Persuasion

The first millennial saint and the miracle of concreteness

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Carlo Acutis, born 1991, died 2006, was beatified today by the Catholic Church.

The next step is for Acutis to be made a saint — the first millennial saint, if God and Church will it.

So what’s the story?

Acutis lived a pretty holy life before dying of leukemia at age 15. He worked to help the poor… he defended the rights of the disabled… he documented Eucharistic miracles and used his programming skill to make a website that catalogued them.

But that’s not what got him beatified. Instead, it took a literal miracle.

As you might know, when the pharisees came to Jesus to ask for a sign of his divinity… Jesus scorned them and sent them away.

But the Catholic Church doesn’t operate like that.

The Catholic Church requires you to perform a documented miracle in order to be beatified… and two if you want to become a saint. (Acutis supposedly helped a Brazilian boy get healed of a pancreatic defect.)

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to harp on the Catholic Church or to nitpick whether they’re consistent with the words of Jesus.

I simply want to point out that if, like the Catholic Church, you want to appeal to everyone (and the Catholic Church does, it’s right there in the name)…

Then you can’t be as dismissive as Jesus was when people ask you for a sign.

Because the multitudes need miracles… they need signs… or if you want to put it into persuasion and influence terms, they need concreteness.

Listing logical reasons and abstract arguments… that’s hard to people to get a grasp on. But giving demonstrations, showing case studies, or just citing specifics… well, that can be miraculously persuasive.

Perhaps you find all this blasphemous. Perhaps you feel that not every decent human act needs to be a lesson about persuasion and manipulation. In that case, you definitely won’t be interested in my daily email newsletter.

On the other hand, if you were not offended by the discussion above and you want to get on that newsletter… then click here.

 

A real-life Joker triggered my Spidey sense today

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I had a surreal experience today:

I heard a well-known, madly successful guru tell his origin story in a semi-private setting. It all sounded very credible except — only a few days earlier, I had heard him tell the same origin story in another semi-private setting. And the critical details were completely different.

It felt like the scene in The Dark Knight, where the Joker explains how he became the Joker because his daddy cut him up when he was a kid… and then a while later in the movie, he says he became the Joker because he slashed himself up with a razor blade to please his wife.

I’m not sure if the guru in question really was lying. But it’s certainly possible.

Because there are genuine psychos in the business world. And my guess is they are over-represented in the rogues’ gallery of successful gurus, particularly in various marketing and “make money” niches.

Only, unlike in comic books, these real-life psychos don’t dress like the Joker and don’t telegraph their psychopathy with a mad grin. Quite the opposite. As copywriter John Carlton once wrote:

“First, don’t get fooled by people with impeccable manners and loads of charm. I’ve run into more than my share of sociopaths in life, and I’ve actually enjoyed being around them (before I realized what I was dealing with)… These hard-core mofo’s are tough to identify, because they’re good at lying… and good at telling you what they think you want to hear. They’re like ‘Human Whisperers’… they observe humans the way horse whisperers observe and get into the heads of horses… and they can be very, very good at passing themselves off as caring, loving people.”

I’m certainly not telling you to become paranoid and suspicious of everyone you meet.

But when it comes to people who sell online, it’s good to remember that your instincts for who’s trustworthy and who’s not can be manipulated. Perversely, the more quickly and instinctively you trust an online personality, the more your Spidey sense (Batman signal? — apologies for mixing comic book universes) should be going off.

Anyways, here’s another tip:

It’s hard to maintain a psycho facade after a lot of contact over a long period of time. Therefore, if you want to demonstrate your non-psychopathy, one way to do that is to communicate regularly with your audience.

Which is one reason why I write a daily email newsletter, mostly about persuasion, marketing, and manipulation — for psychopaths or not. If you’re interested in trying this newsletter out, click here.

Today’s magic announcement

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“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
— Arthur C. Clarke

Maybe you heard today’s news:

This year’s Nobel Prize for chemistry is going to UC Berkeley professor Jennifer Doudna for her 2011 discovery of the CRISPR/Cas9 mechanism.

