Business Of Copy

A real-life Joker triggered my Spidey sense today

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I had a surreal experience today:

I heard a well-known, madly successful guru tell his origin story in a semi-private setting. It all sounded very credible except — only a few days earlier, I had heard him tell the same origin story in another semi-private setting. And the critical details were completely different.

It felt like the scene in The Dark Knight, where the Joker explains how he became the Joker because his daddy cut him up when he was a kid… and then a while later in the movie, he says he became the Joker because he slashed himself up with a razor blade to please his wife.

I’m not sure if the guru in question really was lying. But it’s certainly possible.

Because there are genuine psychos in the business world. And my guess is they are over-represented in the rogues’ gallery of successful gurus, particularly in various marketing and “make money” niches.

Only, unlike in comic books, these real-life psychos don’t dress like the Joker and don’t telegraph their psychopathy with a mad grin. Quite the opposite. As copywriter John Carlton once wrote:

“First, don’t get fooled by people with impeccable manners and loads of charm. I’ve run into more than my share of sociopaths in life, and I’ve actually enjoyed being around them (before I realized what I was dealing with)… These hard-core mofo’s are tough to identify, because they’re good at lying… and good at telling you what they think you want to hear. They’re like ‘Human Whisperers’… they observe humans the way horse whisperers observe and get into the heads of horses… and they can be very, very good at passing themselves off as caring, loving people.”

I’m certainly not telling you to become paranoid and suspicious of everyone you meet.

But when it comes to people who sell online, it’s good to remember that your instincts for who’s trustworthy and who’s not can be manipulated. Perversely, the more quickly and instinctively you trust an online personality, the more your Spidey sense (Batman signal? — apologies for mixing comic book universes) should be going off.

Anyways, here’s another tip:

It’s hard to maintain a psycho facade after a lot of contact over a long period of time. Therefore, if you want to demonstrate your non-psychopathy, one way to do that is to communicate regularly with your audience.

Which is one reason why I write a daily email newsletter, mostly about persuasion, marketing, and manipulation — for psychopaths or not. If you’re interested in trying this newsletter out, click here.

Surviving the Straits of Upwork with a little help from Pelorous John

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There was once a dolphin nicknamed Pelorous Jack.

For 30 years, he guided ships through a dangerous sea passage around one of the islands of New Zealand.

At one point, some scabby sailor tried to shoot Jack with a rifle. Jack survived, and he kept helping ships find their way to safety.

​​But not that ship, the one the sailor tried to shoot him from. That one sank after shipwrecking in Cook Strait. Which you might interpret a lesson about not spitting on free help or tossing away golden opportunities.

Anyways, I would like to propose I be your Pelorous Jack, I mean John, guiding you through the dangerous Straits of Upwork.

As you might know, I got my copywriting start on Upwork. I even wrote a book about my experiences. It tells how I got all the work I wanted (I didn’t want too much) and how I eventually charged $150/hr for that work.

But I’m not here to pitch you this book.

Instead, I want to tell you about an article I’ve put up on my site. It’s about my method for applying to Upwork jobs using stupid-simple, 3-sentences proposals.

If you’re on Upwork, or even if you’re not but you’re pitching clients somewhere else, then Pelorous John can help you navigate to richer waters.

So don’t be a scabby and ungrateful sailor. Take your opportunities when they are given, and if you want help getting freelance jobs, set sail to the link below:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-proposal-sample/

Stripping off for better paying copywriting jobs

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I read a news item that said Las Vegas is like a ghost town these days. The neon cowboy is pointing to nowhere… the fountains of free booze have been turned off… and even the strip joints have a sign on the marquee which reads:

“SORRY, WE’RE CLOTHED”

Here’s another thing I read today:

A technical and creative and digital marketing copywriter, with five years of experience warming a chair at different offices, was asking with a touch of frustration where all the good jobs might be. He even wrote the following:

“yeesh, do I need to go straight DR and start my own business to make any real money?”

My thoughts on this:

If you are a “creative” copywriter, then going direct response or selling your own offers are both good paths to making more money.

But so is getting better at what you do, specializing, charging higher rates, and working on attracting higher-paying clients.

Because you can’t stay clothed, call yourself a “stripper,” and expect people to throw one-dollar bills your way.

In the same way, you can’t just declare you are a “copywriter,” and expect people to line up and pay you the big simoleons.

