Apple

A current case of whale fall

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On May 17, I wrote about whale fall. That’s my term for how little businesses or even individuals can carve out a unique position for themselves in the marketplace, by feeding off the carcass of a dead or declining whale.

Today, I want to share a quick news bite with you regarding this:

Hey, a new email provider, is out there right now looking to replace the likes of Google’s Gmail.

“Gmail has basically frozen all innovation in email for a good decade,” said David Heinemeier Hansson, one of the guys behind Hey.

(Heinemeier Hansson is well-known in nerd circles, because he is one of the developers and co-founders of Ruby on Rails and Basecamp, and because he is an all-around loud guy.)

So Hey is reimagining email. Each new sender first has to get your consent, or they become ignored. Tracking pixels are automatically blocked. Hey doesn’t have an inbox, but it does have something called an “Imbox.”

As of now, you can only get on the waiting list for a Hey email account. And you have to write a haiku to do it. (I’m not kidding.) Once you are on the waiting list, if your haiku is approved, you then get the chance to pay Heinemeier Hansson $99 for a year of Hey email.

Pretty outrageous, right?

And yet, there is apparently a line of people, wrapping twice around the Internet, who have submitted their haikus and who are holding their $99 in hand, ready to hand it over.

I personally don’t think Hey will succeed long-term, at least as it currently stands. But I bring this story up for two reasons:

1. Even if Hey is not successful, it might have an impact on how promotional emails are handled.

There were already rumblings last summer that Apple was doing some anti-marketing email moves. Now, other tech whales might get in on it. If you are in marketing, it’s good to keep half an eye on these things so you don’t get blindsided.

2. The number one ideal of any whale is to get larger and to absorb more. Along the way, whales get sloppy. So if your primary concern is freedom rather than size, then you can follow your instincts and even make a good business out of it.

That’s the essence of whale fall, and that’s what Hey illustrates, even before it’s launched.

In other news, I just read that Google is facing a $5 billion lawsuit for tracking Chrome users in incognito mode. Maybe it’s time to reimagine how people access their porn? For the right person or small business, it could be a brand new whale fall opportunity.

In still other news, did you get that initial email I sent on May 17 about whale fall? If not, maybe it’s because you’re not subscribed to my email newsletter. Or you’ve got Hey, and you didn’t give your consent to receive my daily emails. In the second case, there’s not much I can do. But if the first case is the problem, here’s how to get on my newsletter list.

A legendary copywriter tells you where to shove your USP

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A few years back, I got hired to write a home page for an innovative company.

They were selling “European-style” windows to Americans.

These windows could be opened in all sorts of ways… they offered better sound and temperature insulation… and they looked hella European.

In other words, this was a superior product that would sell itself if described in detail.

So I wrote up the home page to explain the main advantages of these windows, and to back them up with facts.

“It’s ok,” the client said when I delivered the copy, “but I was hoping you could make the copy more like what I see in ads for Apple.”

This is one of my pet poofs.

I understand the temptation to want to imitate Apple. Apple products are everywhere, the company is hugely successful, and there’s a mystique to their marketing.

​​But none of those are reasons for a tiny business to try to ape Apple’s copywriting or advertising. ​​I think many of the arguments why are obvious, so I won’t drag on the point here.

I just wanted to bring this story up because of an interesting article I read recently.

The article was written by copywriting and marketing legend Mark Ford. Mark is one of the people responsible for making Agora the giant direct response business that it is today.

​​He’s also the author of many books on business and marketing and copywriting (including Great Leads, which I highly recommend).

Anyways, Mark was asked how copywriters should come up with a USP — a unique selling proposition — to help them position and market themselves.

After all, every business, even a one-man service business, needs a USP, right?

Maybe, and maybe not.

If you’re a copywriter — or you have any other kind of small business — then I think Mark’s article is worth a read.

It tells you where you can shove your USP, though of course Mark doesn’t use those words, because he’s a very classy man. Here’s the link to the article:

https://www.markford.net/2019/08/21/8720/

Flushing your email marketing down the toilet

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A few days ago, I read about a girl who was forced to flush her hamster down the toilet.

She was traveling with the hamster — her emotional support animal — on Spirit Airlines.

From Miami to Baltimore, Spirit Airlines allowed the hamster on board.

But for the flight back to Miami, Spirit changed their minds when the girl was checking in at the airport. No rodents on the plane, they said.

The girl tried negotiating, or booking other flights, or renting a car.

But nothing worked out.

Finally, according to the girl at least, one Spirit Airlines agent helpfully suggested she either let the hamster run wild in the parking lots surrounding the airport…

Or flush the poor beast down the toilet.

And so, frustrated and worn out and needing to get home to take care of an urgent medical issue, that’s what the girl did.

The lesson being:

There’s simply no arguing when a behemoth corporation, which has control of your life, says no to your small, individual, even reasonable requests.

I bring this up because marketers, copywriters, and anyone else who relies on email as a marketing channel, might face a similar situation soon.

That’s because of some big technical changes that are coming in the newest versions of Apple’s iOS operating system.

Some of these changes, having to do with telemarketing, will be kicking in as soon as this September.

Others, which will be more relevant for email marketing, will be phased in over the next several months.

And in the worst case, this could mean that the traditional online sales funnel — you sign up for a free lead magnet, I send you some promotional emails — will no longer work.

Not just on Apple devices.

In general.

Now maybe you’re skeptical this is really real.

Or you want to know what the actual technical details are before you make up your mind.

Or you are already scared, and want to start taking some action steps to prepare.

In any of those cases, I can point you to the latest episode of David Garfinkel’s Copywriter’s Podcast, where I heard about this issue just this morning.

David’s podcast has the full details, as well as a free opportunity to help you prepare for this transformation.

So if you wanna take a listen and maybe even prevent your valuable email marketing from getting flushed down the swampy and slimy bathroom toilet at Apple International Airport, here’s where to go:

http://copywriterspodcast.com/index.php?podcast=925