Chris Haddad

Virtue selling

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Because you are an independent thinker, I believe you will appreciate the following:

​​A few nights ago, I was walking along the riverside when a series of loud explosions went off all around me.

I didn’t flinch. Not because I’m so brave. But because I knew what was going on.

The explosions were firecrackers, fireworks, or possibly cannon fire, set off in celebration. They were followed by mass cheering that broke out from balconies, bars, and cafes all over the city.

Because it’s the Euro Cup now. And the national soccer team had just scored a goal.

I say national team, but that’s not what they are called. Not officially.

Instead, government officials, TV pundits, and newspaper editors now use the terms “we,” or more commonly, “Croatia.”

“Croatia was magnificent”

“Croatia needs to try harder”

“Croatia rises from the ashes”

My point is that soccer here is a kind of new state religion.

I’m not kidding about that.

Once upon a time in this part of the world, belonging to the official church and being a good citizen were two sides of the same personal identity coin.

Today, the church has lost much of its pull.

But soccer has gained where the church has lost.

So today, billboards, TV, and newspapers all repeat a hundred versions of the same two-sided message:

“Croatia is soccer! And soccer is Croatia!”

But let me step off my 1984 pulpit. And let me get to the money-making shot at the open goal.

This official push for soccer fandom brought to mind something I’ve heard from two successful marketers.

The marketers in question are Chris Haddad and Ben Settle. And independent of each other, they both said the same thing:

You want to make buying from you a virtue.

Sure, people want to get rich, get laid, and get swole.

But maybe not as much as you think. Maybe not enough to pull out their wallets, to overcome their fears, and to set aside the bad memories of previous purchases that went nowhere. Maybe not enough to buy.

So you link buying from you to a virtue:

Your prospect is a rebel. Or a patriot. Or a visionary.

And by virtue of buying from you… he is making the world a better place… and reaffirming that he is in fact a deserving person.

And when your prospect starts wondering if that’s really something he wants, you remind him:

He still gets rich/laid/swole as part of the bargain. A good deal, no? 1-0 for your business.

And now the pitch:

Since you are an independent-thinking person, you might want to sign up to my email newsletter. By signing up to my email newsletter, you will be exposed to novel ideas, making you an even more independent-thinking person. Plus you might make some money in the process.

Wounded children walking

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“Every man you’ve ever known, loved, and trusted has lied to you.”

That was the sentence that Chris Haddad tacked on at the front of one of his VSLs in the relationship niche. Chris says this one sentence doubled conversions.

So what’s going on?

Well, the sentence is shocking. And shocking pattern interrupts work well at the start of a VSL to attract attention. But there’s more to it than that.

I heard a successful copywriter say that if you take a product’s features, you can ask “So what?” to get to the benefit of that feature.

And you can ask “So what?” again, to get to the benefit of that benefit.

And you can keep asking the same “So what?” question… until you get to the end. And the end is always the same:

“So I can feel better about myself.”

This same copywriter summed it up with a self-help quote. “We are all wounded children walking around in adult bodies.”

For somebody who’s in the direct response relationship market, that wound might be a broken promise or rejection or harm early on in life… which has trailed this person like a hungry shadow ever since.

In other parts of the direct response world, the wound might be something different.

But everybody — at least everybody who’s of interest to you if you write copy — has such a wound. And if you can address it right at the start of your message, like Chris did with his VSL… then the right people will listen.

Listen:

I have an email newsletter where I write about persuasion and copywriting. If you consider yourself to be a smart, ambitious person, and you have uncomfortably high standards for yourself… then you might find it valuable. You can subscribe here.

The George Costanza method of client seduction

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There’s an episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza, the fat short bald loser who is always making up exciting careers for himself to impress women, realizes that everything he has done in life has lead to failure.

Desperate, George takes another tack.

He goes bizarro. He does the opposite of whatever he would normally do.

George starts by ordering the opposite lunch from what he normally gets. He then notices an attractive woman looking at him from across the restaurant.

Bizarro George decided to get up and go talk to her — because normal George never would.

“Excuse me,” George says to the woman, “I couldn’t help but notice you were looking in my direction.”

“Oh yes I was,” the woman explains. “You just ordered the exact same lunch as me.”

George takes a deep breath.

“My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”

The woman turns to face him fully, her eyes sparkling and a smile spreading across her face. “I’m Victoria. Hiii…”

Chris Haddad said in a recent interview that if you are a freelance copywriter, then you should be constantly going on Facebook, bragging about how great you are, and sharing all of your successes and testimonials.

That’s one approach. It can definitely work.

But there’s another approach. It’s when you seek to not impress. Instead, you give clients reasons why you are not a good match for them. You refuse to talk about your experience and successes, or at least you put it off as long as possible.

This is nothing more than a page out of Jim Camp’s negotiation system. You’re looking for a no. More importantly, you are eliminating any neediness that’s typical when freelancers talk to clients.

Very likely, this approach is not right for you.

