Productivity

Sales copy written by hallucinatory voices

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True story:

An otherwise healthy woman, identified only as AB, suddenly started hearing voices in her head.

The year was 1984. The place was England.

The voices reassured AB they were medical professionals trying to help her. They even gave AB some convincing secret info to prove their claims.

But AB concluded she was going insane. She went to a psychiatrist and was prescribed an antipsychotic medication.

The voices stopped. AB, relieved and happy, went on holiday.

​​But then the voices returned. They told her to head home. They sent AB to an unknown address. It turned out to be a medical center specializing in brain scans. The voices told AB to get one of those brain scans on her own noggin.

AB’s doctor was initially reluctant — brain scans are expensive and the woman was crazy — but in the end, AB got her brain scan. And then another.

It turned out that, even though she showed no symptoms, she had a large tumor inside her skull.

One brain surgery later, and the tumor was removed.

After AB regained consciousness following surgery, the voices told her, “We are pleased to have helped you. Goodbye.” AB never heard from them again, and she continued to live a normal and healthy life.

AB’s psychiatrist, who wrote up this report, said that his colleagues fell into two camps:

Group one thought this was proof positive of benevolent telepathic communication.

Group two thought AB was a big ole grifter, and that she was inventing this story as a way of getting free access to the UK’s health services (AB wasn’t born in the UK, but she had lived there for 15 years before this case).

The psychiatrist offered a third explanation. Even though AB wasn’t manifesting any symptoms, it’s likely that the large tumor in her head made her feel somehow off. It’s possible that her unconscious started slyly gathering relevant information and making its own diagnosis. Eventually, this erupted in AB’s head as hallucinations.

I find this third explanation plausible. And I bring it up for two reasons.

First, it meshes well with how I imagine my sense of self. And that’s a flimsy wooden raft, floating on the surface of a dark and deep loch.

Reason two is that this might help reduce your workload.

Because writing is work. But you know what’s not work? Having ideas pop up in your head without any effort.

For example, I sometimes just “visit” what I want to write. I look over the topic and any research I might have collected. I then go do other stuff and allow the monsters under the surface to digest that information.

For me, there’s no work. I don’t have to do it. All I have to do is simply write it down.

Maybe you can try the same. Just put a lump of an idea into your head. Then go about your day. When you start hearing voices, calmly reach for a writing apparatus and take dictation. And when the voices finish, don’t forget to say thank you, and invite them to visit you again.

“Sign up,” a voice in your head is saying right now. “Sign up to this guy’s email newsletter. He has interesting and valuable things to say.”

What’s that? You say you want to sign up to my email newsletter? Well, I don’t usually do this, but all right. Here’s how you can get in.

The bad news opportunity

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“It’s easy to give lip service to, as well as to try to be entertaining about it… but it’s really a very serious point. And the people I’ve been around, who really have the Midas touch when it comes to money, they’re really very good at this.”
— Dan Kennedy, Wealth Attraction for Entrepreneurs seminar

The ancient Greeks believed in a goddess named Nemesis. Her role was to punish people who’ve had an excessive run of unbroken good luck.

The Greeks knew, just the same as every other people in history has known. Just the same as you know right now:

You can’t have an infinite run of good luck.

Maybe. Not unless you make your own.

I talked a couple of times in the past week about Joe Sugarman. And I’ll keep talking about Joe, because there’s a lot more to the guy than just the hundreds of millions of dollars he made with his orange-tinted BluBlockers sunglasses.

One thing was that Joe saw every problem as an opportunity.

For example, one time when he ran an ad in the WSJ, selling a calculator, Joe screwed up. The price in his ad was cheaper than retail. The manufacturer was furious.

“I have dealers all over the country calling me and complaining,” the manufacturer screamed at Joe.

“Don’t worry,” Joe said, “I’ll fix it.”

So he ran a second, smaller ad announcing the mistake, raising the price, and giving consumers just a few days to respond at the old price. The new ad outpulled the original ad.

That’s what Dan Kennedy is talking about above.​​ People who have a skill for making money — like Joe — have really quick recovery when something bad happens.

​​After all, everything can ultimately be some kind of opportunity, they figure, and looked at in the long-enough term, all news is good news of some sort. Might as well see that sooner rather than later.