From what I understand, CRISPR is a set of “genetic scissors” that allow you to turn an elephant into a mouse, and a mouse into a louse. In other words, it’s pure magic.

I don’t doubt CRISPR works or that it might one day cure HIV, Huntington’s disease, or sickle cell anemia. But the fact is, I have no idea how it works. On a deep level, I never will. And yet, I’m incredibly excited to read about it, and marvel at the sorcery that is possible today.

My point in bringing this up is something I heard copywriter Parris Lampropoulos say once:

We all believe in magic in one form or another.

Maybe it’s your brand of religion… maybe it’s 34th-century science like CRISPR… maybe it’s karma or vibrations or Wicca or whatever.

But one way or another, human beings want magic in their lives.

They don’t want mundane solutions that improve things a reasonable amount. They want magic — a button to push or a wand to wave or a pill to swallow — which will achieve the impossible, and thrill them in the process.

You might think that’s a tall order. But it’s a good target to shoot for, if you’re in the business of selling people what they want.

Speaking of which:

If you’re looking to be thrilled and surprised, every day, then you might like my email newsletter. To make it magically appear in your inbox, simply click here and fill out the form which pops up out of nowhere.

“Manipulative tactics are the norm”

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Here’s a confession:

I’ve long dreamed of taking my copywriting and marketing skills beyond.

Beyond what?

Beyond selling dog seat belts and online real estate investing courses and herbal supplements that make aged skin look less aged.

Yes, I’ve dreamed of getting into politics and fundraising. But except for a spurt of advertorials that I wrote during the 2016 election for a now-arrested scammer, I haven’t had much opportunity to do political work.

Even so, the field continues to fascinate me. And that’s what I want to tell you about today.

A friend just sent me a link to a website created by some nerds at Princeton University. They collected over 259,000 political emails, and they made this giant corpus available and searchable online.

What’s more, they did some analysis. And they found that “Manipulative tactics are the norm in political emails.”

No shit.

It turns out fake urgency (“FEC deadline!”)… fake reasons why (“matching your contribution”)… fake subject lines (“NOT asking for money”)… and fake offers (“please donate to complete your survey response”)… are all very standard.

Maybe you find that revolting, and a sign of the times. But I am a cynical donkey, so this made me think just two things:

1) The basics of manipulation are all you really need to get decent results, and

2) There is opportunity to squeeze out more money out of people with better marketing

And that is why I am now announcing my candidacy as a marketing and fundraising consultant, available for hire by any political party.

If you are interested, please submit your inquiries by email immediately, because I’ve already been contacted by all the major campaigns, and I need to make my decision before the FEC deadline at midnight tonight.

And if you are not yet ready to hire me to help with your campaign… or if you have no campaign to help… then maybe you still share my perverse fascination with the world of politics and fundraising. In that case, you might like my daily email newsletter, which deals with the seedy side of marketing and copywriting. You can sign up for it here.

Connecting the dots for the “good” class of prospect

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“Because there are three classes of intellects: one which comprehends by itself; another which appreciates what others comprehended; and a third which neither comprehends by itself nor by the showing of others; the first is the most excellent, the second is good, the third is useless.”
— Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince

As Machiavelli says in the quote above, there are three classes of prospect.

The first will seek out your offer and figure out for themselves that this is just what they need.

The second will see the light with a bit of help from you.

The third really aren’t your prospects at all, and no amount of clever persuasion will get them to buy.

The trouble is that many marketers only speak to the first group. They present features and benefits of their offer as they themselves imagine them.

But expert persuaders take it one level further.

​​They connect the dots for people. They provide imagination and logic that the prospect himself won’t bother with — and they create a problem where the prospect doesn’t see one yet.

Copywriter Victor Schwab said this connecting the dots is “usually either completely ignored or underestimated by the preceptors of advertising and its practitioners.”

Don’t be among these lazy practitioners of marketing. Connect the dots for your readers, and do the work for them, because large rewards await you if you do.

