 or 13 minutes reading every word you wrote because you sold it properly ahead of time — that can be both valuable and enjoyable.

So how do you pre-sell your valuable content?

That knowledge is something I don’t pre-sell. That’s something I sell.

Specifically, that’s what I sell inside my Copy Riddles program. In case you’re interested:

Copy Riddles shows you A-list copywriters sell and pre-sell valuable but dry information. But Copy Riddles does much more. It gets you doing the same.

This doesn’t mean you have to go all John Carlton on your newsletter readers.

You can be subtle or savage in the way you pre-sell your content and your information. It’s your choice.

What is not your choice is how people’s brains work, and what kinds of messages they respond to. And the most condensed and powerful way to create messages that people respond to is inside Copy Riddles.

As I mentioned two days ago, this is the last week I am giving away two free bonuses with Copy Riddles. The first bonus is Storytelling For Sales. The second bonus is Copywriting Portfolio Secrets.

Don’t buy Copy Riddles just for the free bonuses.

But if you decide you want to get Copy Riddles, you have until Saturday Jan 21 at 12 midnight PST to get Storytelling for Sales and Copywriting Portfolio Secrets as free bonuses.

After then, Copy Riddles will remain available, but the free bonuses will disappear.

To get the whole package:

https://bejakovic.com/cr/

Barcelona man discovers the secret of how to escape the online rat race

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“It was unbelievable. One day he’s driving around in a rusted out ’68 Pontiac station wagon, living in an uncarpeted house that didn’t even have a color T.V., and struggling to make ends meet like the rest of us. The next day he’s driving in a brand new Lincoln Mark, a brand new Mercury station wagon, a $35,000 GMC motor home, his house is fixed up like a palace, and he’s traveling all over the country.”

This morning I read an old but gold business opportunity ad.

The ad ran across a full page of newspapers, in tightly crammed print. I imagine the entire thing was 3,000 words or more.

This ad is a master class. If you are doing email marketing today, particularly if you sell yourself and your expertise and your authority and your trustworthiness, this ad is worth studying, thinking about, and emulating in your own email copy.

​​You can easily find versions of this ad by googling for the headline:

“Ohio Man Discovers the Secret of How to Escape the American Rat Race”

The Ohio man in question is marketer Ben Suarez. The secret in question is a system Suarez called NPGS.

​​Once upon a time, you could discover the NPGS secret if you mailed a check for $20 to get Suarez’s book, 7 Steps to Freedom.

A little-known fact about me is that I live in Barcelona in a hipster neighborhood called Poblenou.

An even lesser-known fact is that a few years ago, before I started living in Barcelona’s Poblenou, I went on a used-book website and actually bought Ben Suarez’s 7 Steps to Freedom.

I did it because it was one of the books recommended somewhere by Gary Halbert in his newsletter.

Suarez’s book arrived to my house. It is the size of a comprehensive dictionary and weighs as much as a brick. Over many hundreds of pages, it lays out Suarez’s NPGS system — basically how to run a successful mail-order business.

As you can probably guess, I never got beyond the table of contents in 7 Steps to Freedom. I bet that 99.9% of other people who bought this book didn’t get any further.

No matter.

Because as another Ohio bizopp marketer, Dan Kennedy, once said, people want miracles, not how-to information.

So if you want to escape the online rat race of endless content creation that never turns into much cash, here’s the secret:

Give people what they want. Miracles, and not how-to information.

This is why I organized my Copy Riddles program as I did.

Sure, Copy Riddles features some how-to information. That was unavoidable.

​​But the main thing inside Copy Riddles are the repetitive daily exercises, which I claim implant A-list copywriting skills into your brain, will ye or nill ye.