Sounds impossible?​​

Last year, I decided to try this idea out for a week.

“Have quick recovery,” I told myself. “All news is good news.”

As I made that decision and wrote it down in my journal, I felt an unpleasant sensation, like I got hit by a big wave. Something was wrong with me physically, and I felt like I might suddenly pass out. I have no idea what happened, and it was gone the next moment.

Normally, if something like this happened to me, I would get concerned, maybe hesitant, maybe look for signs something else bad is about to happen.

Instead, this time, I just shrugged my shoulders, smiled, and got curious. “What good is going to come of this?” I wondered.

Try it yourself. It’s liberating. Plus you might have good ideas come from it. You might even make some money that you wouldn’t have made otherwise.

Make the decision, right now, that for the next week, whenever something seemingly bad happens, you will remind yourself that something good will come of this. You might not see it yet. But what are some ways it could happen?

Maybe it will happen by you signing up to my email newsletter. Or maybe not. Only one way to find out.

The most powerful and trite-sounding idea I’ve accepted over the past year

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A few days ago, I was out for a morning walk when I saw a dad and his eight-year-old son walking towards me. I got to hear a bit of their conversation:

“Dad, did you like going to school?”

“It wasn’t bad. My friends where there.”

“It’s not bad for me either. But I still don’t like it.”

They dropped out of hearing range. But I thought to myself, “Smart kid.”

Maybe I just thought that because I also didn’t like school, even when my friends were there. In fact, I would say I hated school.

I hated being told what to do. I hated the arbitrary stuff I had to do. I hated being forced to sit there all day long. It was like working in an office, but I wasn’t getting paid.

Fortunately I’ve been out of school for a while now. And now I do get paid for the work I do, plus I even enjoy it.

I’m not exactly sure how I got here. But I do know that at some point, I sat down and made a list of things I enjoyed doing up to that point… and another list of things I didn’t enjoy, or even hated.

I came back to both lists occasionally. And over time, without trying hard, I experienced more of the things on the first list. And over time, again without trying hard, I somehow eliminated all the things on the second list.

There’s a bigger point in there.

The most powerful ideas I’ve internalized over the past year is also one of the most trite-sounding. I heard it for years, and each time I just rolled my eyes. The idea is simply this:

Bring your attention to what you want.

Over the past year, I realized this isn’t some “law of attraction” fluff. Rather, it’s practical advice.

Get things out of your head. Write down what you want, to the best of your knowledge. Also write down what you want to stay away from. And then come back to those lists regularly.

Making and reviewing those lists might be all you have to do to stick it out for the long term and enjoy the process.

Because in my experience, success comes from figuring out how to play the long game. Even if that means eliminating things that everyone says are important and good — like school.

Ok, on to business:

You might be wondering what this work is that I do. It’s mainly writing, specifically, copywriting. Like I said, I enjoy it, and I find it pays very well. If it’s something you’re interested in learning more about, sign up for my daily email newsletter, where I write more about copywriting, and occasional “law of attraction” fluff.

7 minutes to productivity

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Let me tell you how I prepared to write this email:

I set a timer on my phone for seven minutes.

Then I sat down at the kitchen table, put my head in my hands, and started to press my thumb against my teeth. ​​I stared out the window… I stared at the sad house plant across from me… I tapped my fingers on the chair. I played the Bee Gees “You Win Again” in my head, and I realized I don’t remember the lyrics. I gradually got more and more antsy, tapping my foot on the floor, looking out the window and trying to peek into the neighbor’s house.

Finally, just as I was ready to jump out of my skin, the timer rang, and my seven minutes were up. ​​I got to work right away.

And that’s the idea I want to share with you.

I once read an article by marketer Sean D’Souza. Sean was talking about how he organizes his work day. He separates his tasks in different blocks. And in between each block, he takes a special kind of break:

He gets down on the floor, puts two books under his head, and just lies there.

I tried Sean’s system exactly, including the two books. But each time, within a minute, the same thoughts raced through my head:

​​​”What the hell am I doing? Why am I lying here? I’m not tired. If I want a break from work, fine. But let me go read a magazine for a minute or check my email or at least wash the dishes.”

