Bejako the email clown

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About a week ago, I sent out an email about a budding email copywriter who made me an offer I could refuse. I got the following reply to that email:

Honest feedback.

This email does not sound like your personal voice.

There’s a uniqueness in the way you phrase things and keeps me reading. I sense a difference in this email. I don’t know if this an earlier version of you.

I sat there for a moment, staring at this reply, tilting my head from side to side like a confused beagle.

What exactly was the intent behind this reply? What was I to do with this honest feedback?

I never did figure it out.

But I’ll tell you what I will not do.

I won’t go through my “budding email copywriter” email, figuring out where my tone of voice went wrong. I also won’t go through other emails, reverse-engineering what a proper Bejako email sounds like. And I certainly won’t poll my readers and say, “Please tell me what you like about my online persona, so I can give you more of what you like, and less of what you dislike.”

I recently discovered the term flanderization.

On The Simpsons, the character of Ned Flanders went from being a good neighbor, who served as a foil to Homer Simpson, to being an annoying religious fundamentalist.

​​In other words, Flanders became more and more of a one-dimensional caricature of himself over the course of the many seasons of The Simpsons.

It’s not just The Simpsons. The same thing happens with other shows and other characters, including those that people play in email newsletters like this one.

I’ve often written that I’m in it for the long game with this newsletter.

That’s why my prime directive is to make writing these emails fun and interesting for me personally.

But painting myself into a corner of what I can and cannot say — because not it wouldn’t be in line my tone of voice or online persona — well, that’s neither fun nor interesting for me. I’d rather be free to say what I want to say, when I want to say it, even if it makes me sound off-brand on certain days, and like a clown on others.

Anyways, this probably doesn’t benefit you in any way. Not unless have an online presence, or are planning to start one.

But if you are putting some aspect of yourself out there regularly, maybe my perspective on it can be helpful to you somehow.

And here’s something else that might be helpful, at least if you are interested in copywriting, marketing, and persuasion.

A repetitive exercise you can practice daily to level up as a copywriter and marketer

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This past summer, in reply to a particularly fluid and thrilling email I had written, a reader wrote in:

Very thrilling and fluid email – and you weren’t even selling anything.

I don’t do copywriting again, but I’ll handwrite this one.

I’ve hand copied copy before, including daily emails. I found it useful in that it forced me to slow down and actually read the damn thing. In this way, I spotted some things I wouldn’t have spotted otherwise.

But as I’ve written before, I never found any magic in hand-copying stuff.

​​Instead, I find that there are faster and more effective “neuroimprinting hacks” than cramping up your hand and sweating up your brow while word-for-wording other people’s stuff.

In the words of hack & tactic master Ben Settle:

I have long been convinced — and been proven correct time, and time, and time again — that simply learning, understanding, applying, and mastering the basics & fundamentals of marketing, copywriting, persuasion is probably the most powerful marketing “hack” you can ever possibly possess.

That might not sound like much of a “hack”. But if you read that quote once or twice more, and maybe give it a bit of thought, you might be able to come up with something like a hack — or at least a repetitive exercise you can practice daily to level up as a copywriter and marketer.

And if not, I got some possibly bad, possibly good news for ya:

​​Unlike in that previous fluid & thrilling email, today I am selling something. ​​It’s my Most Valuable Email course, which teaches you just what I have been preaching in this email — a repetitive exercise you can practice daily to level up as a copywriter and marketer.

In case you are interested:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

“THE GIRL WHO SEEMED TO DIE” and other effective renamings

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True story of a disgruntled employee:

Back in 1986, Disney was set to release a new movie called Basil of Baker Street, based on a book by the same name.

​​But studio execs thought the title was too cryptic, so they renamed the movie to telegraph what it’s really about. The result was The Great Mouse Detective.

This didn’t go over well with the people working on the movie.

​​Ed Gombert, an animator on Basil of Baker Street, wrote up a slightly bitter office memo, claiming Disney has decided to rename other classics in its portfolio. The new titles included:

“SEVEN LITTLE MEN HELP A GIRL”
“THE WOODEN BOY WHO BECAME REAL”
“COLOR AND MUSIC”
“THE LITTLE DEER WHO GREW UP”
“THE GIRL WITH THE SEE-THROUGH SHOES”
“THE GIRL IN THE IMAGINARY WORLD”
“THE AMAZING FLYING CHILDREN”
“TWO DOGS FALL IN LOVE”

etc etc.

The joke memo became widely circulated inside Disney. Disney CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg was not impressed. He did his best to ferret out who had written the sarcastic note, without success.

​​To make things worse, the memo eventually leaked out and resulted in an article in the LA Times. Suddenly, everybody was talking about the new Disney film, but for all the wrong reasons.

Or was it really all that wrong?

After all, The Great Mouse Detective, with its prosaic new name, went on to become a big commercial and critical hit.

It wouldn’t be the first time that’s ever happened.

​​I once read a book called The First 100 Million, by E. Haldeman-Julius, publisher of the Little Blue Books. The Little Blue Books were a phenomenon for much of the 20th century, and sold hundreds of millions of copies. Some were fiction, but mostly, they were practical how-to info about health, self-help, relationships, etc.

The most interesting chapter of The First 100 Million is about The Hospital. That’s where Haldeman-Julius took poorly selling titles and performed a radical operation — he renamed the books, including some classics. Results:

“The mystery of the iron mask” => “The mystery of the man in the iron mask”: 277% jump in sales

“Ten o’clock” => “What art should mean to you”: 450% jump in sales

“Fleece of gold” => “The quest for a blonde mistress”: 833% jump in sales

So while it’s good to be creative if you are an animator, maybe it’s not so good if you are naming a product and hoping for lots of sales.

Therefore, I would like to announce I am renaming my too-poetic Most Valuable Email course. From now on, the course will be called:

“How to use an email copywriting trick to turn ordinary and rather boring emails into something clever and cool”

I’m still reworking the sales page to account for this change and expansion in the name. But in case you’d like to get your paws on this soon-to-be classic right now, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

My best Ben Settle impression

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Spanish copywriter Iván Orange, who bought my Most Valuable Email course, reports:

===

I want to take the opportunity to tell you that the day after I read MVE, I sent my list a first [MVE trick] email, using an idea from one of your swipe file emails.

That day I sold one of my courses, which made me make 5 times more the investment in MVE, so I’m looking forward to keep improving in this technique and make many more sales.

Hope you are very well John, I keep reading you.

Iván.

===

Let me do my best Ben Settle impression and say:

Not everyone gets results like this.

Before ever writing a single email using my Most Valuable Email trick, Iván built a large email list, products that people want to buy, and credibility in the industry.

For reasons that are ultimately beyond me, most people will never do the groundwork Iván has done and build up the same kinds of assets for themselves, so they too can be in a position where they can send one email and make $500 in return.

But wait.

I’m not done imitating Ben or negative striplining you.

I make lots of promises for my Most Valuable Email course. But in spite of Iván’s experience above, making 5x ROI in the first 24 hours is NOT one of those promises. Not because you cannot use my MVE trick make sales, But because it’s overkill. If all you want to do is to make quick and short-term sales, there are easier ways to do that.

On the other hand:

If you want to grow your email list… create interesting products that people want… and build up your credibility in the industry… all with an email copywriting trick you can learn in under an hour… then those are promises I do make for MVE.

Whatever the case, get your lovin’ here:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

Isla de Muerta positioning

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I recently rewatched the original Pirates of the Carribean movie, and I was reminded of the dreaded Isla de Muerta.

It’s a mystery island, maybe just a legend, where Captain Barbossa docks his ghostly Black Pearl, and where he keeps the cursed treasure of Hernan Cortes.

But don’t bother searching for Isla de Muerta on a map. Don’t make the foolish mistake of ever trying to sail to it yourself.

Only those who already know where the island is can ever find it.

That’s just like the positioning that A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos has.

​​I listened to Parris on a recent episode of the Chris Haddad podcast. I have stopped listening to marketing and copy podcasts. But whenever Parris makes a new public appearance, once every few decades, I make sure to listen, and probably multiple times.

Because Parris is the one person in this industry that I have learned from the most and that I have modeled the most.

I’ve learned copywriting tricks and tactics from Parris.

I’ve learned mindset and attitude and work practices.

And I’ve learned business of copy strategies.

Which brings us back to Parris’s positioning. Here’s how Parris explains his positioning, including why he gives talks so rarely:

“No website, no business card, not on social media, unlisted number, gotta know somebody who knows somebody to get to me and then maybe I’ll work with you. If I give all these talks it goes against my positioning. It looks like I’m trawling for work.”

In other words, if any ambitious business owner wants the marketing treasures hidden inside Parris’s head… well, that business owner has to have worked with Parris before, or at least know somebody who has.

This kind of positioning might seem entirely impractical to you right now.

And Parris himself admits he hasn’t had this positioning in the early days.

In fact, he kicked off his freelance career by going to Kinko’s, printing out hundreds of copies of a sales letter selling his own services, and then standing outside of a direct marketing convention, trembling with fear and handing out his sales letter to anyone who would take one. That landed him his first five clients.

Still, if you are interested in learning from the most successful people, then there’s no denying Parris is among them in the direct response industry.

And his “mystery, maybe just a legend” positioning might be worth using as a bearing to take you where you want go eventually go. The same way that Captain Jack Sparrow uses his crooked compass, which won’t point north, to track down Isla de Muerta.

Anyways, on to my Most Valuable Email offer.

Parris once, and only once, held a paid and public training. It included a bunch of super valuable bonuses, including a document titled, “A technique for improving your writing overnight.”

Parris advised his copy cubs, and anybody who paid for his training, to copy this document by hand three times.

Why?

Reason one — or so I suspect — was that the document laid out some important writing advice.

Reason two was that this document used my Most Valuable Email trick.

Like I’ve written before, I haven’t invented this trick. A few very smart and successful marketers have long used it in non-email media.

But nobody has used it in emails as often, and with such good results as I have.

If you are curious to learn this mysterious, maybe legendary trick yourself, then get out your broken compass, jam your tricorn hat onto your head, and set sail for this horizon:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

Dildos and a sex swing: Just another reply to one of my emails

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Back in May, I got a strange reply to an email in which I wrote about a storytelling technique. The reply started:

Pervert.

I see you standing outside. Looking through my window.

**I invite you in​​**

“Press the doorbell”, I say.

DING, DONG. You press it.

This reply went on, talking about what I supposedly saw when I entered this guy’s house — dildos, a man in a gimp suit, and a sex swing.

I sighed. Sometimes I get people responding to my emails with some unsolicited spec copy, trying to demonstrate they really understood the idea I shared in the email. This spec copy is always a bit bizarre and not quite enjoyable to read. I thought that’s what this reply was also. But I was wrong.

After skimming through this unsolicited story, I got to the end:

You rudely interrupt me…

“I’m sorry, but what the fuck even is this? And who are you?”

Allow me to introduce myself properly, I state in a strong British accent whilst smoking a cigarette, coughing slightly and holding a pint of beer.

My name is Michael Johnson

And I am the greatest V.A that ever lived.

The greatest!

I can help you with many of the tasks you need doing and make your life easier.

Let’s setup a time to talk.

Aha. This actually surprised me, in a positive way. I wrote to the guy to say I don’t need a VA, but that he had some copy chops, and that I wish him luck.

And then, last week, as you might know, I sent out a newsletter email with a job advertisement in it. I was looking for somebody like a VA, but ideally, somebody who would also have some copy chops.

So the question becomes, why didn’t I just contact that guy who replied to my email back in May? He seemed to be perfect — or at least a very good — fit for what I was looking for.

