Structure Of Copy and Content

Heartbroken boy turns ecommerce vigilante

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“This dog seat belt was created by a grieving dog owner…
He was heartbroken after his best friend didn’t recover…
‘Rosco was in the back seat when we had a serious car crash’
So he decided to join a star product designer…
To create a revolutionary car safety device for dogs…
This is the story of Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox”

A short while ago, I wrote about a Facebook ad format that’s working right now for selling ecommerce products.

The ad consists of stock footage video clips, overlaid with subtitles that tell a story.

But what story?

Well, for the stuff my client sells… it’s an, ahem, invented founder story. You can see the start of one above.

But here’s the thing. These are not just any founders. These are superhero founders. I mean that seriously.

For example, the ad above is channeling Batman — somebody with a crushing personal tragedy… delivering vigilante justice. (The real ad didn’t use Bruce Wayne as the name.)

I’ve also seen other advertisers channel:

1) Iron Man (“This Japanese billionaire marshaled his immense engineering skill and industrial resources to create a really comfortable pillow”)

2) Spider-Man (“This precocious-yet-typical teenager set out to save the world by inventing a silicone kitchen sponge”)

3) The Hulk (“This mild-mannered but brilliant scientist was transformed by an explosion and now MUST SMASH FREEZER BURN”)

My point is twofold:

First, if you’re selling stuff on Facebook, these superhero video ads are worth a try.

Second, whatever copy you’re writing (or having others write), it is always worth going back to story archetypes. ​​If a story template has proven itself decade after decade, century after century, odds are good you can use it to sell more dog seat belt – or whatever your vigilante justice leads you to sell.

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Launching offers for the coming crisis

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In Columbus, Ohio, judges have relocated eviction hearings from the courthouse to the city’s convention center. The justice system needs space — more people than usual are about to be thrown out onto the street.

And no wonder.

Corona-era eviction bans are expiring in many places, and federal aid ended last month. As a result, more than 30% of American households expect to miss their rent payments in August.

Come September, 20 million renters will be at risk of evictions. And even if they aren’t evicted, this will cause mass problems further up the food chain.

Small landlords, who are counting on that rent money, will be at risk of defaulting on their mortgages.

When that happens, expect the Grim Banker to swoop in with his scythe, and to heartlessly start cutting down both landlords and renters.

I’m not telling you this to paint an ever-bleaker picture of the current crisis.

Instead, I do it to illustrate a copywriting technique I talked about last week.

That technique is having an occasion to your copy.

Over the past few days, I’ve talked to two business owners. Both guys have popular websites offering info on real estate investing. And both recently launched new entry-level products. Neither product did great.

One reason I can imagine for the many shrugs that met these offers is that neither product had any occasion. In other words, the marketing for the products didn’t answer the question, “Why am I seeing this offer now?”

The thing is, if you’re in the real estate space, there is an incredibly powerful story you can tell right now to answer that question.

That story has high stakes (millions of homeowners betrayed by the system, trillions of dollars up in the air)…

… it’s got villains everybody can rail against (the Grim Banker above, and his minion, the incompetent government bureaucrat)…

… and it’s got an unlikely hero — your prospect — who gets the call, and who rises to the challenge of making himself mounds of money while helping his fellow citizen.

Of course, maybe you are not in the real estate space. In that case, the current moment might not offer such a clear-cut occasion to hitch your sales copy to. But if you look a bit, there’s almost certain to be a reason somewhere in the current mess, and probably a good reason, to give occasion to your specific offer.

I’ll certainly be on the lookout for such occasions, whether for real estate or for other businesses my clients are in. If you want to get updates as I write more about these topics, you can sign up for my daily email newsletter here.

Don’t rape your audience

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Today’s post is on the subject of email marketing, a rather milquetoast topic. The hook, though, is jarring — rape.

I didn’t think of that hook. Instead, it comes from William Goldman, somebody I’ve mentioned often in these emails.

Goldman was first a successful novelist and later a successful Hollywood screenwriter and then again a successful novelist.

Along the way, he also wrote a non-fiction book called Adventures in the Screen Trade. I’m reading it now. It’s a combination of memoir and an insider’s look into Hollywood, specifically as it was in the 60s and 70s of the last century.

Somewhere in the Adventures book, Goldman talks about the most important part of a screenplay — the beginning. And it’s here that he writes the following:

“In narrative writing of any sort, you must eventually seduce your audience. But seduce doesn’t mean rape.”

Specifically, Goldman is contrasting movie writing to TV writing. At the beginning of a movie, Goldman says, you have some time. You can seduce. Things are different in TV land — you gotta be aggressive, right in the first few seconds. Otherwise the viewer will simply change the channel.

I had never thought about this difference. But it makes sense. And it makes me think of…

Sales copy, which is definitely on the TV end of the seduction/rape spectrum. Just think of some famous opening lines of blockbuster VSLs:

“Talk dirty to me”

“We’re going to have to amputate your leg”

What about email copy? Much of it also opens up in the same aggressive way. Here are a few opening lines I just dug up from recent sales emails in my inbox:

“MaryAnne couldn’t take it anymore:”

“In 1981, a dirty magazine published an article that had the potential to make its readers filthy rich.”

I always assumed this is just the way good copy is — VSLs or emails or whatever. Of course, that’s not true.

When I actually look at some of my favorite newsletters (and even some successful sales letters), they don’t have an immediate and aggressive grabber. Instead, they build up and work their way into their point — without rambling, but without aggression either.

The difference comes down to the relationship you have with your list. Some businesses, including some businesses I’ve worked for, have little to no relationship with their list. Each email they send out is like a random infomercial popping up on TV — if it doesn’t capture attention right away, it never will.

But some businesses have a great relationship with their list. They can afford to take the time to light the candles and sip the wine and stare seductively at their reader across the table. In fact, if they didn’t, things would seem off.

Is it possible to go from one style of email marketing to the other?

I believe so. In my experience, people tend to mirror your own emotions and behavior. That means you’ll have to take the first step if you want things to change. Rather than waiting for your list to have a better relationship with you… start seducing, and stop trying to rape.

Now that we’ve warmed up the conversation:

I also have a daily email newsletter. You can subscribe for it here. And if you do subscribe, I promise to… well, I won’t go there.

Bubonic plague and sales letter reverse-engineering

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In my bimonthly visit to The Daily Mail to get my fix of shock news, I found out something worrying:

There is a plague, brewing right now in the Far East, ready to bring the world to its knees. And no, I’m not talking about the one infecting us all with face masks.

Instead, the literal, bubonic plague is back, bubbling up in a region of Mongolia that borders both China and Russia.

(In other words, you’re not even safe indoors any more).

I didn’t realize the bubonic plague has stuck with us all these years. But according to the WHO, there were thousands of cases of the plague even in the last decade, mostly in Africa and South America. And in the early 20th century, even California had its own plague outbreak, with the epicenter first being San Francisco and then Oakland.

Of course, the biggest plague of them all was the Black Death. It raged through Europe between 1347 and 1351, and killed around 50 million people, about a third of the continent’s population.

Since I spend so much time thinking about copywriting and marketing, this made me think of Lee Euler’s famous Plague of the Black Debt promo, and a presentation A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos gave about it.

Way back when, Parris was a young, struggling, in-debt copywriter. But when the Black Debt promo landed in his mailbox, Parris wound up paying for the newsletter, even though he had no money to invest. The copy was simply that persuasive.

Several hundred thousand people did as Parris did. In fact, this promotion was so successful that people were calling Agora’s offices to buy copies of the promotion, so they could give it to their friends and loved ones. In other words, people were willing to pay to hear the sales pitch.

So Parris thought to himself… if there’s a piece of copy so powerful that it could get some dude with no money to buy an investment newsletter… maybe it might be a good idea to analyze it, see what the secret sauce is.

He wound up breaking it down, paragraph by paragraph, line by line.