That was a mistake. Because whenever I did go do something, well, that would often stretch out into 10, 15, 30 minutes. And at the end of my “productive” break, I’d have to force myself back into work.

I realized only later the essence of Sean’s system.

It’s to do nothing.

​​Even seven minutes of doing nothing drives me slightly insane. I find I’m eager and thrilled to get to work.

​​Plus the fact that I haven’t done anything — well, except playing the Bee Gees in my head — this usually allows all kinds of surprising ideas to bubble up. Ideas which would have been suppressed had I gotten external stimulation, even if that meant washing the dishes.

Perhaps this won’t be useful to you.

After all, perhaps you’re not like me. Perhaps you have a deep and broad capacity for work because of ingrained self-discipline. Or perhaps you genuinely look forward to the work you do.

I find I actually enjoy the work I do. Even so, I always feel resistance to getting started, and getting re-started after a break. In my experience, expectation is nothing like experience.

That’s why taking short do-nothing breaks has worked great for me. I get my work done sooner. I do better work, because I get more use of that time of day where I’m good for anything. Plus I find it very easy to convince myself to start doing nothing, and I find it even easier to stop.

So that’s my productivity idea for you. Try out my do-nothing breaks. Or think up your own tricks to work harder, with more focus and intensity.

Because working harder is the difference between huge success and failure.

​​If you have nothing else going for you, can go far simply by working harder. The good news is, like Gene Schwartz said once, working harder doesn’t mean working longer. In fact, it can even mean working shorter. Or doing nothing at all.

Are you still here?

This email is done. In record time. But if you’d like to read more essays I write about marketing, copywriting, and personal change, sign up here for my newsletter.

Not getting things done: The art of stress-free productivity

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A few days ago, I had the cool idea to create a referral program for this newsletter, something like the Morning Brew has.

So if you refer one person, maybe you get an “Insights & More” sticker… for three referrals you get a fridge magnet… for five, you get a coffee mug, because nothing motivates action like a free coffee mug.

I found this idea addictingly attractive, much like the idea of having enough money in the bank to live off interest alone.

So I started to fantasize:

“All I really have to do is get one person to refer me to four others… and then two of those four to refer me to eight others… and then four of those eight…”

Pretty soon, I figured, my list would exceed the total number of atoms in the known universe.

But in spite of this geometric growth potential, I won’t be implementing this referral program now, and probably not ever.

I’ll tell you why. Maybe it will help you to get more value out of your time, and save yourself the stress and frustration of going down blind alleys.

I recently started a 4/4 value/time system for new ideas.

I rate each idea on a 1-4 scale for its possible value. 1 is no value or doubtful. 2 is certain but small. 3 is large value. 4 is “should have done it already.”

And similar for time. 1 is “ongoing project without clear scope or timeliness.” 2 is weeks or months to complete. 3 is hours or days. 4 is “can do it now.”

So every idea that springs out of my head now gets evaluated on these 1-4 scales.

The referral program got a 1/2. The value is doubtful. The time to implement it would probably be on the order of weeks.

So no to the referral program, but that’s ok. I’ve got lots of other ideas, including some that warrant a 4/4.

The bigger point being, you have to be willing to let things not get done.

The fact is, and I’ve seen this in my own life, it’s possible to achieve transformations very quickly.

But in order to do that, you have to focus on the one or two things that really make a difference. The way you get the energy and time to do those things regularly is to kill off cool but distracting ideas.

So there you go.

Use my 4/4 system. Or come up with your own. But figure out which things you can leave undone today, and most likely, forever.

And then watch as your success starts to bubble and mushroom to unseen levels… like money in the bank that compounds faster than you can take it out.

And if you need more ideas to help with your productivity:

You might like my daily email newsletter. I write about marketing, copywriting, and personal development. You can sign up for it here.

Glorious past and a glorious future — but the present…

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After I finished high school, I worked in a bookstore for a year.

One night, while I was working the register, I noticed we had these chocolate-covered coffee beans for sale.

I grabbed a bag, ripped it open, and threw one of these suckers into my mouth.

Of course, it was sweet and smooth chocolate on the outside. But when I bit through it, I got to the bitter, chalky coffee bean in the middle.