But if you find that the typical advice of confidence and bragging has lead you to failure over and over… then this bizarro George approach is worth a shot. Because it can work, and not on just on TV.

Here’s another thing that is very likely not right for you:

My daily email newsletter. Very few people subscribe to it. Even fewer read it.

A sexy technique for writing bullets that leave other copywriters green with envy

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I was at the gym today when I saw a guy getting ready to do squats after me. I watched him nervously as he stacked a few plates on the barbell. And then I took a big sigh of relief. I realized he will squat less weight than I was just squatting.

Like the other 7.8 billion people on this planet, I shrink with envy when I lag other people in some measure. I swell with pride when I am better than them.

You might know pride and envy as two of the seven deadly sins. Which brings me to a sexy copywriting technique I just heard copywriter Chris Haddad talk about.

Chris says most people write boring bullets. I know I do. The fix, according to Chris, is to take your boring bullets and marry them to the seven deadly sins.

Let me give you a few examples. Here are three sin-lite bullets I quickly wrote for the description to my soon-to-be-published book, The 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters:

II. A simple guiding principle that’s almost guaranteed to bring you into the top of the copywriting game (and it’s not just to work harder).

III. A 5-minute way to transform your copy so it sucks in your reader all the way to the sale, without him realizing what happened.

VII. A technique to convert even the most jaded, skeptical, and hostile prospects (some copywriters say this is the biggest breakthrough of the last five years).

Not awful, but not good either. So let’s soup it up by appealing to perennial human failings:

II. [WRATH] Hate losing, and hate yourself when you lose? Follow this commandment, and you will be able to crush competing copywriters, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.

III. [SLOTH] The easiest commandment of the lot. It takes just 5 minutes to do but it can suck your reader all the way to the sale, without him realizing what happened.

VII. [PRIDE] How to “get one up” on jaded or even hostile prospects who think they are too smart to believe your marketing or to buy from you (some copywriters say this is the biggest breakthrough of the last five years).

These sinful bullets still have a way to go, particularly in the way of mechanism or proof. But I think they are better than what I started with. So if you too work for the Satanical Church of Direct Response… then try appealing to lust, gluttony, greed, wrath, sloth, envy, and pride the next time bullets are on your plate.

Speaking of lust:

My daily email newsletter can help you get laid tonight. And then you can brag about it to your friends… while you aggressively chew on a large leg of mutton, paid for by all the easy money you earned by taking my push-button copywriting recommendations.

Click here to subscribe. Or don’t — and be left in the dust as other, younger copywriters catch up to you and then overtake you.

Getting comfortable copybragging on Facebook

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Speaking on a podcast recently, marketer and copywriter (though not freelance!) Chris Haddad had the following harsh truth to share:

“If I was a freelance copywriter, I would be posting on Facebook about copy all the time. And I would be posting all of my testimonials and all of my successes. Because that’s the gig. And if you can’t do it, you need to go out and do something else.”

Chris was saying how back in the day, what made him successful as a freelance copywriter is he was willing to go out and shout, “Hey I’m Chris Haddad and I’m fucking great.” But that kind of bragging causes a discomfort in his seat these days. It’s also one of the reasons Chris doesn’t offer any copywriting training.

What if you’re the same?

​​What if you have a fear of the spotlight, and you cannot imagine bragging about yourself on Facebook? And what if, unlike Chris, you haven’t yet reached the levels of success that allow you to say, you know what, I’ll do something else instead?

Well, I think you’ve got several options. Such as creating your own product in a non-marketing niche… or writing a daily email newsletter in hopes of establishing your credibility without bragging… or taking a page out of Sasha Fierce’s book.

Yes, Sasha Fierce.

​​Maybe rings a bell. Maybe no? It’s the alter ego that Beyonce created for herself in her early days. Here’s Beyonce:

“Usually when I hear the chords, when I put on my stilettos, like the moment right before when you’re nervous… then Sasha Fierce appears, and my posture and the way I speak and everything is different.”

Psychologists agree. By conducting experiments on children and the weak-willed, they have shown how inventing an alter-ego for yourself (or at least asking yourself, “What would Chris Haddad do?”) works wonders in changing your perspective, your resolve, and your behavior. Search online for the “Batman Effect” if you want to know more about this.

But for now, maybe it’s time to start inventing a braggartly Facebook alterego for your copywriting business. It might not be what you like to hear. But as Chris says, that’s the gig.

Some personal bragging:

I write a daily email newsletter. It’s fucking great. If you want to see what all of my raving readers are swooning over, you can sign up here.

Copywriting playboys get treated like a piece of meat

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A while back, when there was still such a thing as professional sports, I noticed that the top three or four men’s tennis players all had one unusual thing in common:

They were all in settled, long-term relationships, often with the same girl they had started dating while they were still teenagers.

Further down the rankings, you had tennis players who were known to be playboys. Regardless of their natural talent, these playboys hovered around the top 20, but could never break into the very peak of the sport.

Coincidence?

Probably. But maybe not. Maybe a stable relationship really is crucial for massive success.

Don’t worry. I’m not telling you to go in search of a ball and chain to lock around your ankle. My point is simply this:

When I look at top copywriters — meaning people who get paid millions of dollars a year, with schedules booked up months in advance — they all fall into one of two categories.

One is guys like Chris Haddad or Jon Benson, who got successful promoting their own offers. The other is guys like Dan Ferrari and Stefan Georgi, who worked in-house at a direct response publisher for long enough to get a pile of successes in their knapsacks.

What you don’t see are playboys who came up by bouncing around from client to client. Maybe this promiscuous lifestyle worked many winters ago. But I don’t see it happening today.

Not to say you can’t make good money as a copywriting playboy. It’s what I’ve done in my career. I now make more money for less work than at any job I could have ever held.

But if you want to make it to the top… or if you want to be perceived as more than a commodity service provider… then jumping from client to client is unlikely to get you there. ​​If you want clients to stop seeing you as a piece of meat, you will have to get hitched — either to your own business, or to somebody else’s.

That’s something I’m working on as well right now. If you want to follow how I’m doing that, click here and subscribe to my email newsletter.

General Patton and 4 top copywriters

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“The difficulty in understanding the Russian is that we do not take cognizance of the fact that he is not a European, but an Asiatic, and therefore thinks deviously. We can no more understand a Russian than a Chinaman or a Japanese, and from what I have seen of them, I have no particular desire to understand them, except to ascertain how much lead or iron it takes to kill them. In addition to his other Asiatic characteristics, the Russian has no regard for human life and is an all out son of bitch, barbarian, and chronic drunk.”
— General George S. Patton, August 8 1945

Why is Patton the most famous American military man, at least among those who never became president?

You might say it’s his wartime performance. That might be so. I’m not a history buff so I can’t say. But my guess is there were lots of other great generals in American history who never became household names. Why Patton?

Maybe it’s the Oscar-winning movie that was made about him, which had the Francis Ford Coppola golden touch. But this raises the question, why make a movie about Patton? I’ll tell you my theory.

Patton became famous because people perceived him as a true leader, and they perceived him as a leader because he was (among a few other things) so unflinchingly opinionated.

Look at the quote above. It’s so stupid. Not just by 2020 standards, but by 1945 standards. But the content of what you say doesn’t matter much as long as you say it with enough fury, conviction, and disregard for what others think.

I have another theory: I believe most people (myself included) have this empty socket in their brain. We are constantly looking for an authority to plug into that empty socket, if only for a little while. The appeal of strongmen like Patton is one manifestation of this… but so is our obsession with celebrities… or even the popularity of concerts and clubs.

All of which has clear implications for persuasion. While doable, it might be hard to get to Patton-like levels of opinionatedness and charisma in real life. But if you’re writing, say a sales letter, then you can definitely whip yourself up into the right kind of certainty and frenzy, and channel that across the page.

Speaking of writing sales letters and authority, I listened to an interesting discussion today between four top copywriters. They were Stefan Georgi, Chris Haddad, Justin Goff, and Dan Ferrari.

Odds are, you’ve already watched this discussion. But if you haven’t yet, it’s worthwhile. There’s nothing tactical being discussed on this call, but there’s a lot of behind the scenes thinking that might interest you if you’re into copywriting or persuasion. Here’s the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThUusBt1dIM

A classic Hollywood trick for stronger sales letter leads

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Frank Capra was desperate.

He reached for a lighter, struck up a flame, and set fire to his new film.

The year was 1937, and Capra had just finished shooting a new movie, called Lost Horizon. At the time, Capra was already a huge Hollywood success, having won the Academy Award for best director twice. However, this new film was long (three and a half hours), confusing, and test audiences hated it.

The legend goes as follows:

After the first sneak preview, which was a complete failure, Capra started agonizing. How to fix this monster of a film?

In a moment of inspiration, he hit upon the shocking solution. Even though it was dangerous and possibly crazy, he burned the first two reels of his film. This eliminated the dull intro scenes, and put the audience smack in the middle of the action.

Problem solved.

I thought of this Hollywood legend because I’m currently writing a new sales letter. It’s for sun-protective clothing, and the angle for the sales letter is skin cancer. So I decided to open with a story of a wife whose husband has been diagnosed with melanoma.

While I was planning this, I kept hearing Chris Haddad’s “Talk dirty to me” VSL in my head. It literally opens up with the words “Talk dirty to me,” and then goes to tell the story of a woman whose boyfriend made that request.

That’s some Frank Capra stuff.

Unfortunately, I haven’t yet been able to sum up my audience’s fears in such a clear and powerful phrase.

But I do start the story immediately, with the husband in the hospital bed, his wife at his side, and the doctor delivering a horrible verdict. It’s much better than beginning with a sermon about how skin cancer is the most prevalent type of cancer.

So in short, if you want a stronger sales letter lead, look to cut out some filler. Make sure to get to the dramatic stuff right away, and capture your audiences attention in the very first sentence.

Talk dirty to me…