Frank Bettger

A mystery about people who willingly live in hell

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A few months ago, I was reading a New Yorker article about foreign nationals — Americans, Frenchmen, Kiwis — who volunteered to fight in Ukraine.

I found the article fascinating. I mean, ask yourself:

What makes someone willing to go halfway around the world, into a war zone, to live in a basement and crawl through mud and huddle in icy trenches, as constant explosions blow out his eardrums and traumatize his nervous system?

What makes a person willing to expose himself to getting shot at and wounded and possibly killed? And what makes him willing to shoot and wound and possibly kill others, who have never done any harm to him or his kind?

Most incredibly, what makes a person do all this voluntarily, without any promise of reward or even any real chance at glory, and without the usual government coaxing or propaganda or impressment?

“Maybe,” you say, “these foreign fighters are fighting for freedom, for justice, for the right thing. Maybe they feel they are doing their duty, as soldiers and as human beings.”

No doubt.

​But taking a page from Frank Bettger’s book, let me ask you one further:

In addition to doing the right thing, what other reason might these foreign fighters have to willingly put themselves in what most people would consider a living hell?

Take a moment to think about that. And when you’re done, read about it from the horse’s mouth, or rather, from the Turtle’s mouth. Here’s a bit from the New Yorker article, about a New Zealander fighting in Ukraine, code name Turtle:

===

In New Zealand, he’d been “planning out the rest of my life with a girl.” Before coming to Ukraine, he’d ended the relationship, quit his job, and sold his house and car. “In hindsight, it was very selfish,” he acknowledged. Although he may have suggested to his friends and relatives that Russian atrocities — in the Kyiv suburb of Bucha and elsewhere — had instilled in him a sense of obligation, such moral posturing had been disingenuous. “It was just an excuse to be in this environment again,” Turtle said.

===

Turtle had spent a large and formative part of his life fighting in war zones — he was first sent to Afghanistan in 2002, when he was 17.

Today, a generation later, he’s left his house, his car, his job, and Mrs. Turtle back in the Shire, and he’s decided to trade all that in for an environment he is more familiar with — an army unit in Mordor.

​​“In the end, it’s just that I love this shit,” Turtle said. “And maybe I can’t escape that — maybe that’s the way it’s always gonna be.”

All that’s to say:

Never underestimate how powerful the pull of the familiar, the known, the status quo is on people, even if that status quo is hell on earth.

And that’s it. That’s my possibly sobering psychological insight for you for today. Think about how it might apply to you and the people you deal with regularly, and maybe you can get some value out of it.

As for me, the time has come for my once-in-a-blood-moon pitch for my coaching program on email marketing and copywriting.

It might seem tacky to put a sales pitch at the end of an email about extreme self-sacrifice, or extreme self-immolation. I do it because extreme cases uncover the everyday cases. In any case, here’s my pitch.

I’ve only let in two kinds of people into my coaching program so far:

1. Business owners who want to use email to build a stronger, longer-lasting relationship with their prospects and customers, in order to sell more and to sell more easily

2. Copywriters who have a profit-share agreement with a client to manage an email list, allowing a large degree of control and an upside when things go well

There are multiple reasons why I restrict my coaching program to only those two groups of people. If you’re curious, I’ll tell you one reason, which is that my coaching program is expensive. I only want the kinds of people to join who can quickly get much more out of this coaching than what they pay me.

So if you fit one of the two categories above, and if you’re interested in my coaching program, then hit reply, tell me about yourself, and we can talk in more detail.

And in case you’re wondering whether a coaching program is something you possibly need:

I can tell you that personally, in most areas of life where I’ve had success, I didn’t have and didn’t need any kind of coach. Instead, I either figured it out myself, or I followed a book or a course to the letter, and got results that way.

On the other hand, there have been a few areas where I hired a coach, and even paid that coach lots and lots of money.

As I’ve written before, some of the value I got from coaching was genuine technical feedback. Some of the value was added confidence, via getting an experienced second pair of eyes to look over what I was doing.

But the majority of the value I got from expensive coaching — I would say 75% — came from having to justify the price to myself. From finally being forced to abandon the status quo, and to do things I should have been doing already, but found excuses not to do.

Maybe you say that’s stupid or illogical. All I can say is that this get-out-of-the-status-quo motivation made coaching absolutely worth it to me, and made it pay for itself many times over.

So do you need coaching?

Only you can decide if you’re stuck in the status quo, and if you find that unacceptable. If you decide the answer is yes, then like I said, write me an email, and we can talk in more detail to see whether my coaching program and you could be a good fit.

Touch 1458

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Yesterday, while vegetating in the changing room at my gym, I came across a provocative post written by a Morgan Housel.

That name sounded familiar. It turned out I’d seen it high up on the Amazon bestseller lists.

Housel is the author of The Psychology of Money — an ugly title, but one which has sold over 2 million copies and been translated into 52 languages.

Not only that. Housel is also a partner in some venture fund called Collaborative. I guess that might mean absolutely nothing, but it might also mean he’s very, very rich.

Anyways, Housel’s post was titled, Ideas That Changed My Life. “You spend years trying to learn new stuff,” says Housel, “but then look back and realize that maybe like 10 big ideas truly changed how you think and drive most of what you believe.”

So what are Housel’s big ideas?

I’ll share just one. Housel believes the only path to long-term success, besides luck, is sustainable competitive advantage. And get this — Housel also believes there are only 5 sources of such competitive advantage:

1. Learn faster than your competition

2. Empathize with customers more than your competition

3. Communicate more effectively than your competition

4. Be willing to fail more than your competition

5. Wait longer than your competition

And now, if you like, I’ll tell you about a single way, and a rather simple way, to tap into all five sources of sustainable competitive advantage in one go.

I can tell you about it from personal experience. Because I believe I’ve tapped into all five sources of competitive advantage by writing these daily emails.

​​Maybe it’s obvious how, maybe it’s not.

​​Check it:

1. Learn faster than your competition. I know what I will write in my email today, but I’m not sure about tomorrow. And so I’m constantly on the hunt for valuable and new ideas to share.

When I write about those ideas, I get a clearer understanding, or realize my total lack of understanding. Plus I remember them better. Some of these ideas I even apply in my own email marketing, and grok them on a completely different and much more real level than simply “knowing” about them.

2. Empathize with customers more than your competition. I never made much effort to share intrusive personal detail about myself in these emails. I find it unpleasant to do so more than once in a mercury retrograde. But inevitably, over four years of daily writing, many personal stories came out.

Pop quiz: How did my ex-girlfriend react when I gave her an expensive gold bracelet on our one-year anniversary? Hint: It wasn’t pretty.

I wrote an email about that a year and a half ago. When I recently asked people which of my emails first comes to mind, these kinds of personal reveals were near the top. And yes, this is how empathy works on the Internet.

3. Communicate more effectively than your competition. Yes.

4. Be willing to fail more than your competition. Uff. So many stupid things I’ve written. So many offers I’ve made that have gone nowhere. So many experiments that blew up in my face. Nobody remembers. Even I struggle to dredge them up, and I’ve got a keen instinct for shame.

5. Wait longer than your competition. Conventional wisdom says it takes 7 “touches” to make a sale. But how about 775?

Two weeks ago, on December 3, during my last bout of promoting my Most Valuable Email, one of the people who bought has been on my list since October 19 2020. That’s 775 days. He never bought anything from me before, though he replied to my emails on occasion.

Imagine poor Frank Bettger a hundred years ago, trudging around Chicago in his galoshes while the wind and snow whipped is face, visiting cigar-smoking business owners and trying to sell them life insurance. Back then, doing 775 “touches” was not feasible.

Today, thanks to the Internet and email, it’s quite feasible. In fact, it’s easy and even fun.

I’m not telling you to follow what I did, or even to do what I’m doing now. My path to 1458 “touches” — my best estimate — has been unique. And even today, I do things that might be suboptimal, but that allow me to stick with daily emailing for the long term.

My point is simply that if you’re not writing regular emails, start doing so. It can give you lasting competitive advantages like few other things can.

And if you want my personal help and guidance with that, well, I’m not sure you can get it.

As I announced three days ago, I’m launching a coaching program, which will start in January, specifically about email.

Quite a few people have expressed interest so far. But I’ve turned most of them away. They simply had too few of the necessary pieces already in place.

I will be promoting this coaching program for another three days after today.

If you can see the possible value to your business of sending regular emails — and doing so for the long term — then the first step is to get on my email list. Click here to do so. That done, we can check whether you have enough in place already for me to quickly guide you to email-based competitive advantage.

10 steps to becoming a magnetic listener

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About 15 years ago, I read a biography of former World Bank president James Wolfensohn. It’s the first time I’d heard the term “magnetic listener.”

“Magnetic listener?” I thought. “What could be magnetic about it? You just sit there.”