​​Sure, there are a few naked and gyrating copywriters are out there, making really good money. But if you want to get paid more, then like with those other guys… some of that warm and insulating clothing is gonna have to come off. And you’re gonna have to put on a show.

The good news is, getting better at copywriting, specializing, charging higher rates, attracting better clients… while it takes time… is definitely possible.

And if you want my take on how to do each of those things, you might like my daily email newsletter. You can sign up for it here.

Getting comfortable copybragging on Facebook

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Speaking on a podcast recently, marketer and copywriter (though not freelance!) Chris Haddad had the following harsh truth to share:

“If I was a freelance copywriter, I would be posting on Facebook about copy all the time. And I would be posting all of my testimonials and all of my successes. Because that’s the gig. And if you can’t do it, you need to go out and do something else.”

Chris was saying how back in the day, what made him successful as a freelance copywriter is he was willing to go out and shout, “Hey I’m Chris Haddad and I’m fucking great.” But that kind of bragging causes a discomfort in his seat these days. It’s also one of the reasons Chris doesn’t offer any copywriting training.

What if you’re the same?

​​What if you have a fear of the spotlight, and you cannot imagine bragging about yourself on Facebook? And what if, unlike Chris, you haven’t yet reached the levels of success that allow you to say, you know what, I’ll do something else instead?

Well, I think you’ve got several options. Such as creating your own product in a non-marketing niche… or writing a daily email newsletter in hopes of establishing your credibility without bragging… or taking a page out of Sasha Fierce’s book.

Yes, Sasha Fierce.

​​Maybe rings a bell. Maybe no? It’s the alter ego that Beyonce created for herself in her early days. Here’s Beyonce:

“Usually when I hear the chords, when I put on my stilettos, like the moment right before when you’re nervous… then Sasha Fierce appears, and my posture and the way I speak and everything is different.”

Psychologists agree. By conducting experiments on children and the weak-willed, they have shown how inventing an alter-ego for yourself (or at least asking yourself, “What would Chris Haddad do?”) works wonders in changing your perspective, your resolve, and your behavior. Search online for the “Batman Effect” if you want to know more about this.

But for now, maybe it’s time to start inventing a braggartly Facebook alterego for your copywriting business. It might not be what you like to hear. But as Chris says, that’s the gig.

Some personal bragging:

I write a daily email newsletter. It’s fucking great. If you want to see what all of my raving readers are swooning over, you can sign up here.

Why don’t people like salesmen?

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I was walking through the streets of an Eastern European capital this morning, when I heard a pleasant melody.

Keep in mind today is Saturday, and this morning at 9:51am there was practically nobody out and about.

But among some sycamores in the center, I heard an accordion playing. An old man had taken a bench by himself in an otherwise empty park, and was playing a nostalgic tune. He wasn’t playing for money. Just for himself.

I found this very pleasing. Better to sit outside in a warm and sunny park than to play your accordion in a tiny apartment with the neighbors banging on the wall to get you to quit.

But here’s the dark thought that occurred to me:

It wouldn’t be so quaint if the guy were playing for money. Then it would be desperate. Right? ​​Sitting in abandoned park, while everyone else is having breakfast at home, playing an accordion in the hope somebody will pass by and like your squeezing and buttoning enough to drop a few coins in your leather case. It’s like a scene from some 1950s Italian melodrama.

So what’s the moral of this story?

I’m not sure. But I think it has something to do with how people see you if you are in the position of selling yourself or your services, and in particular, of appearing needy.

Because selling something and appearing needy are not the same. But for many people and in many cases, they seem identical. That’s why salesmen are often so unpopular.

But you can get rid of the neediness and the stigma of salesmanship, while still continuing to sell.

There are lots of ways to get to this desirable place. The easiest in my opinion is to introduce standards — who you sell to, what you sell, how much you charge — and to not deviate from that. Suddenly the aura of desperation lifts from you, even if you could use a few extra coins in your leather accordion case.

For more tips for selling yourself and your services, you might like my daily email newsletter. It’s free. It’s for freelancers, copywriters, and business owners. And you can sign up for it here.

Don’t burden busy business owners with your vague help

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A few weeks ago, a former client named Patrick sent a couple referrals my way. One of those turned into a largish project, the other might turn into something down the line.

So this week, I wrote to Patrick to say thanks. I also wrote that, if he wants, I would write some new headlines for a VSL he’s running that he could test against his control. (I’ve done this before for him as part of a project, and it had a big effect.) I offered to do this for free — just as a way of saying thanks for the referrals.

Patrick said great, and sent me a VSL that’s doing well and that he wanted to test new headlines on. I watched the VSL… wrote up a couple new headlines… sent it back to Patrick… and it’s getting tested now.

“Thanks for this,” Patrick said at the end, “and I’ll keep you in mind for future copywriting work.”

Contrary to what you might think, this email is not about greasing the groove of those client relationships with bottles of wine and fruit baskets.

Instead, I want to point out something else that can help you get work and form better relationships:

Business owners are busy. So when you make a proposal to them, be specific.

That’s why I wrote Patrick and said, “Do you want me to rewrite a headline for you as a way of saying thanks?” I didn’t write him and say, “If there’s anything I can do to say thanks, let me know.”

Don’t count on busy people to spend time and mental effort thinking about how to do business with you. Instead, put in a bit of time and thought yourself, and make a specific proposal to them.

Maybe they will take you up on your proposal… or maybe it will jog another idea in their mind that works better for them. Either way, I think your chances of making a connection jump up about a million-fold, compared to counting on them to do the work.

​​And by the way, I think this same “specific” approach is the way to go when contacting people who could be your personal mentors.

All right, enough traipsing down client lane for today.

If you want more of my ideas for how to deal with copywriting clients, you might like my daily email newsletter.

Copywriting that ages like fine milk

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Picture me in my kitchen a few days ago, waiting with a naive smile while my moka pot comes to a boil.

I’ve been craving a coffee all morning long, and here I am, only moments from fulfillment.

The moka pot starts to rumble — a good sign. I wait until it stops rumbling, take it off the stove, pour the coffee into a cup. Deep inhale. The coffee smell gets me excited about the drinking to come.

I open the fridge and take out the bottle of milk — not too much left, but it will be just enough — and I pour it into my cup. And out it comes. A whitish, lumpy, cottage cheese-like substance rolls out of the milk bottle and into my coffee. My smile is gone. The milk has curdled. My coffee is ruined.

A few things in life get better with age, but most get worse, much worse. Milk is one of them. My own writing is another.

About 18 months ago, I wrote a little book about how I succeeded on Upwork, going from zero experience and charging $15/hr, to being a well-paid and well-reviewed sales copywriter.

Then a few days ago, I had the idea to pull out a part of this book — specifically about how to apply for Upwork jobs – and put it on my site as an article.

But now that I’m re-reading what I wrote back then… well, my naive smile is gone. I’m not sure I want this aged writing curdling up the other content on my website.

Of course, with a bit of work, I could make this information presentable. But is it worth it? I don’t know.

I sent out an email to my newsletter subscribers to find out. If there’s demand for my advice on how to write 3-sentence Upwork proposals that win 4-figure jobs, I’ll put my distaste aside, and write this article up.

And if you want to know if it ever gets published, the surest way to get notified is to sign up for my daily email newsletter yourself.

“A hell of a habit to get into and just about as hard to get out”

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David Ogilvy, a stylish copywriter who started one of the biggest marketing agencies in the world, once wrote that, of the “six giants who invented modern advertising,” at least five were gluttons for work.

One of Ogilvy’s marketing giants was Claude Hopkins, who may have been the first A-list copywriter of all time.

​​A century ago, Hopkins amassed a fortune by writing profit-generating ads for big brands, many of which still survive today — Palmolive and Quaker Oats and Pepsodent.

He also wrote a book called Scientific Advertising, which has become a kind of bible in the field. (According to Ogilvy, nobody should be allowed to have anything to do with advertising until he has read this book at least seven times.)

Hopkins was certainly a glutton for work. He worked 16-hour days, every day, including Sundays — his “best working days, because there were no interruptions.”

Sounds horrendous, right? But here’s the thing that struck me about Claude Hopkins and his love of work. From his autobiography, My Life in Advertising:

“All the difference lay in a different idea of fun. […] So the love of work can be cultivated, just like the love of play. The terms are interchangeable. What others call work I call play, and vice versa. We do best what we like best.”

In other words, work can become fun, if you work at it. Maybe you find that thought encouraging. I know I sometimes do.

Other times, though, all I remember is what Hemingway said about work: “It’s a hell of a habit to get into and it’s just about as hard to get out.”

So what’s my point? No point. It’s Sunday, after all, a day of rest for non-gluttons. Enjoy and relax. We’ll get back to points, well-made or not, tomorrow.

For more content like this, you might like my daily email newsletter.

How a copywriting tortoise can compete with dozens of hares

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One summer, through no real fault or merit of my own, I lucked into a job as a management consultant.

I was walking down the street and I saw a plaque on the wall with a company’s name.

“I wonder what they do,” I said to myself.

It turned out they built software for banks. So I sent an email to their public-facing email address, saying how I have a background in economics and software development (true enough), and maybe they could use me.

An email came back two minutes later. It was from the CEO of the company. “When could you come into the office to talk?”

He hired me a couple of days later, at what was then a royal sum of money for me, to do work I wasn’t really qualified to do.

Second story:

Last year, a call went out among subscribers to Ben Settle’s print newsletter. A publishing company in the real estate space was looking for “A-list copywriters” to write VSLs.

For more info, interested applicants were to write to the CEO of the company.

I really wanted this job, but it took me about a week to finally write to the guy.

During that week, I’m sure 50 to 100 other would-be “A-list” copywriters wrote in to apply the same job with their best-crafted pitches.

But that’s not what I did.

Instead, I spent that week researching this publishing company, and writing two new leads for their current hot promotion.

I heard back from the CEO as soon as I sent my leads in. He was impressed I’d done that up-front work, and he liked the copy I’d written.

A few days later, he hired me for a big project. He later hired me for a second project. And now, I just got some referrals from him, which resulted in new work.

I’m not telling you either of these stories as specific strategies for winning projects. When it comes to copywriting clients, I’ve never had success with cold emailing. And I don’t recommend just doing free work whenever somebody asks you for it.

The point I want to get across is simply this:

In any collection of 50 smart, hard working, gung-ho hares, I’m unlikely to stand out and win the prize. But in a race involving just me, a slow and lazy tortoise, my odds are much better.

Maybe your totem animal is equally uncompetitive. So instead of working to make yourself into a better competitor, look for ways to make the competition a non-issue.

One last tip:

A good way to make yo’ tortoise self stand out from the crowd is to put out a consistent daily message in your own voice.

For example, I have a daily email newsletter, in which I talk about copywriting, marketing, and Aesop’s fables applied to the business of freelancing. If you’d like to sign up for these emails, just click here and fill out the form that appears.

A close entrepreneurial shave

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I’ve just had the most homoerotic experience, if not of my life, then certainly of the past 14 years.

I paid a man, much younger than me, to massage, caress, and pinch me. He did his job dutifully for almost exactly a half hour.

I won’t lie to you. I was massively relieved at the end of it. And with the transaction over, I couldn’t wait to get away.

So I handed the young man the equivalent of about $7, wrote my name on the obligatory covid-tracking sheet, and ran the hell out of the barber shop.

It never occurred to me to get a professional shave until today, but I’ll try anything once. And to be honest, I was chuffed with myself for going through this experience.

Only thing is, the shave wasn’t very good.

I realized it once I got home and checked in the mirror. I looked like a disheveled computer science professor I once had — smooth cheek on one side, five o’clock shadow on the other, uneven bits of stubble under my nose, tiny blotches of blood everywhere.

There was nothing left to do but get out the trusty Sensor Excel and do the job right myself.

So why is this relevant to you?

Probably no reason. Except in the unlikely case that you are an entrepreneur, or want to become one, but the thought of hiring people and managing them gives you the runs.

In spite of all the outsourcing porn and the advice about focusing on your most valuable 20%, the fact remains that you are still probably the best person to do many jobs around your business.

Sure, that can be a terrible limiting factor. But some business owners go surprisingly far by being a one-man band.

And in any case, if you hate the idea of recruiting, hiring, training, and keeping employees happy, then you might not have any choice.

​​​If this side of your personality is truly ingrained, then better accept it and figure out how to live with it.

​​As business coach Rich Schefren likes to say, “Put your shaving goals ahead of your massage goals.” No, I got that wrong. “Put your business goals ahead of your personal development goals.” That’s right.

But if you want to do things by yourself, you’ll need to get some good advice. I can’t help you with shaving. But for marketing and copywriting advice, you might like my daily email newsletter. You can sign up for it here.