This morning, I wired money to Daniel Throssell for his share of the Copy Riddles sales made over the past week. But I wanted to send Daniel something more than just an email notification of a wire transfer.
I know Daniel has this message in his signoff:
“Fan mail, death threats and gifts of expensive whisky can be dispatched via messenger kangaroo to:”
“All right,” I said. As a first step, I found an article, “24 Best Alcohol Delivery Services in Australia.”
I went to the website of one of those 24 best alcohol delivery services in Australia.
I added a bottle of Oban to my cart.
Five years ago, I visited the Oban distillery in Oban, Scotland. It was a rare highlight of an otherwise miserable trip, plagued by cold, food poisoning, and a terrifying ride in a van down the wrong side of the road.
Those memories flooded back as I filled out the form with Daniel’s PO Box and my billing details. I clicked the “Is this a gift?” option, and I wrote a little note to Daniel, explaining why exactly this whisky.
I pressed the button to get to the final order page… and… and… loading… almost there… still loading… loading…
I tried again. No.
I tried from beginning. Same thing.
I tried a different browser. It wouldn’t work.
I contacted their support. But nothing I did or they advised would get the order complete or my bottle of 14-year-old Oban on the road.
I exhaled to calm myself. I’d wasted a good 40 minutes fighting with one of the best alcohol delivery services in Australia. “It’s okay,” I told myself in a cheery tone. “I’ve learned something!” I made my way down the list.
The next among Australia’s 24 best alcohol delivery services also sold Oban. But since this was a site that specializes in “business gifts,” the bottle cost 40 dollars more.
I stared hard at the screen. I grunted. Fine.
I filled everything out once again, including the gift message about why exactly this whisky.
Only, once I’d written that message out, I got a notification that it would cost me an extra $5.95 to have the gift card with the message included. I stared in confusion at this notification, and then I got furious. “Oh no you don’t!” I roared. “That’s the straw that broke this donkey’s back!”
I closed down this second website, and I moved on to number 3 on list of the 24 best alcohol delivery services in Australia. My nerves were starting to fray.
The third site did not sell Oban at all. So much for my carefully crafted note to Daniel, explaining why exactly this whisky. But at this point I didn’t care. I was entirely fixated on shipping something brown, in a bottle, with alcohol in it, to Daniel’s PO Box.
This website did not have a “Is this a gift?” option. So not only would there be no note, but perhaps the receipt would go along with the present.
Tacky?
“Efficient!” I told myself, my teeth clenched together, my eyes darting from side to side.
I entered my credit card details, cackled as I watched the order go through, wiped the sweat off my brow, and started to finally relax. And only then did I realize the sun was starting to go down — and I still hadn’t written my daily email.
So no point or takeaway to today’s email. Who’s got time for a takeaway?
Only thing I can perhaps highlight is how dogged I was in making this purchase, in spite of obstacles put in front of me — frustration, time, effort, and even insults by that “business gifts” website.
My point is not that I’m a uniquely determined personality. My point is that this is how people normally shop for stuff they want.
If you haunt copywriting lists, you will hear expert and non-expert copywriters tell you how important it is to reduce friction… to spend time crafting your headline… how good copy matters! And it’s true, at the margins, and at scale, hundreds of sales per day, or thousands, or tens of thousands.
If you play at that level, you will have to get everything right.
But odds are good you are not playing at that level. And so you don’t have to get everything right. You just have to get basic psychology right, and apply it correctly and consistently. People will still buy.
And on that note, consider my Most Valuable Email training. It won’t teach you basic psychology directly, but it will give you a framework for getting basic psychology downloaded into your brain, day after day, by applying the Most Valuable Email trick correctly and consistently.
This might sound confusing, but I can’t explain it better without giving away stuff that I charge for in the course.
All I can tell you is that lots of people have gone through this Most Valuable Email training before, many have praised the approach, and quite a few have benefited from actually implementing it. In case you’d like to learn more: