Introducing: New Gimme Hope Co’rona strain

Perhaps you’ve read the news. From a Reuters article earlier today:

“Australia and several other countries joined nations imposing restrictions on travel from southern Africa on Saturday after the discovery of the new Charlize Coron variant sparked global concern and triggered a market sell-off.”

Ok, that’s not really what the news said. The new corona strain isn’t called Charlize Coron. It should have been called that. But instead, it got yet another boring Greek letter name, omicron.

A couple days ago, Ben Settle wrote this:

Yes, Google is one the best content title swipe files on the internet IMO.

My recommendation:

Look at hundreds of craft beer names.

Note the ones that pop out at you.

Then ask yourself:

“How can I apply this uniquely and creatively to my next piece of content?”

Since the Greek letter naming system sucks, I decided to try Ben’s advice out. I wanted to see if I couldn’t come up with a craft beer name for the new corona variant, something better than “omicron.” Maybe you can tell me if I succeeded with any of the options below.

A bit of googling revealed that many craft beer names are puns on celebrity names, stock phrases, or pop culture references tied in to the history behind the brewery.

Since this new variant was found in South Africa and Botswana, I hit upon the following ideas for the new corona beer:

* Covid Bustard (after Botswana’s national bird, the kori bustard)

* Antigen To Zebra (“all the animals you can find in South Africa, from aardvark to zebra”)

* Gimme Hope Co’rona (after the Eddie Grant hit Gimme Hope Jo’anna — Jo’anna is Johannesburg)

A second article I read said scientists are worried because this new strain has “a very unusual constellation of mutations.”

Unusual mutations? That makes my brain go in one direction only. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And since craft beers often feature nonsensical, goofy, high-energy names, this could be another possible name for the new brew:

* Cowidbunga!

Finally, the scientist who isolated this new variant said the “full significance of the variant is uncertain.” This reminded me of something Daniel Kahneman wrote about uncertainty and fear:

“The fear of an electric shock is uncorrelated with the probability of receiving the shock. The mere possibility triggers the full blown response.”

This Kahneman idea ties in well to my personal beliefs about corona. And if I had anything to do with naming the new strain, I might just give a nod to Kahneman and call it “Covid, fast and slow.”

But you know what? My point is not really anything to do with corona.

It’s not even anything to do with naming your products or content either.

Maybe you can see the point I’m trying to make. If not, then check out my email tomorrow, where I will almost certainly reveal Die Antwoord (another possible craft corona name?).

Making missed opportunities hurt

I’m at the seaside for a few days. Last night, after the fortieth glass of aperol, the decision was made to go for an “early-morning swim” today.

Today however, thanks to that same aperol, morning came later than usual. And then there was breakfast and some packing and a bit of standing around on the balcony. The early-morning swim plans turned into mid-day swim plans.

And then it started to rain. There would be no swimming after all.

Typical. At least in my life. Because in my experience, you can screw up in two ways:

You can take action and do something dumb… or you can not take action and miss an opportunity.

I’ve noticed in my own life that I’m much more likely to not take action, just like this morning, than to get overeager and get into trouble.

And I guess I am not the only one.

I read in Daniel Kahmenan’s Thinking Fast and Slow that we humans have a reliable bias in this direction.

It’s not just laziness.

But somewhere deep down in our monkey and lizard brains, we believe we will regret a mistake much more if we actively did something to bring it about… rather than if we just sat by, staring out the window, watching the clouds gather.

If Kahneman is right — and why wouldn’t he be, the guy’s got a Nobel Prize after all — then it’s another notch in favor of writing over-the-top, emotionally supercharged, manipulative sales copy.

Because sales copy, in spite of what many people will tell you, is not just like an ordinary conversation. You can’t just present a sober, reasoned argument and have people jumping out of bed.

Instead, you’ve got to create such desperation and fury in your prospect’s mind not only to overcome his natural laziness… but to overcome his fear of trudging all the way down to the beach, and then getting drenched in ice-cold rain. That’s gonna take some hyperbole. It’s gonna take some drama.

Finally, here’s a vision I want to paint in your mind:

I have an email newsletter. Each day I write a short email about copywriting and marketing lessons I’m learning.

If you like, you can sign up for the newsletter here. Or you can just wait. The opportunity will still be there tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that.