In my email yesterday, I featured a failed cold outreach message that some dude sent me. I asked readers how they might improve this failed message.
I got a bunch of responses, commentary, and reworked cold pitches. Among them was the following reworked pitch, from a copywriter named Paul:
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Hi John,
I read your book about A-List copywriters and I found it very interesting. Actually, I am also a writer and I had an idea that I’m sure will push your results through the roof. It’s a very interesting concept, especially for your type of business.
I feel like we could do a partnership with me providing extra value to your business and you telling about your experience in direct response.
Let me know if this could interest you, we can schedule a call in the week to talk about it.
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Like I wrote to Paul, his reworked cold email was an improvement over the original.
Because of this, I might at least respond to this email to acknowledge it.
Or I might not. Because I feel I’m being baited by this promise of a “very interesting concept.” It’s a bait I can well refuse, especially considering the risk of biting down on it — wasting my time and having to meet God-knows-who on a Zoom call.
One thing’s for sure. I definitely wouldn’t agree to get on a call based on just this email.
And yet…
A very similar cold outreach message has worked in the past.
In fact, a very similar cold pitch opened up doors, got a meeting, and launched a million-dollar, A-list copywriting career.
The pitch was very similar to the one above. But it was also different, in one critical regard.
I’m not sure the if the critical difference will be obvious to you.
But if you are looking to do cold outreach that actually gets a response, it might be worth trying to figure out the difference between the cold outreach message above, and the one on the following page.
In case you are curious: