Structure Of Copy and Content

It was a bright cold day in April…

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It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

I frowned. I bared my teeth. Two hours had passed since I sat down to write.

But I still hadn’t finished the email. All I had was a bunch of research and half-starts.

How much more time would I waste? Suddenly, ice water ran down my back. The deadline, I thought. It’s so soon.

Now I’ll be honest with you:

Writer’s block is not something I ever suffer from.

But I do suffer from writer’s fiddling… writer’s lack of focus… and writer’s doubt, which turns into writer’s backtracking.

I’ve found a few ways to manage these writer’s conditions. They don’t always work.

But thanks to a reader named Lester, I’ve now found a new way also. It works for writer’s block, too.

The technique comes from a marketing guy called Roy Williams. Williams gives it to you in three easy steps:

1. Randomly force upon yourself a dramatic opening statement BEFORE you know what you’re going to write about. [My tip: Google “weird opening sentences in books” and take the first result that comes up.]

2. Look for the defining characteristic of that statement.

3. Think about what you want to sell. Use the defining characteristic of the statement as the angle of approach into your body copy.

That’s it? Yep. I tried it. It works.

But here’s the thing that really gets me:

Williams performs this act on stage. He asks for a bunch of strange or shocking opening sentences. Then he brings a bunch of business owners up. He asks them what they would like to sell more of. And then he uses the process above to come up with cool ads for those business owners, right on the spot.

People think it’s magic. They even accuse Williams of planting stooges in the audience to set up the act.

But then Williams explains how to do this trick. It’s just what I told you above. It’s something anybody can do. But Williams says, nobody ever does it.

That’s the thing that really struck me. Because it reminded me of something I read early on in my marketing education. Fortunately, it came so early that it actually made an impact. Here’s the intro to it:

I’ll tell you something: This issue of my newsletter is going to make a lot of my readers very uncomfortable. Why? Simply because I know the difference between winners and losers and, in this issue, I’m going to put the choice right dead square in your face. I’m going to give you an extraordinarily simple set of instructions and, if you do what I say, your chances of becoming extremely prosperous are going to be magnified by a factor of at least 1,000!

But most of you are not going to follow these simple instructions. I know that already from past experience. And I even know already the reasons you’re going to give for not doing what I suggest. These are the same reasons everybody (including me) nearly always gives for not doing something which will make our lives better.

Does that make you frown or bare your teeth? Well, if you’d like to read more, and find out how to 1000x your chances of becoming extremely prosperous, before the clocks strike thirteen, here’s the rest of that thing:

https://www.thegaryhalbertletter.com/newsletters/aslz_winners_losers.htm

(And if you want to subscribe to issues of my own newsletter, for free, you can do that here.)

Hitchcock sales structure

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The exciting climax of Alfred Hitchcock’s North By Northwest goes like this:

Eva Marie Saint is about to fall off a cliff.

Cary Grant is reaching down to try to keep her from falling.

“I can’t,” she says.

“Yes you can,” he says.

And then one of the evil guy’s henchmen comes and starts to crush Cary’s fingers underfoot. But Cary needs those fingers to hold on to the cliff, and to keep himself and Eva from death below.

Like I said, that’s the climax.

But don’t worry.

It all turns out fine. The police arrive and shoot the evil henchman, who falls off the cliff. The main bad guy is caught. The secret microfilm is safe. And some time later, Cary and Eva, who made it off the cliff and got married in the meantime, head back east by train to start a new life together. The end.

Pretty usual Hollywood, right?

Right. The only unusual thing is the speed:

That entire anti-climactic sequence, from the moment Cary gets his fingers crushed to the train ride home, takes a total of 43 seconds.

​​43 seconds!

For reference, North By Northwest is a movie that lasts 2 hours and 16 minutes.

Of the total, 2 hours, 14 minutes, and 17 seconds goes to building up tension and misery.

The last 43 seconds goes to relieving it.

And yet people watch. And more relevant for us, they buy.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve previously had the task of selling many generic, unremarkable, sometimes suspect physical products. To boot, these products often sold at 3-4 times the price you could find on Amazon.

How can you possibly sell millions of dollars of a commodity at three times the price that anybody can get, just by shopping as they always do?

In my case, the answer was stories. Full of tension and misery. That’s how the bulk of the sales message went.

And when you thought things were bad, an evil henchman came to make it all worse.

The relief of all that tension, in the form of talking about the product, was really an afterthought. Not quite at Hitchcock levels, but still.

So that’s my takeaway for you.

Don’t sell overpriced crap.

​​But even if you sell something great, it probably makes sense to talk less about it than you want to. Instead, focus more of your prospect’s time and attention on that “I can’t/Yes you can” drama.

And in case you want more storytelling and selling ideas:

You might like my email newsletter.

How to get away with making extreme promises more often than you would ever believe

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In a recent email, A-list copywriter David Deutsch included the following P.S.:

P.S. Justin Goff says working with me enabled him to multiply his income 10 times over.

Not saying I’ll do that for you.

But it does show the power of getting the right kind of help improving your copy.

I call this frontloading. Here’s a second example of it, from an email by Ben Settle:

And it contains the exact same methods I used to land high-paying clients who could have easily afforded to hire better and more seasoned writers. But, using my sneaky ways, they not only hired me… they hired only me (often multiple times, plus referring me to their friends), without doing the usual client-copywriter dance around price, without jumping through hoops to sell myself, and without even showing them my portfolio, in most cases.

I used this info during good and bad economic times.

In fact, I got more high paying clients during the bad times (2008-2010) than the good times.

I cannot guarantee you will have the same results.

And the methodology doesn’t work overnight.

But, that’s how it worked out in my case, and this book shows you what I did.

So those are two examples of frontloading. It works like this:

First, you make a powerful, extreme promise. Then you qualify your promise. That way, you create believability… while still leaving the extreme promise ringing in your prospect’s head.

This works well as a way to organize a single sales argument (as in David’s case above). It can also shape your entire message (as in Ben’s email).

I think of it like grabbing a man by the shoulders and shaking him violently. Once his body goes limp and his head starts to swim, then you let him go and even dust off his shoulders and straighten out his rumpled shirt a bit.

In other words, you agitate and agitate your prospect… and then you agitate some more… and then you ask him to be reasonable.

Of course, you can also choose to be more subtle about it. You can only agitate a little bit, and then immediately get more reasonable. This can work well in your subject lines… or even your headlines.

Anyways, in case you want to get on board the most interesting email newsletter in the world, according to several marketers and copywriters who are subscribed to it, here’s where to go.

Chance encounters with Blackie

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And somewhere in the darkness
The gambler he broke even
But in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep
— Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

This morning, I started writing my bread-and-butter piece of copy. It’s an advertorial of a person on a quest.

In this case, the quest is a mom looking for a way to cope with her 8-year-old’s ADHD without drugs. I’ve also used the same quest structure to sell tens of thousands of shoe insoles, silicone kitchen sponges, even fake diamonds.

The quest has 3 acts.

Act 1 is the hero coming face-to-face with the horror of the problem… and then getting sucked deeper and deeper into promised solutions that don’t work or even make things worse. Despair sets in.

Act 2 starts with a chance encounter. And that’s what I want to tell you about today.

In my advertorials, this chance encounter is usually a friend or acquaintance the hero hasn’t met in a long while. The friend casually mentions the key missing ingredient for the hero’s quest.

At first, the hero is skeptical. But the friend isn’t pushy, plus there’s a good reason why the solution could work. So the hero goes home to do more research and— EUREKA!!

If this sounds familiar, it’s because something like it is present in more than 99% of all make money, rags-to-riches, “I was living in a trailer but look at me now” sales letters. The hero in those stories wouldn’t be the success he is today were it not for the trick he learned from a Yoda-like guru who lives on top of a mountain or in a gated retirement community in Florida.

In fact, according to Dan Kennedy, this same trope goes back to at least the middle of the last century. It’s called a “Blackie story.”

Old Blackie was this horse track regular until the day he died. He had a secret for bettin’ on the ponies… and then on his death bed, he revealed the secret to the writer of the sales letter.

What do you think? Corny? Overplayed? Transparent?

Think what you like. The fact is these Blackie stories work.

Because chance encounters in stories are like spike proteins on the surface of corona virus. They jam themselves into your soft defenses so the payload can worm its way in.

And if Blackie dies to boot, like The Gambler in the Kenny Rogers song, it’s even more powerful. Because the secret is now lost… unless you buy the product on sale.

This all reminds me of a run-in I once had with an old door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. He showed me a neat little trick to get your foot in the door, every time, without fail. It works brilliantly online too.

Unfortunately the poor bastard died just a few weeks later. Rest in peace, Jerome.