Why ignore him, and why instead go to my list, and to the two dozen applications it produced?

I read a bit of paranoid wisdom once. I can’t remember where, or who wrote it. Maybe you will recognize it and can tell me where it’s from. It goes something like this:

Don’t be part of anybody else’s agenda. If somebody unknown approaches you, you are by default part of their agenda.

That’s not to say you should never start new relationships or do business with strangers.

But it does say that if you see a sexy ad on your Instagram feed… or you get a cold email from somebody with an attractive offer… then there are probably many more people who are willing to make a similar offer. Sometimes, that first ad or cold email will really be the best option for you. But many times it won’t.

In the pickup/seduction/dating advice world, there’s a saying:

if you’re not one of the chosen, become one of the choosers.

What I’m telling you is that, even if you are one of the chosen — or you appear to be — it often makes sense to do a bit of extra work, and to become one of the choosers. At least that’s what I find in my own life.

All right, on to my offer for you for today.

Today, as for the past 10 days, and probably for a few days more, I am promoting my Most Valuable Email course.

That’s my agenda for you. But don’t be part of my agenda.

Take a look around. See if you can find anybody else offering to help you build authority in the direct response industry… grow your email list by word-of-mouth alone… and turn yourself into a more valuable marketer and copywriter — all with a simple email copywriting trick that you can learn in under an hour.

If you do find somebody like that, maybe this person will be a better choice for you than me, and my Most Valuable Email training.

But if your search turns up fruitless, and if you decide you would like those benefits, and you would like them from me, then can get my Most Valuable Email course here:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

How to get (and keep) testimonials from A-list copywriters

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A reader asks:

Hi John,

How do you get testimonials from well-known and A-list copywriters?

Thanks

I can only share my experiences.

I got one testimonial from an A-list copywriter in consequence of my book 10 Commandments of A-list Copywriters.

​​The A-list copywriter in question, somebody I refer to often in my Copy Riddles program, read that 10 Commandments book, enjoyed it, and wrote me to say so.

The second testimonial from a truly A-list copywriter came in the mail — actual physical mail.

​​This second A-list copywriter sent me, or had his assistant send me, a hardcover copy of his own book as a gift, along with a handwritten note saying he enjoyed my blog/emails.

That was a really nice gesture.

But then what? My problem, in the slightly twisted words of Jerry Seinfeld, is that:

I know how to get A-list testimonials… I just don’t know how to keep A-list testimonials.

Because in my own self-defeating way, I wrote both of the A-list copywriters above to say thanks for their comments (and for the gift of the book).

And I left it at that.

I didn’t think to ask if I could use their comments and their names in public. Without asking, I don’t really feel fine flaunting their private messages as public endorsements. And now a lot of time has passed, and I feel dumb writing to follow up and ask about it.

So there you go. If you want A-list testimonials:

1. Write a book or daily emails that people enjoy

2. Wait patiently until an A-list copywriter stumbles upon what you’ve written and contacts you to say something nice about it

3. Follow up within a reasonable time-frame to ask whether you can use that nice comment as a public testimonial

But perhaps that’s not what the reader above had in mind. Perhaps she was looking for a shortcut. Perhaps she was looking — and here you might expect me to promote my Most Valuable Email trick.

But the fact is, there is no shortcut, at least not one that I can see.

​​From what I can see, the three steps above are all necessary. Maybe you can hurry along the “stumbles upon what you’ve written” part. But you still have to write, and write a lot, and write stuff that people will enjoy. And that takes time, and patience.

So what about that Most Valuable Email trick? All I can tell you is this:

It has helped me write daily emails that people enjoy.

And some of those emails have resulted in testimonials from well-known and A-list copywriters, which I was (finally) smart enough to follow up about, and ask to use in public.

The same can happen for you — if you have the willingness and patience to actually use my Most Valuable Email trick, day after day.

