Across the street from where I live, there’s an apartment with a nice terrace where they often shoot TV commercials for things like mayonnaise and general purpose loans.
Whenever they are getting ready to shoot one of these commercials, they send an advance man. He’s in charge of blocking off the parking up and down the street, so the TV crew trucks will have a place to park.
This pisses off the residents, who get nothing but frustration from these frequent shoots.
And so today, as I was coming out of my building, a heated argument erupted over this.
A guy with an SUV drove over the little orange cones and police tape and parked in one of the cordoned-off spots.
The TV crew guy in charge of the parking ran over yelling, “Stop! Get out of there! We’re a TV crew! I’ll call the police!”
“Call the police,” the owner of the SUV told him, “and go fuck yourself.”
They kept at it, repeating these same two lines over and over as I walked away and out of earshot.
Now, I’ve been writing about negotiation lately and this made me think of the okay/unokay advice from famed negotiation coach Jim Camp.
“Only one person can feel okay in a negotiation,” says Camp, “and it’s not you.”
That would have been good advice for the unfortunate TV crew guy. When I came home three hours later, he was still there, sitting dejectedly on the opposite corner of the street. As far away as possible from the still-parked SUV.
He had no hand. Yelling and threatening with calling the police was only counterproductive. It might have been better to try to be unokay and say something like:
“I know, man. I hate this job. I know you got no place to park and I’m sorry for putting these stupid cones to try to keep you out. The company makes me do this and it makes me sick to my stomach. I’ve got no right telling you not to park here. I’m just so stressed. When the TV crew comes later and sees your car parked here, they’re gonna nail me to the cross cuz they won’t be able to put the truck anywhere. I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”
I’m not sure the SUV driver would have bought it, but it would have been worth a shot.
But what about the SUV guy though?
Whole different story.
Being aggressive and inconsiderate worked for him. He got everything he wanted from this negotiation without making his adversary feel okay. Quite the opposite, in fact.
And that’s the application to copywriting.
Some copywriting gurus will advise a very aggressive and commanding tone of voice. “You’ve got my money,” they effectively say to the prospect, “now hand it over.”
Others advise being more skeptical and subtle — or even submissive. They basically offer the reader the chance to buy, rather than bullying him into buying.
So which one is better?
Well, just like in the parking situation above, it depends. Mainly on who you’re talking to, and what you’re offering them. A $27 bizopp offer, targeting frustrated retail workers, will use one level of aggressiveness. A $5400 business service targeting successful entrepreneurs will use another.
In other words, there’s no single answer. And if anybody tells you differently, it’s because they’re selling something — to only one type of market.