If you’re looking for the answer to life, the universe, and all direct response marketing questions, then I have a computer you should talk to.
No, I mean it.
A real computer. It’s called Delphi. You tell it something. And using some computer magic plus an ever-updating database of previous moral judgments, Delphi tells you if your prompt is ethical or not… good or bad… moral or immoral.
I wanted to see if it worked at all. So I fed it a few prompts. And here’s what it spat back:
“Get rich” — it’s good
“Get rich slowly” — it’s okay
“Get rich quick” — it’s wrong
That’s encouraging. Maybe this Delphi really does know something.
Because the responses above are pretty much how a large part of the population feels about money.
They’d like to have more of it, maybe even much more. But they are not very enthusiastic about grinding it out over the years and decades they imagine it would really take. And yet, they have moral hangups about getting there quick — it must mean doing something sneaky or bad.
Ok, Delphi. Let’s see how you do with a few direct response classics. Here are a few promises made by Gene Schwartz, Chris Haddad, and Gary Halbert:
“Master Transcendental Meditation In A Single Evening” — it’s unreasonable
“Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back, Literally At The Push Of A Button” — it’s immoral
“Lose Up To 20 Pounds In Two Weeks The Lazy Way” — it’s bad
Interesting. I wonder what Delphi’s layers of virtual neurons didn’t like about these promises. Let’s try a few full-blown DR headlines, from Parris Lampropoulos, John Carlton, and David Deutsch:
“Scientists Discover Solution to Sexual Problems Hidden in 1,500-Year-Old Himalayan Secret” — it’s good
“Amazing Secret Discovered By One-Legged Golfer Adds 50 Yards To Your Drives, Eliminates Hooks and Slices And Can Slash Up To 10 Strokes From Your Game Almost Overnight!” — it’s good
“What Every Wife Wishes Her Husband Knew About Estate Planning And The IRS Hopes You Never Find Out” — it’s good
Perhaps you can see inside Delphi’s mind and understand why the oracle liked these headlines.
I have my own theory. It’s something will be sharing with people who signed up for my Influential Emails training.
That offer is now closed — I shut it down earlier today, as I said I would.
But if you didn’t sign up for Influential Emails… and you want to know my thoughts on the above headlines, and how this can be used to make your emails better… well, then just stay put. I’m sure to use this technique in an email soon, and then it will probably be obvious to you.
But for today, since Influential Emails is closed, I have no offer to make to you. Well, none except absolute moral judgements on any question you might have… along with age-old wisdom about direct response headlines and body copy. You can find it in the hallowed issues of my daily email newsletters. Here’s the entrance to the temple.