But perhaps I’m not connecting the dots for you on how to do that. In that case, you might like to sign up for my daily email newsletter.

Try not to enjoy reading this post

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Hypnotist Mike Mandel says that there is a magic power word, which you can use to get people to fail. What’s more, if you find yourself using this word to describe your own actions, expect that you will fail also.

What is this magic word?

I’ll tell you but be careful. The word is “try.”

Mike has all sorts of technical explanations for the destructive power of try. But my best evidence (and maybe yours, if you give it a try) is just by looking inside my own brain software. Whenever I found myself saying, “I’ll give it a try,” or “I’ll try my best,” deep down, I found I was expecting to fail. And often, fail I did.

I’m telling you this for two reasons:

First, it might be worth kicking the word “try” out of your own vocabulary, down to the curb with the rest of the head trash. It might take some time to find other words that will express what you want to say. But when you do, you will probably find the effort was worth it.

Second, if you write copy, then you can use the word “try” to get other people to fail. Why would you want to do such a cruel thing? Well, a classic example is the three-pronged road at the end of so many sales letters:

“So here are your options now. Option one is you can go back to what you were doing before, pulling your hair out and picking at your skin while your unsolved problem mounts and your family looks at you with growing suspicion each passing day.

“​​Option two is you take the breakthrough system I’ve just described to you and TRY to implement it yourself. But you know how that’s going to turn out, don’t you?

“​​And then finally, you’ve got option three, which is to accept the risk-free offer I’m making you today. And then just try not to shout with joy when your problem is finally solved…”

Finally, I’d like to announce that I write a daily email newsletter. Try not to sign up for it. But if you find you aren’t successful, then click here and follow the instructions.

Challenging the “easy” norm in direct response marketing

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“Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success.”
— Apocryphal Ernest Shackleton ad

I had a miserable hike up a mountain yesterday.

Right at the start, I had to scramble up steep boulders. I was soon out of breath. Then the wind picked up, and whipped my ears until my head hurt. Then the fog rolled in, and it got cold and damp. Large frost crystals appeared on the occasional plants. And yet I, along with a growing mass of other people around me, trudged up in silence to the top of the mountain.

At the top, all that waited for me was a tiny and steamy hut, where they served hot tea. It was great, and totally worth it.

My point being:

A good number of human beings want a chance to prove themselves, to test their strength, even to suffer in order to achieve some goal.

And yet direct response marketing is all about making things easy and push-button, and appealing to the greedy sloth in people.

Is there space for a little noble sado-masochism in the slothful world of marketing?

Maybe.

​​I remember reading how marketer Sean D’Souza accidentally made his article-writing course much harder than he first intended it to be. I forget the details, but he mistakenly told his course attendants to write much more, in a much shorter period of time, than what was reasonable.

People taking the course suffered… lost sleep… got tense and nervous.

​​And when it was all over, they raved about the course, and became evangelists for it. Sean now has a waiting list for the course, which he markets as being famously difficult.

Direct marketing industry norms say that you have to provide easier, cheaper, faster solutions. But as marketer Dan Kennedy says, norms reinforce average.

​​So maybe, if you are looking for a market position that gets you above-average results, then promising your clients and customers struggle, expense, and many weeks and months of it, well, maybe it’s not a crazy idea to try.

Speaking of which:

Men (and women) wanted to subscribe to my daily email newsletter. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours spent reading the emails I send each day. Marketing lessons doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. If interested, apply here.

Taking your reader on a rewarding flight to nowhere

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This July, two Taiwanese airlines, Eva Air and StarLux, started offering flights to nowhere.

This means you could schlep to the airport, have the discomfort of going through security, waiting to board, cramming yourself onto the plane with a bunch of other junkies… only to have the airplane take off, circle around for a couple hours, and land in the exact same damn spot from whence you took off.

The point is that people are so starved for novelty, excitement, and newness that they are willing to pay to be uncomfortable and to pretend to travel somewhere.