And within a year, Parris went from struggling and being in-debt to having 3 controls for big financial publishers.

In the presentation I watched, Parris goes through the Black Debt promo and breaks it down for an audience. I won’t repeat what he said here. For one thing, this was part of a paid product. For another, it wouldn’t be interesting if I rehash it.

However, I’ve noticed a lot of people asking how to actually study successful sales letters. As in, what do you actually look for? There’s even a paid offer out right now, specifically teaching you how to analyze controls.

To me this seems overkill. But if you are just starting out, and are wondering what to look for in a successful DM promotion, here’s a list of questions to ask. These are the questions Parris addresses throughout his presentation., As you’ll see, they aren’t what you might expect:

1. Look at the format. Sales copy usually mimics a well known format like a letter or a video or a documentary. What is the format of this copy mimicking? How is it congruent with the message?

2. Look at the copy surrounding or preceding the main copy (eg. the ad, email, or envelope that gets them there). How does it position the main copy to come?

3. Look at the way the copy kicks off — the headline and the lead. How do they tap into what’s swirling around in the reader’s mind at that exact moment?

4. Look at the headline versus the subhead. How do they complement and complete each other, in terms of emotions, promises, and even format?

5. Look at the lead or the author’s bio. How do they communicate the author’s power? (Power in the literal sense of, “This is a powerful person who could help me. Finally I could have somebody powerful on my side.”)

6. Look for the proof. Where does it appear in relation to the claims it supports?

7. Look at logical arguments. How do they disguise emotional arguments as well?

8. Look for analogies, stories, anecdotes, and historical precedents. How do they prime your brain into accepting claims it might not accept otherwise?

9. How does the copy tap into the fear that you’re being left behind, manipulated, excluded, lied to?

10. How does the copy dismiss alternatives, and position itself as the only option?

11. Where and how does the copy introduce surprises, twists, turns, and genuine novelty?

12. How does the copy guarantee you’re getting a sure thing? Yeah, it’s probably got an actual guarantee. But is there more to it than that?

“Meanwhile, back at the copywriting ranch…”

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“The longer [the evangelist] can hold interest, the more people he can convince — and the greater will be the number who will inevitably walk forward and ‘hit the sawdust trail.’ The less able he is to hold interest for a sufficient time, the greater will be the number who will inevitably walk out.”
Victor Schwab, How to Write a Good Advertisement

The most memorable lesson I learned from my former copywriting coach had to do with keeping the reader’s interest. It was most memorable because it made so much sense. And yet, it went against all my instincts for how I normally write.

It’s actually a well-known writing trick.

I’ve come across the same idea in an episode of Every Frame a Painting, the YouTube video essay series. The episode in question actually revealed behind-the-scenes secrets — the underlying structure that made each essay so interesting.

Among other tricks, there was something called “Meanwhile, back at the ranch.” In a nutshell, each episode would have multiple story lines. When one story reached a peak of interest, it would cut out.

“Meanwhile, back at the ranch…”

… and another story line would pick up. When that reached a new level of interest, it would cut out again, to switch to another story line. And so on.

This might seem silly simple when I lay it out like this. After all, that’s pretty much how every soap opera and TV show works.

But like I said, it’s not how most people write. At least that’s not how I naturally write. I usually want to express my point in a logical, linear — and boring — order.

Which brings me back to my former copywriting coach. He likened the structure of a sales message to a spiral that winds around the linear, logical skeleton of the points you need to make. The reader should never know for sure what you’re going to say next.

If you do create that winding spiral, you will keep your prospect interested. And like Vic Schwab wrote above, the longer you can keep your prospect interested, the greater the chance he will walk the sawdust trail. That means more conversions made… and more shekels in your collection box.

No collection box here at the moment. But if you want more of this kind of evangelical content, here’s where to sign up for my email newsletter.

