George Costanza

The George Costanza school of formulaic but effective emails

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In the new course I just released, Simple Money Emails, I gave the example of an effective “George Costanza school” email I wrote five years ago.

That email used “The Opposite” storyline from Seinfeld. George realizes every decision he has ever made in life has been a mistake, and decides to start doing the opposite from now on. Good things follow.

I used this story to open an email for my old aromatherapy list (I used to be a low-grade aromatherapy influencer once). Sure enough, I sold some copies of my aromatherapy book via that George Constanza trope. And I’m not the only one…

… ​​and not in the aromatherapy niche only.

Yesterday, I got an email from a long-time customer and reader (not sure he wants me to share his name), who wrote me after getting SME to say:

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Hey John! Loving the course so far, and very interested in the “9 sins” offer.

One thing that made me laugh while reading it is that I used this same episode and story about George Constanza twice in different emails for different lists to sell some courses, successfully.

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I don’t know which lists and which courses he made sales to with this story. But the smaller point is clear. ​​If you ever need a formulaic but effective way to open your email:

Use “The Opposite” storyline from Seinfeld. It can fly in pretty much any market.

Bigger point:

It might seem obvious that you want to open your emails with stories that help you make the sale. But it’s not obvious at all, at least based on the 100+ emails I’ve been paid to critique and review over the past year.

All the time, I see people who open their sales emails with cute or interesting stories that go nowhere, or at least nowhere near the offer they are promoting.

And then these same people wonder why they’re not making any sales — the email marketing equivalent of being unemployed and living with your parents.

And on that note, I’m putting on a live training next Monday, 9 Deadly Email Sins.

The above is one of the 9 sins. The others are equally as simple, equally as widespread, and equally as deadly.

If you’d like find out what these sins are, so you can take a 180-degree turn away from them and towards a new, more successful episode in your life:

https://bejakovic.com/sme-classified-ty/​​

The George Costanza method of client seduction

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There’s an episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza, the fat short bald loser who is always making up exciting careers for himself to impress women, realizes that everything he has done in life has lead to failure.

Desperate, George takes another tack.

He goes bizarro. He does the opposite of whatever he would normally do.

George starts by ordering the opposite lunch from what he normally gets. He then notices an attractive woman looking at him from across the restaurant.

Bizarro George decided to get up and go talk to her — because normal George never would.

“Excuse me,” George says to the woman, “I couldn’t help but notice you were looking in my direction.”

“Oh yes I was,” the woman explains. “You just ordered the exact same lunch as me.”

George takes a deep breath.

“My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”

The woman turns to face him fully, her eyes sparkling and a smile spreading across her face. “I’m Victoria. Hiii…”

Chris Haddad said in a recent interview that if you are a freelance copywriter, then you should be constantly going on Facebook, bragging about how great you are, and sharing all of your successes and testimonials.

That’s one approach. It can definitely work.

But there’s another approach. It’s when you seek to not impress. Instead, you give clients reasons why you are not a good match for them. You refuse to talk about your experience and successes, or at least you put it off as long as possible.

This is nothing more than a page out of Jim Camp’s negotiation system. You’re looking for a no. More importantly, you are eliminating any neediness that’s typical when freelancers talk to clients.

Very likely, this approach is not right for you.

But if you find that the typical advice of confidence and bragging has lead you to failure over and over… then this bizarro George approach is worth a shot. Because it can work, and not on just on TV.

Here’s another thing that is very likely not right for you:

My daily email newsletter. Very few people subscribe to it. Even fewer read it.

The George Costanza sales close

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There’s an episode of Seinfeld in which George and his new girlfriend are walking on the beach — and George gets caught in a lie.

The whole time he’s been with the girlfriend, he’s been telling her he’s a marine biologist.

“Then of course with evolution the octopus lost the nostrils,” he says modestly as the girlfriend hangs onto his every word.

Suddenly, the two lovebirds come on a group of people on the beach who are all pointing to something out there among the waves.

It’s a beached whale, who seems to be struggling and maybe even dying.

“Save the whale, George,” says the girlfriend, “for me.”

And so rather than get caught in his lie, what does George do?

He throws off his baseball cap, rolls up his pants, and wades out there among the crashing waves to face the great beast like a true marine biologist.

Because George knows talk is cheap.

All the stories in the world won’t build a bullet-proof sales argument.

Not like one solid demonstration can build.

And that’s why Claude Hopkins, who has been called the father of direct advertising, once wrote:

“The way to sell goods is to sample and demonstrate, and the more attractive you can make your demonstration the better it will be.”

So if you’re looking to close a sale, think of ways your prospects can try out a sample or a demonstration of what you offer.

And if you can’t get them to sample your product directly, then at least make sure they witness a second-hand demonstration, just like George’s girlfriend witnesses him climbing out into the splashing waves to rescue the great fish. Mammal. Whatever.