If you’re curious to learn Jerome’s “foot in the door” copywriting trick… it’s one of the things I share inside my email newsletter. It’s free to subscribe. You might find it entertaining, and you can always unsubscribe if you don’t like it. Here’s where to sign up.

The hidden structure of the best bullets. 2 parts needed. Here’s how you could have gotten both

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Over the past few weeks, while looking over dozens of bullets written by A-list copywriters, I realized the best bullets have a hidden 2-part structure.

I think being aware of this can help anyone write more powerful bullets… and become a top-tier copywriter in general.

For example, one bullet by Parris Lampropoulos that had this structure was so powerful it became the headline for Parris’s entire promotion. And the promotion went on to beat the control.

I covered both parts of this hidden structure in today’s lesson of my bullets course. You could have gotten that lesson for free, had you been signed up.

But it’s still not too late. Because I’ll be covering other bullet topics in the coming days… including special cases of both of those “hidden structure” parts.

In case you’d like more info about my bullet course, or even to sign up, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/bullets-signup/

A three-act election story

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I broke my long-standing rule of not reading the New York Times to bring you the following:

In Povalikhino, a tiny village in the Russian heartland, the incumbent mayor was running for re-election. But there was a problem:

He had no opposition candidate.

According to the NYT article, Russian elections always need an opposition candidate. That’s to make it appear fair, because the ruling party candidate always wins. Well, almost always.

In this case, the political machine went in search of a patsy to run against the mayor. They asked the local butcher, cobbler, and the high school chemistry teacher.

Nobody was willing to get roped in.

Fortunately, Marina Udgodskaya, the janitor at the mayor’s office, finally accepted the role of running against her own boss.

And she won. In a landslide.

Nobody’s quite sure where it all went wrong. But the fact is that the villagers of Povalikhino voted Udgodskaya into office. She now sits behind the mayor’s desk in the office she used to clean. She said her first priority will be to fix the public lighting in the village.

Meanwhile, the old mayor refuses to speak to the media. According to his wife, he never even wanted the job himself. He finds the topic of losing to the cleaning woman painful… and blames his wife. “You got me into this,” Mrs. Former Mayor reported her husband as saying.

I’m not sharing this story with you to illustrate the importance of voting. I’m of the school that voting doesn’t matter (well, unless you’re voting in a village of three hundred people).

Instead, I just thought this was a good story.

It’s got an Act 1, an Act 2, an Act 3. It’s got tension, drama, and surprise.

I bring this up because I often see people telling “stories” in copy that don’t have these basic elements.

“Mayor needs an opposition candidate, but cannot find one. The end.”

“Mayor needs an opposition candidate, gets a local lawyer to run against, and then the mayor wins as usual. The end.”

“Mayor needs an opposition candidate, which is how things go in Russia, for example this other time there was a second election and…”

Those are events, yes. But they are not stories — at least the kind that suck readers in and sell something.

Incidentally, if you want an education in how to write good stories in your copy… you can’t go wrong by reading the New York Times. Not for the facts. But to observe the outrage they evoke in their readers, and for the subtle sales techniques.

Or you can just sign up for my daily email newsletter. It’s not as outrageous as the New York Times. But it can teach you something about sales and storytelling. If you’re willing to take the risk, click here to subscribe.

Heartbroken boy turns ecommerce vigilante

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“This dog seat belt was created by a grieving dog owner…
He was heartbroken after his best friend didn’t recover…
‘Rosco was in the back seat when we had a serious car crash’
So he decided to join a star product designer…
To create a revolutionary car safety device for dogs…
This is the story of Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox”

A short while ago, I wrote about a Facebook ad format that’s working right now for selling ecommerce products.

The ad consists of stock footage video clips, overlaid with subtitles that tell a story.

But what story?

Well, for the stuff my client sells… it’s an, ahem, invented founder story. You can see the start of one above.

But here’s the thing. These are not just any founders. These are superhero founders. I mean that seriously.

For example, the ad above is channeling Batman — somebody with a crushing personal tragedy… delivering vigilante justice. (The real ad didn’t use Bruce Wayne as the name.)

I’ve also seen other advertisers channel:

1) Iron Man (“This Japanese billionaire marshaled his immense engineering skill and industrial resources to create a really comfortable pillow”)

2) Spider-Man (“This precocious-yet-typical teenager set out to save the world by inventing a silicone kitchen sponge”)

3) The Hulk (“This mild-mannered but brilliant scientist was transformed by an explosion and now MUST SMASH FREEZER BURN”)

My point is twofold:

First, if you’re selling stuff on Facebook, these superhero video ads are worth a try.