It left a bad taste in my mouth.

Ok, no problem. I just had another chocolate-covered coffee bean — and the bad taste was instantly fixed.

The sweet chocolate on the outside took care of the bitterness left lingering from earlier.

But then again, I was left with that charcoal-like coffee bean in the middle.

The rest of the evening was a blur. When I came to, hours later, I noticed a half dozen empty bags of chocolate-covered coffee beans all around me. I was sweating, scratching my face, glancing furiously at customers who avoided making eye contact with me.

I hadn’t thought about this scene for years but for some reason it connected to a quote I read recently. It comes from Eric Hoffer who wrote:

“There is no more potent dwarfing of the present than by viewing it as a mere link between a glorious past and a glorious future.”

Hoffer was writing about how leaders of mass movements get people to make big sacrifices. We were great once, these leaders say, and we will great again one day. Whatever is happening right now is nothing in the cosmic scale of history.

This attitude is effective at the mass movement level because it is effective at the individual level. At least for the right profile of person.

For example, I personally had a big realization over the past year.

​​I realized I spend a lot of time daydreaming about how glorious life will be after I just achieve a few more things. And I wince when I think back on the times when I was more productive, successful, or happy than I am right now.

The fact is, that’s how I feel much of the time, regardless of what’s going on in my life externally.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not telling you that it’s not worthwhile working to achieve anything.

​​The fact is, working towards a goal is one of the sure-fire ways I’ve found to feel positive in life.

But what I am telling you is:

You’ve gotta learn to enjoy the present now, as much as you can. This includes the process of working to achieve anything.

Otherwise, you might come to, years later, with a half dozen completed projects all around you… and find yourself sweating, scratching your face, and thinking furiously of the next fix that can take the bad taste out of your mouth.

And now for business:

If you are working to achieve anything, you might find you need good marketing and writing ideas to help your project become a success. In that case, you might like my newsletter, because these are topics I write about on most days. You can sign up here.

Two copywriting cowboys and a first draft

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This morning, I found myself, frown on my face, jaw clenched, staring out the window. I was actually stroking my chin, that’s how deep in unpleasant thought I was.

I was trying to come up with a way to start this email.

Finally, disgust swept over me. “Let me just write something, anything,” I said to myself. “In the worst case, it will be terrible. And I will just have to rewrite it.”

In case you’re starting to get a little nervous about where this email is going, let me ease your mind:

This isn’t me cowboy hollering at you to to git ‘er done.

Instead, I just want to remind you — and really, myself — of something I heard in an interview with Parris Lampropoulos.

Parris is one of the most successful copywriters working over the past few decades. He has something like an 80% success rate at defeating control sales letters. And he makes millions of dollars while working on only three or four projects a year.

Even so, Parris doesn’t produce winning copy straight out the gate.

In that interview, Parris said something like:

“When I first sit down and write the bullets for a promotion, I always think I’ve lost it. They’re terrible. Everybody will find out I’m a fraud. Then I rewrite the bullets once, and I think, maybe I will be able to get away with it. Third and fourth rewrite, they’re starting to look pretty damn good.”

So if somebody as successful, proven, established, revered, and experienced as P-Lamp still gets feelings of horror and doubt when he looks at his first draft… then maybe it’s okay if you and I also feel the same.

Or in the words of another A-list copywriter, Clayton Makepeace:

“Don’t compare YOUR first draft with MY 16th draft.”

“Thanks John,” you might say, “but I really don’t need encouragement to keep fiddling with my copy. I do that aplenty already.”

I feel you. I can revise my copy endlessly, moving a single word from place A to place B, and back again, over and over, a dozen times. There’s obviously a point at which it stops paying for itself.

But it’s good to still remind yourself that other people work the same way, including some of the best of the best. It can help you stay sane.

And just as important:

Reminding yourself of the power of rewrites can help you get going in the first place. Like what happened with me with this email you’re reading now.

So that’s all the cowboy hollering I have for you today. And now on to business:

I bring up both Parris and Clayton since they feature many times inside Copy Riddles.