Fact is, novelty and uncertainty are one of a few fundamental human needs. And most of us aren’t getting our fill.

Which is why, sadly enough, your sales copy can outperform others, if only it takes your reader on a tiny journey, all while he doesn’t even move from his La-Z Boy. Or as A-list copywriter Jim Rutz put it:

“You must surprise the reader at the outset and at every turn of the copy.”

But perhaps you are wondering about the mechanics of taking your reader on an rewarding flight to nowhere… or exactly what Jim means by surprising the reader at every turn.

If that’s the case, here’s a surprise for you:

I’ve written about this in detail in Commandment VII of my new book, 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters. If you’d like to find out more about this book, or even get a copy for yourself, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

The emotional manipulation of covid-sniffing dogs

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I read an article today about covid-sniffing dogs at airports in Finland.

Right away, I started fantasizing about being sniffed by some professional beagles and Jack Russels as we roll around the baggage claim area. But just as I was about to start checking flights to Helsinki, my bubble brast.

It turns out you don’t get to play with the dogs as they sniff you for virus load.

Instead, airport personnel take a swab of your scent and then take it to an office, where, I imagine, a very serious dog sits behind a desk piled with tons of other swabs. “Just put it over there,” the serious dog says, “I’ll take care of it in a second.”

Reading this entire article was quite the emotional rollercoaster, and it reminded me I want to get a dog.

But before I lose you, I want to say there is a copywriting lesson here.

I heard Internet marketer Ken McCarthy say once that you want to paint a beautiful picture of success for your prospect, and then throw a wrench into it. First you get the reader to already feel and imagine the glorious outcome… and then you disappoint him, and show him why he’s not there yet. (Because of course, the only way to really get to that glorious outcome is through your offer.)

And vice versa.

Lots of times it makes more sense to glorify pain and shame instead of success.

​​So you paint a picture that makes your reader feel just lousy. But if you do this, you immediately have to hold out an olive branch to him, in the form of an offer (or at least a promise) that can that can take that pain and shame away.

In both cases, it’s emotional contrast that does the manipulation — I mean, persuasion. So the next time you’re writing a story, or trying to close a sale, give ’em the old push & pull, good cop/bad kawp, covid-sniffing dogs routine. Though your prospects won’t admit it, it’s the way they want to be sold.

But be careful. Do this wrong and you can piss off your prospects, and lose them forever. To make sure that never happens to you, sign up for my daily marketing and copywriting newsletter.

Selling fake diamond rings because Christmas

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My client in the ecommerce space is now selling fake diamond rings.

So I just wrote some Christmas-focused Facebook video ads for these fabulous pieces of jewelry, targeting the women who buy fake diamond rings for themselves (yes, it’s not cheap husbands and boyfriends who are the target audience here).

Will this “Treat yourself because it’s Christmas” campaign work?

I believe it’s got a good shot. Here’s why.

You probably know the famous “copy machine” experiments from Harvard University.

They showed you can get people to do your bidding if you just give them a “because” and some kind of reason why. The reason why doesn’t even have to be any good.

Of course, these experiments are not just about the magical power of the word “because.” They are also about fundamental human psychology, which also applies to making sales.

Think of your prospect’s desire like a volcano, lying dormant at first. Your copy — “a gorgeous ring with an optically flawless stone” — gets the magma boiling and bubbling under the surface, inside the volcano.

But all that hot desire still needs to be released.

So you start to drill different tiny tunnels in the cone of the volcano. Some of these tunnels don’t do anything. But finally you drill the right tiny tunnel… and the volcano wall ruptures. All that boiling lava comes pouring out and scorching everything in its way.

In less geological terms, it’s not enough to just stir up tons of desire. You also have to give people a way to justify acting on that desire. There are lots of ways to make the volcano finally explode… but an occasion, even if it really makes no sense, is a good one to try.

Speaking of which:

I write a daily email newsletter about marketing and persuasion. Sign up for it here. You know… because Christmas.