Second, whatever copy you’re writing (or having others write), it is always worth going back to story archetypes. ​​If a story template has proven itself decade after decade, century after century, odds are good you can use it to sell more dog seat belt – or whatever your vigilante justice leads you to sell.

Want more exciting coming book storylines for your marketing? You might like my daily email newsletter. Click here to subscribe.

Launching offers for the coming crisis

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In Columbus, Ohio, judges have relocated eviction hearings from the courthouse to the city’s convention center. The justice system needs space — more people than usual are about to be thrown out onto the street.

And no wonder.

Corona-era eviction bans are expiring in many places, and federal aid ended last month. As a result, more than 30% of American households expect to miss their rent payments in August.

Come September, 20 million renters will be at risk of evictions. And even if they aren’t evicted, this will cause mass problems further up the food chain.

Small landlords, who are counting on that rent money, will be at risk of defaulting on their mortgages.

When that happens, expect the Grim Banker to swoop in with his scythe, and to heartlessly start cutting down both landlords and renters.

I’m not telling you this to paint an ever-bleaker picture of the current crisis.

Instead, I do it to illustrate a copywriting technique I talked about last week.

That technique is having an occasion to your copy.

Over the past few days, I’ve talked to two business owners. Both guys have popular websites offering info on real estate investing. And both recently launched new entry-level products. Neither product did great.

One reason I can imagine for the many shrugs that met these offers is that neither product had any occasion. In other words, the marketing for the products didn’t answer the question, “Why am I seeing this offer now?”

The thing is, if you’re in the real estate space, there is an incredibly powerful story you can tell right now to answer that question.

That story has high stakes (millions of homeowners betrayed by the system, trillions of dollars up in the air)…

… it’s got villains everybody can rail against (the Grim Banker above, and his minion, the incompetent government bureaucrat)…

… and it’s got an unlikely hero — your prospect — who gets the call, and who rises to the challenge of making himself mounds of money while helping his fellow citizen.

Of course, maybe you are not in the real estate space. In that case, the current moment might not offer such a clear-cut occasion to hitch your sales copy to. But if you look a bit, there’s almost certain to be a reason somewhere in the current mess, and probably a good reason, to give occasion to your specific offer.

I’ll certainly be on the lookout for such occasions, whether for real estate or for other businesses my clients are in. If you want to get updates as I write more about these topics, you can sign up for my daily email newsletter here.

Don’t rape your audience

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Today’s post is on the subject of email marketing, a rather milquetoast topic. The hook, though, is jarring — rape.

I didn’t think of that hook. Instead, it comes from William Goldman, somebody I’ve mentioned often in these emails.

Goldman was first a successful novelist and later a successful Hollywood screenwriter and then again a successful novelist.

Along the way, he also wrote a non-fiction book called Adventures in the Screen Trade. I’m reading it now. It’s a combination of memoir and an insider’s look into Hollywood, specifically as it was in the 60s and 70s of the last century.

Somewhere in the Adventures book, Goldman talks about the most important part of a screenplay — the beginning. And it’s here that he writes the following:

“In narrative writing of any sort, you must eventually seduce your audience. But seduce doesn’t mean rape.”

Specifically, Goldman is contrasting movie writing to TV writing. At the beginning of a movie, Goldman says, you have some time. You can seduce. Things are different in TV land — you gotta be aggressive, right in the first few seconds. Otherwise the viewer will simply change the channel.

I had never thought about this difference. But it makes sense. And it makes me think of…

Sales copy, which is definitely on the TV end of the seduction/rape spectrum. Just think of some famous opening lines of blockbuster VSLs:

“Talk dirty to me”

“We’re going to have to amputate your leg”

What about email copy? Much of it also opens up in the same aggressive way. Here are a few opening lines I just dug up from recent sales emails in my inbox:

“MaryAnne couldn’t take it anymore:”

“In 1981, a dirty magazine published an article that had the potential to make its readers filthy rich.”

I always assumed this is just the way good copy is — VSLs or emails or whatever. Of course, that’s not true.

When I actually look at some of my favorite newsletters (and even some successful sales letters), they don’t have an immediate and aggressive grabber. Instead, they build up and work their way into their point — without rambling, but without aggression either.

The difference comes down to the relationship you have with your list. Some businesses, including some businesses I’ve worked for, have little to no relationship with their list. Each email they send out is like a random infomercial popping up on TV — if it doesn’t capture attention right away, it never will.

But some businesses have a great relationship with their list. They can afford to take the time to light the candles and sip the wine and stare seductively at their reader across the table. In fact, if they didn’t, things would seem off.

Is it possible to go from one style of email marketing to the other?

I believe so. In my experience, people tend to mirror your own emotions and behavior. That means you’ll have to take the first step if you want things to change. Rather than waiting for your list to have a better relationship with you… start seducing, and stop trying to rape.

Now that we’ve warmed up the conversation:

I also have a daily email newsletter. You can subscribe for it here. And if you do subscribe, I promise to… well, I won’t go there.

Bubonic plague and sales letter reverse-engineering

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In my bimonthly visit to The Daily Mail to get my fix of shock news, I found out something worrying:

There is a plague, brewing right now in the Far East, ready to bring the world to its knees. And no, I’m not talking about the one infecting us all with face masks.

Instead, the literal, bubonic plague is back, bubbling up in a region of Mongolia that borders both China and Russia.

(In other words, you’re not even safe indoors any more).

I didn’t realize the bubonic plague has stuck with us all these years. But according to the WHO, there were thousands of cases of the plague even in the last decade, mostly in Africa and South America. And in the early 20th century, even California had its own plague outbreak, with the epicenter first being San Francisco and then Oakland.

Of course, the biggest plague of them all was the Black Death. It raged through Europe between 1347 and 1351, and killed around 50 million people, about a third of the continent’s population.

Since I spend so much time thinking about copywriting and marketing, this made me think of Lee Euler’s famous Plague of the Black Debt promo, and a presentation A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos gave about it.

Way back when, Parris was a young, struggling, in-debt copywriter. But when the Black Debt promo landed in his mailbox, Parris wound up paying for the newsletter, even though he had no money to invest. The copy was simply that persuasive.

Several hundred thousand people did as Parris did. In fact, this promotion was so successful that people were calling Agora’s offices to buy copies of the promotion, so they could give it to their friends and loved ones. In other words, people were willing to pay to hear the sales pitch.

So Parris thought to himself… if there’s a piece of copy so powerful that it could get some dude with no money to buy an investment newsletter… maybe it might be a good idea to analyze it, see what the secret sauce is.

He wound up breaking it down, paragraph by paragraph, line by line.

And within a year, Parris went from struggling and being in-debt to having 3 controls for big financial publishers.

In the presentation I watched, Parris goes through the Black Debt promo and breaks it down for an audience. I won’t repeat what he said here. For one thing, this was part of a paid product. For another, it wouldn’t be interesting if I rehash it.

However, I’ve noticed a lot of people asking how to actually study successful sales letters. As in, what do you actually look for? There’s even a paid offer out right now, specifically teaching you how to analyze controls.

To me this seems overkill. But if you are just starting out, and are wondering what to look for in a successful DM promotion, here’s a list of questions to ask. These are the questions Parris addresses throughout his presentation., As you’ll see, they aren’t what you might expect:

1. Look at the format. Sales copy usually mimics a well known format like a letter or a video or a documentary. What is the format of this copy mimicking? How is it congruent with the message?

2. Look at the copy surrounding or preceding the main copy (eg. the ad, email, or envelope that gets them there). How does it position the main copy to come?

3. Look at the way the copy kicks off — the headline and the lead. How do they tap into what’s swirling around in the reader’s mind at that exact moment?

4. Look at the headline versus the subhead. How do they complement and complete each other, in terms of emotions, promises, and even format?

5. Look at the lead or the author’s bio. How do they communicate the author’s power? (Power in the literal sense of, “This is a powerful person who could help me. Finally I could have somebody powerful on my side.”)

6. Look for the proof. Where does it appear in relation to the claims it supports?

7. Look at logical arguments. How do they disguise emotional arguments as well?

8. Look for analogies, stories, anecdotes, and historical precedents. How do they prime your brain into accepting claims it might not accept otherwise?

9. How does the copy tap into the fear that you’re being left behind, manipulated, excluded, lied to?

10. How does the copy dismiss alternatives, and position itself as the only option?

11. Where and how does the copy introduce surprises, twists, turns, and genuine novelty?

12. How does the copy guarantee you’re getting a sure thing? Yeah, it’s probably got an actual guarantee. But is there more to it than that?