That’s not just an empty claim I’m making. Here’s proof for it, in the words of freelance copywriter Ivan Sršen, who went through Copy Riddles a while back:

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Before John’s Copy Riddles training, I knew about the problem mechanism… and I knew about the solution mechanism. In fact, I knew about around 60% of the stuff he teaches in this course. But I was still like a deer in headlights. Only after going through Copy Riddles… after applying all this that I ‘knew’ in daily exercises, did it all click together. My bullets — and my understanding of copy mechanics — are light years ahead of where they were after a few short weeks.

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If you’d like to experience a miraculous transformation in your understanding of copy, you can find out more about Copy Riddles at the link below.

As I mentioned in my email yesterday, this is the last week I am giving away two free bonuses with Copy Riddles. The first bonus is Storytelling For Sales. The second bonus is Copywriting Portfolio Secrets.

Don’t buy Copy Riddles just for the free bonuses.​​

But if you decide you want to get Copy Riddles, you have until Saturday Jan 21 at 12 midnight PST to get Storytelling for Sales and Copywriting Portfolio Secrets as free bonuses.
​
After then, Copy Riddles will remain available, but the free bonuses will disappear.​​​​

To get the whole package:​​

https://bejakovic.com/cr/

Free course on advertorials

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A couple days ago, I got an email with the subject line, “Your Future Mentee.” I sighed, hung my head, and clicked to open the email. It read:

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I am a 25 year old entrepreneur who dropped out of medical school to pursue my dream of starting a business in the e-commerce industry.

I have been dropshipping for the past 2.5 years and have done over half a million in revenue so far. I recently came across “advertorials” and it instantly grabbed my attention.

After a bunch of research on Youtube I realized I could barely find technical videos showing exactly how to create advertorials for e-commerce/dropshipping stores.

Through browsing many videos on Youtube, I came across an interview you did on the “Chase Diamond Email Marketing” channel and the information you provided in the short 18 minutes helped me a ton.

I am extremely eager to start testing products on Facebook through advertorials and I was hoping you could guide me through the process a bit. I promise to not take too much of your time.

Please let me know if you have any availability for a brief zoom call so I can further introduce myself. I can also gladly communicate through email if that is easier for you.

Looking forward to your reply!

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Oh boy. Where to start? How about a free course on advertorials:

Between 2018 and 2021, I wrote dozens of five-page advertorials. These advertorials sold tens of millions of dollars of random ecomm products to cold Facebook and YouTube traffic. Supplements, shoe insoles, portable smoothie blenders.

After I got in the groove, it took me about a week to write each advertorial. A week might seem like a long time to write five pages, but four days of that went to research.

Research is something that apparently nobody else is willing to do.

In fact, in that Chase Dimond podcast episode, I mocked other advertorials that were running and not making sales. I know they weren’t making sales because my clients and I tested them. They weren’t making sales because were so clearly unbelievable — because the copywriter pulled them out of his head instead of doing research.

And so the first lesson of my free advertorial course is to thoroughly research anybody you are attempting to sell.

That lesson might seem obvious to you. But it certainly wasn’t obvious to my would-be future mentee.

For example, had my future mentee wanted to have a good chance to persuade me to become his mentor, he could have done some research on me first.

He could have searched on my website and read a few of the 1,400+ earlier emails I have written.

He could have found out I sell courses, and not for cheap, and I am therefore not likely to give away specific how-to information for free.

He could have found out I also offer a coaching program, and I don’t mentor new people unless they meet very specific criteria, and pay me a good deal of money to boot.

He could have found out that I have a sizeable and growing email list, that my days are eaten up by writing my daily emails, by creating new offers, by responding to paying customers, by delivering paid coaching, on top of my other projects, which I hint at from time to time.

In other words, with adequate research, this guy could have figured out that I am a terrible prospect for a “future mentee” whose big selling point is that he promises not to take too much of my time.

You might think I’m picking on a poor guy who is asking for help. That’s not my intent. I’m just trying to illustrate the shallowness of the persuasion that most people, including marketers, engage in by default.