Well, in the years since, I’ve done a fair bit of listening and I’ve worked on honing my skills. I’ve picked up some tactics from various sources, and I’ve noticed a few of my own natural tricks.

So for your enlightenment as well as for my own, let me write down 10 steps to becoming a magnetic listener (in no particular order):

#1. Challenge the speaker

Don’t just passively accept everything you hear. Do this after you’ve been listening for a while. “Hold on. How does this square with what you told me just a moment ago?”

#2. Continue the speaker’s train of thought

Think features vs. benefits, and get the speaker to explain the difference in their own words. “And why was that important?” “And what did that mean to you?”

#4. Keep eye contact

There’s no better way to show you’re giving the speaker your full attention. If they don’t break off the eye contact periodically while they are speaking (and most people will) then you should break it off for just a moment every so often. Otherwise, the situation might become sexual or confrontational.

#3. Call out any break in rapport

If you’re gonna take notes (not a bad idea), call it out. And still look up periodically to maintain eye contact and reassure the speaker that you’re fully engaged.

#5. Encourage the speaker to continue

“I see.” Nod. “Ok…” Nod. Only do this once they pause and they are looking for reassurance you want them to continue.

​​Don’t try to encourage while they are speaking because even a peep out of you (“Wow!”) can interrupt people and keep them from delivering useful info.

#6. Make anodyne comments to give the speaker permission to keep talking

Do this once they properly stop speaking, and you’ve used up your “Wow” and “I see” trump cards.

“So that’s how you [do what I just asked you about]…” Or you can repeat the last thing you said like you’re mulling it over like a fine wine. Or rephrase what they said — but do it superficially, and don’t try to show off your cleverness or insight.

The underlying psychology here is that people will often stop speaking out of politeness or wariness. They need your indirect permission to keep sharing more.

#7. Ask your questions as they come up

You’ll have to make a judgment call here. Sometimes it’s ok to interrupt people as they’re speaking because a) you will get better info by directing them than by allowing them to run on a tangent and b) it shows you’re really listening to them.

At the same time, don’t clutch to your questions so tightly that you stop listening to what the speaker is saying. You might miss valuable information. Be willing to let go of a question.

#8. Get to the real reason

This is the Frank Bettger technique. You listen as they explain. “I see. Is there any OTHER reason?” “What ELSE could you do?” This and the anodyne comments above are different ways of doing Jim Camp’s 3+ (asking the speaker in at least three different ways to explain or confirm the same point).

#9. Introduce a bit of your own input

Once people get to talking, they will fight for the right to keep talking. So give them something to fight against. “Oh, that’s interesting. It’s just like this one time that I was walking down the street, minding my own business…” The key here is to do it once they are already warmed up, and to be willing to drop your story as soon as they want to start talking again.

#10. Ask the speaker to repeat stuff

Do this to make sure you got everything right. Both for the information itself, and so you can focus on what they are saying instead of worrying that you missed something.

Plus, you can even do it as a psycho tactic — when you heard everything perfectly. “Wait, can you repeat that last bit?” It makes you look interested as well as unokay, which makes them okay by contrast.

And there you go. I’ve used these techniques while interviewing, while negotiating, and while seducing (or trying to).

Speaking of which (negotiating, I mean), I’m now working on a little guide that summarizes what I’ve learned about negotiating, specifically for freelancers, and even more specifically for freelance copywriters.

I’ll be giving this negotiation guide as a free bonus with my revamped book on succeeding as a freelancer on Upwork. In case you want to get notified when I make all this available, you can sign up here:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book

7 hot systems to get you more referrals than Bernie Madoff

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Here’s something you may not think about:

Bernie Madoff, author of the largest financial fraud in history, started from scratch. Back in the 1960’s, he had just $5,000, which he earned working as a lifeguard and sprinkler installer.

So how did he go from this modest beginning to a $65 billion investment Ponzi scheme?

Through referrals, of course.

His father-in-law, an accountant, referred friends and their relatives to Madoff, and this got the snowball rolling.

Unfortunately, you and I don’t have Bernie Madoff’s father-in-law to press-gang clients for us. But we have the next best thing.

And that’s Jay Abraham, whose stuff I’ve been listening to non-stop the past few weeks.

One of Jay’s products is “93 Referral Systems” — basically a bunch of people at a Jay Abraham seminar, coming up to the microphone and sharing what their business is and how they get referrals.