That’s because both Parris and Clayton were a couple of the slowest — but most deadly — gunmen in the Wild West of sales copy. Here’s one of Parris’s bullets that wound:

“How to use an ordinary hairbrush to quit smoking.”

I discovered the secret to this (and many similar) brain-teasers by looking at Parris’s bullet… as well as the actual book he was selling.

The trick Parris used to write this bullet is simple. You can discover it in round 17 of Copy Riddles. Once you know it, you too can write intriguing stuff like this “hair brush” promise, on demand.

And then you can rewrite it… and rewrite it… and rewrite it some more. And slowly, it will start to look pretty damn good.

Anyways, enrollment for Copy Riddles closes tomorrow. So if you’ve got a hankering for some A-list copywriting skills, then pardner, head over here:

https://copyriddles.com/

Boiler rooms in Tirana

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A couple weeks ago I was in Tirana, Albania. I got to talking with one of the locals and it turned out he works in a boiler room.

“We do forex,” he explained. “We invest their money for them. Actually, we just take their money.” He shrugged. “Which country are you from?”

“Croatia,” I said.

“Ah. We don’t have any clients there. But Germany, Italy, France, Poland, Hungary — yes. I manage the sales team for the Hungarian market. It’s a very good market.”

I couldn’t believe it. “You have a team here of Hungarian forex sales people?”

“No no, all Albanians,” he said. “They learn a few phrases in Hungarian, the rest is in English. But it’s ok. These lawyers and doctors we call all speak good English.”

“Greed is universal,” I said to myself. “But how do you know who to call? How do you get their number?”

He looked at me like I’m an idiot. “They see an ad on the Internet. They click. They fill out the form with their info. Then one of our sales guys calls them. Then they give us all their money.”

Now I’m not an expert on boiler room tactics. But from what I know, it sounds like the same stuff that worked in 1972 works still in 2022. It’s just that the base of operations shifted from Chicago and Jersey City to other, less regulated locations like Tirana.

But the same system continues to work.

Of course, you don’t have to be a scammer. This basic funnel works even if you’re selling a legit, high-ticket offer, which can genuinely benefit your customers or clients. The sales system doesn’t care what you’re selling.

And equally as of course, this is not the only way to sell.

For example, the type of daily emails I write. Very hot right now. Many businesses want to do something similar. The promise is that you can build a relationship with your marketplace… without hard-selling… and instead, based on trust, influence, and personality.

Which is all true. But it ain’t new.

It goes back to Matt Furey… who probably got it from Dan Kennedy, who was sending weekly faxes, very similar in tone and content to what you’re reading now, but 20 and 30 years ago.

And if you asked Dan — if you could get him on the fax — I’m sure he would say that what he was doing then wasn’t new either. Somebody in the 70s and 50s and probably 1920s was probably doing the same long-form, personality-infused, frequent-contact marketing — just in a slightly different format.

So my point for you is that there’s a lot of value in knowing the history of your industry. Don’t be a scammer — I’m not advising that. But there’s almost nothing new under the sun, and it pays to know what came before you.

Which brings me to my offer, in case you didn’t take me up on it yesterday.

It’s to get a free copy of my Niche Expert Cold Emails training.

Because in my early days of working as a freelance copywriter, I hit upon two cold emails that got me client work.

​​Both of them were different from other cold email techniques out there. But I doubt they were truly new.

​​Had I been a better student, I probably would have found these ideas sooner, instead of having to wait to discover them on my own.

Whatever. You can do better than I did. Take advantage of my experience instead of fumbling around in the dark. Especially now that it’s free — well, free in money terms. For the full details:

https://bejakovic.com/free-offer-niche-expert-cold-emails/

Rescuing the Dread Pirate Roberts from a creative shipwreck

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“There will be no survivors… my men are here, and I am here… but soon, you will not be here…”

Here’s a little riddle for you:

How do three men, one of whom has been mostly dead all day long, storm a castle gate guarded by 60 soldiers?

Inconceivable, right?

​​Even if one of the three men happens to be a giant, and another a master swordsman… the enemies are too many. Success is inconceivable.

But what if you also throw in a wheelbarrow among your assets? And what if you even have a magical, fire-protective, “holocaust cloak”?

Suddenly, the inconceivable becomes easy. Because here’s what you do:

Just load one of the three men — preferably, the giant — into the wheelbarrow. Wrap the holocaust cloak around him.

Then start rolling the wheelbarrow towards the gate… and have the giant yell death threats at the soldiers as you approach.

Finally, just as fear and doubt start to creep into the hearts of the castle defenders… set the holocaust cloak on fire. Have your burning giant yell:

“The Dread Pirate Roberts takes no survivors… all your worst nightmares are about to come true… the Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your souls…”

Presto. The soldiers scatter in a panic, and you have taken the castle.

Perhaps you recognize this as a scene from the 1987 movie The Princess Bride, written by William Goldman.

But perhaps you also recognize it as something else, written by me in 2021.

Because about a month ago, I wrote an email about pirates. In that email, I was re-telling another scene from another William Goldman script, titled Sea Kings. That other scene had many of the same elements as the scene above:

First, a giant all-black figure who appears on the horizon at dusk, and who keeps floating nearer and nearer…

Then, the deep voice rumbling out from the figure… “Death or surrender… surrender or die… the Devil bids you choose…”

And finally, smoke and flames that erupt from around that black giant… to truly identify the legendary pirate you’re meeting face to face:

“Run up the white flag… It’s Blackbeard…”

It turns out Goldman reused a bunch of elements from Sea Kings (written some time in the 70s, never produced) to The Princess Bride (written some time later in the 70s, produced into a movie in 1987, became a giant hit and a big cultural icon).

The bigger point is that if you write a lot, you will eventually come up with a good idea, phrase, joke, motif, trick, transition, or image… which is part of a big creative shipwreck.

​​​Maybe that’s a book you never got published… or a video you made that nobody ever watched… or a daily email that ran too long and failed to make a clear point.

So why not reuse that good element a second, or a third, or a fifth time? In the right context, that rescued element might become highly influential, even though it was part of a disaster initially.

Take my email today, for example.

I hope you liked it. But maybe you didn’t.

If so, would you like me to try again?

As you wish. I’ll try again tomorrow, by rescuing an element of the copy I used today… and fitting it to a new purpose and a different format.

Good night, dear reader. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely write you an email in the morning.

Breaking the code of the highly successful person

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The sun is shining, I have an egg sandwich and a bottle of water for the road, and I’m ready to get in the car and drive across three countries in about as many hours.

But before I can do that, I have to finish this email and two more things. And that’s my point for you for today.

I recently read Dan Kennedy’s No B.S. Time Management For Entrepreneurs.

​​I long resisted doing so because the very words “time management” sound repulsive to me, a throwback to the time of Fred Flintstone slaving away at the rock quarry until the foreman yanks the pterodactyl’s tail to signal the end of the work day.

But boy was I wrong.

Dan Kennedy’s book is fantastic. I recommend it to anyone who is a driven go-getter (it will help you focus and get more done) or, like me, a lazy layabout by nature (it will still help you focus and get more done).

Anyways, towards the end of the book, Dan quotes a bit of wisdom he heard in his young days from success speaker Jim Rohn.

Dan says that, for him, this bit of wisdom broke the code of the highly successful person. It took all the mystery and mystique away. And here it is:

When you look closely at highly successful people in any field, you walk away saying to yourself, “Well it’s no wonder he’s doing so well. Look at everything he does.”

That’s what Jim Rohn used to say. To which, Dan Kennedy adds, “… and look very closely at the one thing or two or three things he gets done without fail, every single day.”

So there you go. My point for you for today. Figure out one or two or three things you will get done each day, without fail.

Perhaps you’re curious what my “without fail” things are.

Like I said, this email is one. Another, which i started only recently, is working on a new offer. And the third, which I’ve been practicing for most of my life, is reading. Because reading is really the fuel that drives any achievements I’ve had.

I’m not telling you to pick up these specific daily habits. Make your own choices.

​​But if reading is something you want to do every day, both for your sanity and for your success, then, again, I can recommend Dan Kenendy’s Time Management book. It’s a smart investment right now, because it will pay so much in time dividends tomorrow.

In case you want to check it out, you can find the Amazon link below:
​
https://bejakovic.com/time-management​​