And if you want a suitcase to float on as the Titanic sinks and all the other mice struggle in the cold water around you… then as the first step, do more work, and in particular, do more research than others are doing.

At this point, you might be worried that this is the end of my free course in advertorials.

But wait. There’s more.

Had my future mentee done a tiny bit more research, he would have come across my Copy Riddles program.

He would have found I currently offer a free bonus to go with Copy Riddles. That bonus is called Storytelling for Sales. It’s based on my experience writing all those advertorials.

Storytelling for Sales not a long training, and it is not an A-Z of ecommerce advertorial writing.

But along with Step 1: Research™, this Step 2: Storytelling for Sales covers 95% of what made my advertorials so effective, and of how I spent my time writing them.

Like I said, Storytelling for Sales is currently a free bonus for Copy Riddles.

But I will take it down at the end of this week, along with the other free bonus, Copywriting Portfolio Secrets. My plan is to flesh these bonuses out and turn them into paid upsells for Copy Riddles.

Don’t buy Copy Riddles just for the Storytelling for Sales free bonus.

But if you decide you want to get Copy Riddles, you have until Saturday Jan 21 at 12 midnight PST to get Storytelling for Sales and Copywriting Portfolio Secrets as free bonuses.

After then, Copy Riddles will remain available, but the free bonuses will disappear.

To get the whole package:

https://bejakovic.com/cr

Daniel Throssell, Daniel Kahneman, and a robot lawyer walk into a bar…

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A few minutes ago, I got my coffee ready, I set my timer, and I got down to writing this email. As a first step, I checked some news headlines and bingo — I saw it:

“AI-powered ‘robot’ lawyer will be first of its kind to represent defendant in court”

Maybe you’ve heard the news already. A startup called DoNotPay is helping people fight speeding tickets.

Before, DoNotPay used AI to write a letter that you could mail in to contest your speeding ticket. But now, DoNotPay will help one lucky defendant in court.

The DoNotPay app will run on the defendant’s phone. It will listen in to the court proceedings. And it will tell the defendant what to say to get out of his speeding ticket in court.

“This courtroom stuff is more advocacy,” said Joshua Browder, the CEO of DoNotPay. “It’s more to encourage the system to change.” Browder says he wants to give access to law to people who can’t afford it.

As you might guess, this noble mission isn’t very popular with lawyers themselves.

When Browder tweeted about his new courtroom “robot”, lawyers jumped on him, and threatened he would go to jail if he followed through with this plan.

And verily, a courtroom robot is not legal in most places. In most places, all parties have to agree to be recorded. But I doubt good will and keeping Browder out of jail is why lawyers jumped all over Browder’s tweet, telling him to stop this project immediately.

Lawyers still have a bit of time.

Right now, courtroom AI robots just handle speeding tickets. And Browder admits even that took a lot of work.

His company had to retrain generic AI for this specialized task. “AI is a high school student,” Browder said, “and we’re sending it to law school.”

Law school… and then what? because Being a good lawyer is not just about knowing the letter of the law.

Specifically, I have in mind a passage I read in Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow.

Kahneman says there are two fundamental ways lawyers argue.

These two ways are actually illustrated perfectly in the little debate Daniel Throssell and I had last week, in emails talking about newsletters and who wants ’em.

So I will make you an offer right now, which you are free to refuse, in case you’d rather go read Thinking Fast and Slow yourself.

My offer is a disappearing bonus.

It’s good until 8pm CET/2pm EST/11am PSST tomorrow, Thursday, Jan 12 2023.

If you’ve already bought my Most Valuable Email course, and would like me to spell out Kahneman’s two lawyer strategies, write me before the deadline and ask.

​​I will write back to you, both with Kahneman’s passage, and the specifics of how Daniel and I each took one of the two approaches.

And if you haven’t bought my Most Valuable Email course, then my offer is the same, except you have to also buy the course before the deadline.

Buy just to get the bonus?
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If you find yourself desirous of the disappearing bonus, but reluctant to buy a course just to get that bonus, then I will argue that desire itself is a reason to get MVE.

​​Because this desire is something you too can create in others. It’s something I talk about in the course itself, specifically inside the 12 Rules of Most Valuable Emails, specifically Rule #10.

For more info on this course, or to get it before the deadline:

https://bejakovic.com/mve/

Who today remembers Ragged Dick?

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I was very grateful to find out the following fact just now:

Today being January 13, it is the birthday of Horatio Alger, one of the most popular and influential American writers of all time.

Starting with Ragged Dick in 1868, Alger published almost a hundred novels. They were all exactly the same — but readers didn’t mind.

Each of Alger’s novels starred a poor and luckless boy, who managed to stay afloat through honesty, hard work, and perseverance.

Eventually, following a noble act, the boy would be brought to the attention of a wealthy patron. The patron gave the boy his lucky break, setting him on the path to success and security.

It was good story for 19th-century America. That’s why it could be told over and over again.

Today, of course, nobody remembers Ragged Dick. Nobody reads Horatio Alger any more.

It takes somebody like me, an email columnist a little desperate for a daily email topic, to even bring up the fact that today is Alger’s birthday, and to tell you something interesting about the man. Such as the following haiku:

Rags-to-riches theme,
Urban tales of working class,
Alger’s legacy.

In case you are wondering what I’m getting at, I’ll admit that Alger’s story makes me think of the mysterious question of fame, and who gets it and who gets to keep it for more than a few years.

Alger sold some 20 million copies of his books in his time. But just a few years after his death, surveys showed that few kids had ever heard of him.

But — and maybe I am naive, and maybe I have bought into the Horatio Alger myth too much — I feel that today is a moment of opportunity as good as 19th-century America. Maybe better. And Alger’s stories, outdated as they are, remain emotionally relevant.

Ragged Dick was a bootblack.

If Dick lived today, I imagine he would join the creator economy, and maybe start a free email newsletter. Through honesty, hard work, and perseverance, he would toil away on his newsletter until he got his lucky break, which would set him on the path to success and security.

Maybe you don’t buy into my Ragged Dick daydream. And maybe this entire email isn’t relevant to you.

But if by chance you are starting a free email newsletter, or in case you’ve already got one, then you might want to know about my Most Valuable Email.

For more info on that:

https://bejakovic.com/mve/

Bare metal: Poor single mom risks death to feed her family

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A couple days ago, I sent out an email about charging out, King Arthur-like, to fight dragons on the borders of your kingdom. That was my metaphor for defending your business interests.

I got lots of interesting replies to that email, and none more so than from Shawn Cartwright. Shawn runs TCCII, an online martial arts academy. He wrote:

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While I sympathize with your position on this, I’d just like to ask this question…

Why are dragons always made out to be the bad guys?

Seriously…

Imagine you were the millenia old beast who woke up one day to find a bunch of unwashed simian descendants using your pristine mountain stream as a latrine?

Or erecting god-awful ugly structures made from your trees they took without so much as a please or thank you.

And shot at you when you went down to have a little chat with them to sort it out.

And then organized some sort of genocidal campaign to eradicate you and take all your stuff.

Is it any wonder they might be a little ill-tempered?

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Shawn asks a great question. In response to it, my mind jumped to a tense scene from the 2015 Disney documentary, Monkey Kingdom.

The scene shows a tiny and cute macaque monkey dangling from a vine a few inches above some murky water.

This monkey is a single mother, the narrator tells you. But not only that. She’s also at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

Higher-caste females are safe up in a tree eating figs. But even though there’s plenty to go around, these higher-caste females are not willing to share any food with the low-born single mom.

So she is forced to roam deep into the jungle to feed her family. That’s why she’s now dangling above the murky water, so she can harvest some water lily seeds.

And then the scene shifts. It suddenly shows a monitor lizard.

The lizard is huge. It’s seven feet long, three or four times the size of the tiny monkey mom.

The lizard is ugly. It’s thick and black and scaly, with a long flame-like tongue flickering in and out of its mouth.

And worst of all, the lizard is treacherous. At first it’s lurking at the edge of the water. But then it slips in silently, and swims under the surface to where the water lilies are.

So why are dragons always made out to be the bad guys?

Because our race and their race have been at war since time immemorial. Because this feeling is baked into us. Because it’s bare-metal.

Bare-metal is my term for the fact that if you keep asking why long enough, you eventually always get to the answer, just because. Because it’s how we humans are. Because it’s right, whether or not it’s historically fair to the dragons, whether or not it makes sense in today’s world.

If you want to influence people, then write about bare-metal topics.

It’s not just slimy, treacherous serpents.

I gave you a few other bare-metal topics above, in that monkey scene setup. But there are many more.

I rewatched Monkey Kingdom last night. And because I’ve become obsessive through writing this newsletter, I took notes every minute or two.

I found 40+ bare metal topics in Monkey Kingdom. They are brilliantly illustrated because it’s monkeys. Monkeys are close enough to us to be relevant, but different enough to illustrate each bare-metal topic distinctly.

So my advice to you is, watch Monkey Kingdom. And take notes.

If I ever create my mythical AIDA School, this movie will be a part of the first-semester curriculum.

And now for something completely different:

Specifically, my Most Valuable Email course.

That course is connected in some way to today’s email, though only lightly.

That don’t change the fact that, as the name of it says, this course is about a type of email that has been most valuable for me.

If you also write about marketing or persuasion or copywriting, this type of email might be just as valuable for you.

To find out more about it — and about love, death, and politics — go here:

https://bejakovic.com/mve/

There’s a new railroad across America, and it’s turning some copywriters into firemen

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I woke up this morning to an email from an old client:

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Hey John, happy new year!

We’re seeing a lot of growth again in [his wife’s] business… you totally nailed the voice and tone last time, wondering if you’d be interested in revisiting that engagement?

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The fact is, I didn’t totally nail the voice last time. Not even close.

I even wrote an email in this newsletter about that miserable experience, with the subject line, “My so-called life as a 32-year-old Brazilian female fitness model.”

In that email, I said it was impossible for me to really mimic somebody’s voice, at least in daily emails, at least to an audience who genuinely knows that person.

Pretending to be a 32-year-old Brazilian fitness model, I spent 15 minutes writing each email, and another 30-40 minutes massaging the emojis and Instagram inspiration buzzwords and agonizing whether something was just important! or really super important!!!

I hated the process.

But things have changed in the past two years. And if my old client thought I nailed the voice last time, he would be amazed now.

Because after I got his message, I clambered into my connection pod, plugged the metal cables into the back of my skull, and initiated a telepathic conversation with the General Networked Intelligence. I asked it:

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Rewrite the following in the tone of a peppy, enthusiastic, 32-year-old female Instagram fitness model, who loves using emojis and a few words in all caps: It’s important to be healthy and fit. But what’s equally as important is to feel good about yourself, not to compare yourself to others, to enjoy each day without worrying about living up to a standard. And that’s what I want to do for you.

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In an instant, the Great Networked Intelligence replied with the following:

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“💪 Hey friends! Staying FIT AND HEALTHY is super important, but it’s not just about hitting the gym and eating right 🥗 It’s about FEELING GOOD IN YOUR OWN SKIN, not comparing yourself to others 🙅‍, and ENJOYING EACH DAY TO THE FULLEST 🌞 That’s what I’m all about, and that’s what I want to help you achieve 🙌 Let’s make every day POSITIVE, HEALTHY, AND HAPPY together! 🤗”

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This is pretty close to perfect. Maybe a tiny bit over the top, but as copywriter John Carlton likes to say, better start with extreme inspirational fluff and dial it back a notch, than try to squeeze a pizza-slice emoji into an unenthusiastic and limp Instagram post.

And then, suddenly, I had a vision.

I saw a 19th-century steam locomotive, a huge and ugly engine spewing smoke and eating up the American landscape.

​​Inside that locomotive was a small, sweaty, sooty man, shoveling coal into the blazing fire that drives the great steam engine on.

But what do you call that small, sweaty, sooty man? I never knew the term. No matter. As soon as I had that thought, without speaking a word, I immediately had the response:

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A person who shovels coal on a locomotive is typically called a “fireman” or “stoker.” The fireman is responsible for maintaining the fire in the locomotive’s furnace, which generates steam to power the engine.

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So there you go. There’s a new railroad across America, and it’s turning some copywriters into firemen. Maybe some of those firemen will get very rich.

Anyways, you might wonder if I have any bigger point to this email besides that you can now quickly and cheaply imitate the voice and tone of Instagram fitness models.

I do have a bigger point. But this email is getting long, and several other steam locomotives demand my attention. So I will tell you the bigger point in my email tomorrow, in case you are interested. If you’d like to read that email when it comes out, click here to sign up for my daily email newsletter.

I made a lot of mistakes in my copywriting career, for example:

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1. In my early days, I worked with OH, who loved meetings, pushing me around like his secretary, and telling me how it’s going to be, to the point where I had trouble falling asleep because I was so insulted and angry

2. In my late days, I worked with SA on a commission-only job, which involved a ton of preparation, the frustration of writing daily emails in his voice, and which paid me nothing, in spite of promises of a huge profit share from his million-name-plus email list

3. I wrote cold emails for any business that would pay me, until I figured out no amount of copywriting hacks will compensate for the fact that a generic offer targeted at uninterested leads will not sell

4. I wrote a weak lead for RealDose’s probiotics sales letter, they rightly dragged their feet on it, and it never ran

5. I started a daily email newsletter twice before, and I stopped and deleted all the archives twice before finally starting writing daily emails for good, which you are reading now

6. I spent the first six months of my professional copywriting career thinking I had learned all there is to learn about copywriting, since I had read Joe Sugarman’s Adweek book and Gary Halbert’s Boron Letters. During that time, I didn’t crack open a single copywriting book or listen to a single training, and I made a bunch of screaming mistakes as a result

7. I didn’t formally collect endorsements, testimonials, or client success case studies

8. I worked with WT, who thought the answer to every copywriting and marketing problem is to apply the AIDA formula, and who exploded in anger when I suggested otherwise, and who translated my innocent comment about not having to fit everything into AIDA into an attack on the value of his MBA education (no joke)

9. I wrote a seventh and final batch of emails for a real estate investing fund out of Chicago. They had paid me for all the previous emails, and on time. They never paid me for this final batch. To date, they are the only client who has ever shafted me for anything

10. I did not take a moment every three months to ask myself, “What have I learned to do pretty well over the past three months?” and then package up that new expertise into a presentation or a mini-course or a little report I could sell, both to make a bit of money, and to build up a lot of status

There are many more mistakes I made. No matter. I learned, quickly or eventually.

I stopped working with clients who didn’t suit me. I became obsessive about studying and improving my skills. In time, I even started thinking about how I present myself, and now just what I can do.

All of which is to say, I don’t really regret making any of the mistakes above, or any of the countless other mistakes I made in my freelance copywriting career.

Except one.

There’s one mistake I regret it because I persisted in it for so long.

I regret it because it cost me so much, both in terms of the kinds of work I missed out on, and the piles of money that blew off in the wind.

And really, I regret it because it would have been so easy to fix, had I only kept one thing in mind.

That one thing is the topic of my Most Valuable Postcard #1, which is available for purchase right now.

But I am only making this offer to people who are currently signed up to my email newsletter. To get on my newsletter, so you can take advantage of this offer, click here and fill out the form that appears.