I haven’t yet finished all 93, but here are 7 that have stuck with me so far:

#1. The “ultimatum” referral system

In a nutshell: Refuse to do business with people unless they make referrals

A dentist in Australia decided to make his entire practice more upscale and based on referrals. So after interviewing a potential new patient to his exclusive practice, he would simply tell them that referring two equally qualified leads was a requirement for getting in. Result? Patients would ask him, “Can I refer only two people?”

#2. The “steak and eggs” referral system

In a nutshell: Approach complementary businesses and give them a cut for referrals

A heating-and-cooling company started a new duct cleaning side business. They went to their competition (in heating and cooling), and asked for referrals for duct cleaning in exchange for a cut.

#3. The “golf buddy” referral system

In a nutshell: Join an affinity-based association

Some kind of unidentified consultant joined the National Speakers Association, and got many referrals from within the organization itself.

#4. The “welcome to our cult” referral system

In a nutshell: Whip people up into a frenzy and ask them to refer your business

This one is from Jay’s own seminars. Once somebody signed up, the salesperson would ask them, “How serious are you about this?” The salesman would then point them to phones in the back of the room, and ask them to call three people and tell these three people about the decision to enroll in the seminar.

#5. The “lobbyist” referral system

In a nutshell: Hire lobbyists to reach the unreachable

An investing company was looking for institutional investors. So they found retired executives, got them to sign a contract saying they’d get 10% for referring people they knew.

#6. The “fog of war” referral system

In a nutshell: When somebody buys, contact people near them

This one’s from a Lexus dealership. When they delivered the car, they’d ask if it’s ok to mail all the neighbors. They would then send direct mail to the neighbors, telling them how Mr. Jones down the street just got a brand new Lexus in a “neighborhood beautification program” and how they can too.

#7. The “Frank Bettger” referral system

In a nutshell: Get your clients talking about themselves so they like you

A life insurance salesman would take his clients out to lunch. He’d kick things off by using a Frank Bettger classic: “How did you get started in this business, Mr. Bejako?” He’d then transition to asking for advice. “What could I do to be more successful?” And then he’d go for the kill. “I’d love to expand my business and get more referrals. Who are some high-quality prospects you’d call on if you were in my shoes?”

And there you go. 7 proven systems to get you more leads, more business, and more, more, more munny.

And in case you’re wondering…

Yes, I too will start implementing some of these referral systems right away.

So if you need sales copy written, get in touch with me and we can talk. Just know that I only take on new clients if they can refer two equally qualified prospects for my copywriting services.

Five words to get to the heart of why people don’t buy

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A true story about objections:

A chemical supplies salesman goes into a client’s office. The client used to have a big account with the salesman’s company, but about a year ago, he mysteriously withdrew his business.

“Why?” the salesman asks timidly.

“We decided to give your competitors a shot,” says the client. “They’ve proved to be perfectly satisfactory, so we will stick with them.”

Hmm.

What to say?

Well, one option is to take a page out Frank Bettger’s book How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling.

Back in the 1920’s, Bettger was a pro baseball player. He then got injured and started selling life insurance.

Very unsuccessfully, at first.

Eventually though, he became quite the salesman. In time, he even teamed up with Dale Carnegie on the self-help lecture circuit, and wrote the “How I Raised Myself” book after Carnegie encouraged him.

That book, although it’s not well-known today, had quite the following once.

Gary Bencivenga, widely believed to be the greatest copywriter of all time, and Marty Edelston, the founder of the direct response behemoth Boardroom/Bottom Line, both credit it for their massive success.

Anyways, one thing Bettger says in the book is he kept a list of reasons why people didn’t buy.

He tallied them all up, across some 5,000 sales interviews.

What he found is that around 60% of the time, the initial, logical objection that people gave for not buying was not the real reason.

Bettger advised first asking “Why?” to get this first reason.

He’d listen.

And then, he’d say, “In addition to that, is there any other reason you might have for not buying?”

In total, those five words — “Why” and “In addition to that” — were usually enough to draw out the real objection.

They worked in the case of the chemical supplies salesman above. (It turned out the client was angry that a special discount had been discontinued without notice.)

All of which is great if you can talk to your prospects.

This is something you do in direct sales. You might even be able to do with copywriting, if you can find prospects to interview.

Unfortunately though, it’s not always possible.

So how do you get at those hidden reasons when all you have is a customer avatar?

Well, you need workarounds.

I have my own — basically how I do research.

I’ll talk about this in more detail in my upcoming book on email marketing for the health space. If you want to raise your emails from failure to success in selling, you might be interested in grabbing a free copy of this book when it’s out. Here’s how to do that:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/