Shutting the drawer on the Rule of One

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“One good idea, clearly and convincingly presented, was better than a dozen so-so ideas strung together. That rule made a difference. When we obeyed it, our essays were stronger. When we ignored it, they were not as powerful as they could have been.”
– Michael Masterson

I first read about the Rule of One in Michael Masterson and John Forde’s Great Leads. You get a feel for the rule in the quote above. In a nutshell:

Focus on one idea, one emotion, one problem — not a dozen.

I read Great Leads early in my copywriting education, and the Rule of One sank deep into the fresh soil of my newbie brain. I’ve been following this rule ever since. And here you are, reading what I write.

Only one problem though.

Even though Michael Masterson says his favorite essays and stories all follow the Rule of One, I can’t say the same. In fact, I can think of lots of great content that looks and reads like a grocery list:

– James Altucher’s post “11 or 12 Things I Learned About Life While Daytrading Millions of Dollars”

– Dan Ferrari’s email “35 direct response lessons from 35 years on Earth”

– The Every Frame a Painting video “Akira Kurosawa – Composing Movement” (which covers five ways that Kurosawa used movement in his shots)

But you might say, those are all examples of content, not sales copy. All right then, here’s a relevant quote from Gary Bencivenga about sales copy:

“I know this sounds like heresy, but I’d much rather have in a good direct mail package three or four or 10 good reasons to buy, than to have to sacrifice nine of them in favor of the one USP. The USP really can be misapplied to direct marketing where you have the luxury of closing the sale on the spot and can give one dominant reason to buy but also seven or eight other reasons. You don’t have to abide so religiously to a single Unique Selling Proposition.”

Maybe I’m simply misapplying the Rule of One, or maybe I don’t understand what it really says. And I do think there is value in focused writing.

But for me personally, I am moving the Rule of One from the “rule” drawer and into the “tool” drawer. Focusing on just one idea can be useful in a given situation… but it’s not something to obey blindly. Perhaps you’ll consider whether this makes sense for you too.

Anyways, if you’re interested in reading James Altucher’s post above or watching that Every Frame a Painting episode, both are easy to track down on the Internet.

Not so with the Dan Ferrari email. Dan doesn’t archive his emails anywhere. So if you want to get them when he sends them out, you’ll have to be on his list.

And even then, you might have to wait a while, because Dan emails very rarely. (I guess he’s too busy counting all the zeroes on his royalty checks.) But when he does send something out, it tends to be great, like the “35 lessons” email above. So if you want to sign up to Dan’s list so you don’t miss his next (sporadic) email, here’s where to go:

http://www.ferrarimedia.com/

How to lose the pork belly without sweating or starving

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It might seem like nonsense at first blush.

But it’s possible to lose fat — not just weight, but fat — without sweating your heart out or starving yourself to the brink of insanity.

The secret is olive oil.

If you’re a health-conscious person, maybe you think I’m just telling you to switch to a Mediterranean diet.

Or that the “antioxidants” in olive oil will somehow cause fat to melt.

Or that there’s some magic in the monounsaturated fatty acids, as compared to the usual butter or lard or canola oil or sunflower oil.

Well, it’s none of those things.

In fact, I’m talking about a kettle of fish that’s so different you will never spot it in a pet shop.

If you’re interested in finding out what I have in mind, then Google the late Seth Roberts and his Shangri-La diet.

Because I’m not really here today to talk about weight loss. Instead, I wanna talk copywriting.

And specifically, I wanted to share with you an “unlikely solution” lead (ahem, above) that I saw in a magalog by Parris Lampropoulos (Parris was making the same claim but with yoga, not olive oil).
​
Anyways, here’s how you do the lead:

1. It might seem crazy but [here are the benefits] — [without the usual crap].

2. The secret? [unlikely solution].

3. [List typical objections].

4. None of these are true!

And here’s the thing. This formula doesn’t actually have to be the lead. You can insert it wherever you decide to introduce your product.

Such as for example, after an opening story, or after you’ve badmouthed the alternatives.

This is something I’ll try in an upcoming advertorial.

Speaking of which, I’m working on my guide to writing story-based advertorials. If you want to get notified when it’s out, you can sign up here:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials