The light at the end of the tunnel

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

“How do you expect me to respond to this?”

“How about, you love me too?”

“How about: I’m leaving.”

That’s the start of the last scene of the 1989 romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally. In case you haven’t seen it, the movie goes like this:

The first time Harry and Sally meet, they hate each other. The second time they meet, Harry doesn’t even remember who Sally is. The third time they meet, Harry and Sally become friends. Then they sleep together, and things go south and they stop being friends.

And then one New Year’s Eve, Harry finally realizes he loves Sally, and he runs to meet her, and he declares his love. And she says, “I’m leaving.”

The fact is, screenwriter Nora Ephron and director Rob Reiner both felt that movie should end like this.

​​No way should it end with Harry and Sally winding up together. That’s not how the real world works. People in those kinds of relationships don’t end up together.

That’s how the first two drafts of the movie actually went. The bitter truth.

But in the third draft, Ephron wrote this final scene, and Reiner shot it. After Sally’s “I’m leaving,” Harry delivers a speech about all the little things he loves about her, and they kiss and they wind up together, forever, in love.

And that’s how the movie was released, and it was a big, big hit.

So what’s the point?

Well, maybe it’s obvious, but you can go negative and cynical and sarcastic for the whole movie, but you gotta end on an inspiring, positive note.

​​It’s gotta make sense to people and give them a feeling of hope, at least if you want to create something that has a chance to be a big big hit, something that can appeal to a wide swath of the market.

Or in the words of screenwriter and director David Mamet:

“Children jump around at the end of the day, to expend the last of that day’s energy. The adult equivalent, when the sun goes down, is to create or witness drama — which is to say, to order the universe into a comprehensible form.”

But now I have a problem:

I’ve just pulled back the curtain. And what’s behind the curtain is not so nice. So how can I end this email on an inspiring, positive note?

Well, I can admit to you that the world is a large and complex and often unjust place. But it does have its own structure. And just by reading these emails, you’re finding out bits and pieces of that structure, and that helps you make more sense of the world you live in, and it helps you shape and influence the world for the better.

I can also tell you that the above bit, about Harry and Sally and Nora and Rob, is part of a book I’m working on, the mythical “10 Commandments of Hypnotists, Pick Up Artists, Comedians, Copywriters, Con Men, Door-To-Door Salesmen, Professional Negotiators, Storytellers, Propagandists, and Stage Magicians.”

I’ve been working on this book for a long time. But there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

In the meantime, do you know about my other 10 Commandments book, 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters?

It also collects bits and pieces of the structure of the world, and it can help you understand and shape that world for the better. In case you’d like to find out more:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

Ideal positioning for coaches, consultants, and I would also add, copy chiefs

Back in the days before mammals evolved, I used to lurk on Reddit, specifically the r/copywriting subreddit.

It was almost entirely a giant waste of time. Each day would be a new pile of worthless posts like:

“I just rewrote this Heinz ketchup ad, what do you guys think”

“Ugh how do I get clients”

“Is it really true that copywriting can make you millions”

But, every Mercury retrograde or so, a little bit of gold dust appeared among all the mud and sand.

So for example, somebody once asked a question about the “essential Dan Kennedy.” In other words, out of the millions of words of written content and thousands of hours of recorded seminars and courses that Dan has produced, where to get started?

One guy, apparently a big-time DK fan, wrote up a very thorough comment in response.

I won’t reprint it here. You can look it up on Reddit if you’re curious.

But at the end of his 1,052-word comment reviewing the best Dan Kennedy material, this guy added in something unusual. Something that wasn’t created by Dan. In fact, a Hollywood comedy.

“This is a movie that Dan has said shows the ideal positioning you want to have as a coach or consultant,” the Reddit DK fan wrote.

“Aha!” I said. “Finally something to pay for all those wasted hours on Reddit.”

The movie in question is called The Muse. It was made in 1999 by Albert Brooks, who also stars in the lead role, along with Sharon Stone, Andie MacDowell, and Jeff Bridges. It even features cameo appearances by Martin Scorcese, Rob Reiner, and James Cameron.

I watched The Muse a couple years ago, right after reading that Reddit post. I rewatched it again last night.

It’s cute but not great. But that’s not the point.

The point is I can see why Dan recommends it as an illustration of the perfect positioning for any coach or consultant.

And I would also add, maybe even the ideal positioning for for any highly successful copy chief.

At least that’s what I thought a few weeks ago. I was reminded of The Muse while listening to a certain very successful copy chief talk about the yearly retreats he takes his team on.

​​During the retreat, this copy chief and his copywriters don’t talk copy or marketing.

​​Instead, they just go for hikes and listen to music in synchrony. It reminded me of the aquarium scene in The Muse.

Anyways, if you are a coach, consultant, or maybe even copy chief, The Muse might be worth a look. Or not.

What’s definitely worth a look, or not, is my daily email newsletter. There tends to be a lot of mud and sand, but occasionally some gold dust in there as well. In case you are curious, you can sign up for it here.

How not to get what you want

“Things are different now. First you have to be friends. You have to like each other. Then you neck. This could go on for years. Then you have tests, and then you get to do it with a condom. The good news is you split the check.”
— Rob Reiner’s character in Sleepless in Seattle

A while back, when I was living in Budapest, I decided to get more involved in the city’s startup scene.

So what to do? I thought of different options:

I could go to local meetups where people were giving talks…

I could start working at coworking spaces and try to make friends on my breaks…

Or I could simply find a list of startups, contact their founders, and introduce myself.

Which is what I did one Monday. By Wednesday, I was having beers with the American-born founder of an English-teaching startup.

The point being, many ways can lead you to a goal, but often, the direct path is the most effective. On the other hand, indirect, passive, or timid strategies are frequently how NOT to get what you want — because they leave you exhausted, distracted, and sitting in a ditch by the side of the road.

By the way, this doesn’t just apply to beers with startup founders.

It’s actually a broader life principle with me.

It underlies how I meet women (definitely not with Rob Reiner’s passive approach above). It’s also how I achieved freedom in my life, so I don’t have to sit in an office every day. This directness principle is even guiding my efforts at getting rich.

Speaking of the last two things:

One thing has been instrumental in my being able to get out of the office forever, and to start making solid money without having a boss.

That thing has been working as a freelance sales copywriter on the online platform Upwork.

Sure, when I got started, I had zero experience as a sales copywriter and I wasn’t getting paid a lot.

But I was able to raise my rates very quickly, work fewer hours, and have more time to devote to other projects.

I don’t think what I’ve been able to do is unique. In other words, anybody who wants to can do the same. In fact, I’m writing a short guide right now on exactly how to do this.

This guide is almost finished, and when it’s done, I’ll put it up on Amazon as a Kindle ebook. If you want to get notified when it’s out (there will be a short free promo period), sign up below:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/