In case you’re one of the few rare souls who would like to get started on that today, rather than waiting for tomorrow:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

Pity poor Dan Kennedy and his chauffeured luxury sedans

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I’m at the airport as I write this, sitting and staring out the big windows at the still-dark tarmac. Next to me, there are a bunch of people standing and waiting in queue at the gate, just because the gate is there to be queued at.

​​They’ve been at it for over 15 minutes now. I have better ways to use that time.

Besides jotting down my notes for this email, I want to buy a ticket for the Gatwick Express. When I land, that train will take me from London’s Gatwick airport to the heart of the city, in about 30 minutes, for about $20.

This will be drastically faster, cheaper, and more convenient than taking a cab.

It’s one of the luxuries of being me. Imagine on the other hand being poor Dan Kennedy, who has built up a marketing persona around a stable of race horses, $18k consulting days, and speaking on stage with Donald Trump.

Dan, if he ever would travel to London, could never take the quick, cheap, and easy Gatwick Express. In Dan’s own words:

“Even if there’s a free shuttle bus to take me from a hotel a short distance to a convention center, I can’t be seen riding it; I must arrive in luxury sedan, driven by a chauffer. Even if I am tempted to immediately jump on the phone and return a call to someone who has inquired about making a deal, someone I’m eager to do business with, I can’t. I must let our process do its work; I must have my assistant schedule a phone appointment. I can’t do such things any more than diet and exercise guru Richard Simmons dare be seen at McDonalds wolfing down a Big Mac and a super-sized mountain of fries or Martha Stewart be seen at the mall in cheap sweat pants with stains on them and dirty sneakers.”

There are undoubtedly advantages to a strong, recognizable, and unchanging public persona. But there are drawbacks too.

Whatever. That’s not the real reason why I bring up Dan Kennedy today.

The real reason is that Dan’s statment above ties very nicely into my Most Valuable Email course. The underlying idea in Dan’s quote above is the same as the core idea I’ve built the entire MVE course around.

And no, this core idea is not about building a showy and rigid public persona. It’s not about becoming restricted in what you can do, because people have come to expect that you only drive in luxury sedans and respond to business inquiries a week late.

The Most Valuable Email course is about something else entirely. In fact, it’s about something wonderfully useful in case building up a showy and rigid marketing persona doesn’t sit very well with you.

In case you are curious:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

Nobel Prize-winner shows just how right I, John Bejakovic, was

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Trust me for a moment or two while I tell you about the following interesting people:

On October 3, 1918, a man named Grover Bougher sent a letter to his brother George, a Private in the American Expeditionary Force.

Two days later, Grover was killed in a train wreck.

Grover’s letter was returned unopened the following April, with a note from the Command P.O. that George had also been killed, fighting the war in France.

Neither brother ever learned of the other’s death.

But life goes on. Eventually, Grover’s widow, Lulu Belle Lomax, met and married a man named Vernon Smith.

Smith loved children, including Lulu’s two daughters by Grover Bougher. And while Lulu had often said she would never have any more children, Vernon’s love for her two daughters changed her mind.

​​The result was Vernon Lomax Smith, born on January 1, 1927.

Fast forward to 2002:

Vernon Lomax Smith is awarded the Nobel Prize in economics. Well, actually he shares the prize with Daniel Kahneman. Like Kahneman, Smith did work in behavioral and experimental economics, so the Nobel committee thought it okay to split the prize among the two of them.

Fast forward even more, to 2022:

Vernon Smith, now aged 95, has taken part in an interesting experiment. Except, he is not the investigator. He is part of the experiment itself. The experiment runs as follows.

Smith and a lesser-known coauthor (one without a Nobel Prize) submit a paper for publication.

Will the paper be accepted for publication? How will Smith’s name influence those odds?

Result:

If Smith’s Nobel Prize-winning name is revealed to peer reviewers, they are more likely to accept the paper for publication.

If Smith’s name is hidden to peer reviewers, the reviewers are less likely to the accept for publication.

Common sense, right?

Except, what was not common sense, what was not obvious, and what was in fact shocking to the scientists who conducted this experiment, was the size of the effect of revealing Vernon Smith’s name to peer reviewers.

If Smith’s name was revealed to peer reviewers, they were 6x more likely to accept the paper than otherwise.

Same paper. Same quality of ideas inside. 6x difference in response.

6x!

Yesterday, I, John Bejakovic, wrote an email advising you to give your prospects mental shortcuts to make their decision-making easier.

One of the most valuable of such shortcuts is, as I have long trumpeted, to sell people, and not ideas.

Ideas are vague, hard to grasp, and hard to judge.

People, on the other hand, sell much better. How much better?

Well, thanks to Vernon Smith, we now have the answer:

​​6x better.

Like I said, this is something I have known for a long time. But I still need to remind myself of it often.

For example, I have lately been promoting my Most Valuable Email training.

I’ve given you all sorts of idea-y reasons why you might want to buy this training and learn the “Most Valuable Email trick” inside.

What I haven’t done yet is tell you maybe the most important reason.

While I have used this MVE trick heavily – more heavily than anyone I know of — I did not invent it.

In fact, I have seen some very smart and successful marketers, including Gary Bencivenga, Parris Lampropoulos, and Mark Ford reach for this trick it in non-email content.

It’s much rarer to see this trick being used in emails — outside my own — though I have spotted Daniel Throssell using this trick on occasion.

So many names.

So many people.

So many reasons to buy my Most Valuable Email training.

In case you are interested:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

The post mortem of my “wanted” ad

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Gary Halbert advised all would-be marketing millionaires to take out a classified ad that reads:

“Housewives wanted to address envelopes at home. You must have a typewriter or good handwriting. Call 000-0000.”

That’s good advice still, whether you are a DM marketer, looking for that first-person experience of what getting sprayed by a firehose of response feels like… or a freelancer searching for insights on what the world is like on the other side of the looking glass, when you send in your own job application.

Last Friday, I sent out an email with the subject line,

“Wanted: Competent human to do some monkey work”

In that email, I made a job offer.

In spite of trying to make the job sound as unattractive as I could, I got two dozen applications, mostly from people who were clearly overqualified, but who applied nonetheless.

After looking over all the applications, I ended up hiring somebody yesterday. And I can tell you this:

The content of this guy’s application was largely irrelevant.

The price he quoted me was more relevant, but still secondary.

What really made me hire him is that I had interacted with him a hundred times before. He has bought a bunch of my offers — Most Valuable Email, Most Valuable Postcard, Copy Riddles, which he has gone through twice. He has participated in QA calls, contests, and masterminds I put on, and has given me testimonials before.

In other words, I already knew this guy well, as well as I know anybody from my list.

My point isn’t that you should buy any and all offers I put out, though you certainly should do that.

My point is simply that my brain, and from what I’ve seen, everybody else’s brain, is constantly looking for shortcuts.

The fact is, I don’t know that guy I hired will 100% do a perfect job, or a better job than the dozen or so people who offered to do the same job for less money.

It doesn’t matter.

I had to make a decision. And I was looking for easy ways to do that. You could say I was clutching at straws.

And that’s how most people make most decisions — largely irrationally, just trying to put the unpleasant task behind them. Which can work in your favor — if you put a bit of thought into how to give your prospects mental shortcuts, and how to make their decision process easier and less unpleasant.

Anyways, getting back to Gary Halbert. Gary advised people to take out that classified job ad because “Spectators Can Never Understand What It Is To Be A Player!” Gary explained in more detail:

“You know what the hardest thing it is for a caring teacher like me to do? I’ll tell you… it’s not to explain something to my audience. That’s relatively easy. No, my friend, the real challenge is to make my message real to that audience.”

Which fittingly enough is one of the core ideas behind my Most Valuable Email training. The MVE trick is all about making your email real to your audience — and to yourself.

In case you’d like to get the Most Valuable Email, and maybe interact with me in some way over it, then take a look here:

https://bejakovic.com/mve