English As She Is Spoke Archives

How does your father do?
He is very well.
I am very delight of it. Were is it?
I shall come back soon, I was no came that to know how you are.

In 1855, a Portuguese man named Pedro Carolino published a book now known as “English as she is spoke or, A jest in sober earnest.” Carolino’s book was meant as an English-language primer for Portuguese speakers.

The above dialogue is from the book, of which Mark Twain said, “Nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect.”

Here are a few more examples, from a section titled, “Idiotisms and Proverbs”:

To build castles in Espagnish.
He is beggar as a church rat.
To craunch the marmoset.
To do a wink to some body.
I have mind to vomit.

During the Civil War, while President Lincoln was wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into, he used to reach for “English as she is spoke” to lighten his mind. Here’s a third and final example from the book, specifically, examples of “Quadruped’s beasts”:

My point in bringing this is up is to remind you that if you put out any kind of regular communication into the world, whether that’s daily emails (as I do) or LinkedIn videos or OnlyFans confessionals, then you want to add in your own quirks and twists and phrases in there. Carolino’s book cannot be imitated, but perhaps it can give you some inspiration.

Because everybody has a unique, inimitable way of speaking… you just have to keep an eye out for your own and catalogue it when you spot it.

Of course, some people won’t be amused with your own unique idiotisms and proverbs. But those who do vibe with you will be bound to you all the more. And as Carolino rightly writes, “If can’t to please at every one’s.”