Copy Riddles

A chance to be afraid of how much you love Copy Riddles

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“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
— Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company

Today, I am officially re-opening enrollment for my Copy Riddles program.

This only happens a few times a year. And whenever it happens, I get people coming and asking me a version of the following question:

“Is Copy Riddles about how to write bullets specifically, or copy in general?”

Oh ye who don’t read the sales page. (Though I can’t really blame you. I rarely read the sales page either. And I think there’s a valuable industry prediction to be made about that… something I will talk about tomorrow.)

But to get back to the question whether Copy Riddles is about copy OR bullets. In Michael Scott’s words:

“Simple. Both.”

In a few more words:

Copy Riddles is about implanting copywriting fundamentals into your head. Stuff you can’t do without if you write sales copy… like promises and proof and intrigue… and then some of those dirty and hidden copywriting tricks you may have heard whispered about between insiders.

So that’s the outcome that Copy Riddles focuses on getting you. And the mechanism to get you there… that’s A-list bullets. Because to mangle another Michael Scott quote:

“Copywriting courses are the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about copywriting and sell it. So you know you are getting the best possible information.”

That’s not what I wanted to do with Copy Riddles. That’s why I went with a unique mechanism.

So each day, for 8 weeks, you get a few paragraphs of text… you write a few bullets based on that text… and then you compare your bullets to the bullets of A-list copywriters, selling that same text. Do it regularly… and you’ll soon be afraid of how much you love the learning that’s happening inside your head.

Anyways, that’s my intro for Copy Riddles. I’ll talk more about it over the coming week (except Thursday, something different on Thursday).

If by chance you are already convinced you want in on Copy Riddles… or if you want to (cough) read the sales page, you can do that at the link below.

Otherwise, I’ll sneak in more subtle pitches for Copy Riddles over the coming days, all the way until Sunday. (Enrollment closes Sunday at 12am PST, and the program kicks off on Monday.)

So fear it or love it… here’s the link:

https://copyriddles.com/

Profit from your prospect’s lack of common sense… even if… you don’t deserve it!

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Here’s how a typical argument goes in the Bejakovic family—

My father [an economist by training and profession]:

“We are living in the best moment in history. We’ve got free education on every topic on Coursera… effective cholesterol-lowering drugs from Pfizer… and a Nespresso machine in every home! The most powerful kings of 500 years ago, or the wealthiest robber barons of 100 years ago, couldn’t dream of riches like these.”

Me [who also studied economics… but found it more heat than light, and dropped it for other pursuits]:

“Yeah, but people don’t seem so happy today. Maybe people were happier before we had Nespresso machines.”

Or maybe they were just the same. For example, here’s a quote by George Orwell, writing about Mein Kampf in 1940, 46 years before the first Nespresso machine was invented:

“Hitler, because in his own joyless mind he feels it with exceptional strength, knows that human beings don’t only want comfort, safety, short working-hours, hygiene, birth-control and, in general, common sense; they also, at least intermittently, want struggle and self-sacrifice, not to mention drums, flags and loyalty-parades. However they may be as economic theories, Fascism and Nazism are psychologically far sounder than any hedonistic conception of life.”

I’m not arguing for Fascism. But that other stuff, the stuff Orwell says about psychologically sound conceptions of life — that’s inarguable.

And if you’re writing sales copy, then you have to take it into account.

​​You have to tap into the dark, hidden, and often nonsensical parts of the human existence, at least intermittently. Because human beings don’t only want comfort, safety, short working-hours, and Nespresso machines.

History and sales results prove it.

Which is why I put together a list for myself, and for people who go through my Copy Riddles program, which I called The Dirty Dozen. I made this list by looking at successful sales copy, and stripping out the direct self-interest.

Whatever was left — well, my father wouldn’t understand that.

But you can. And you can profit from it.

You don’t even need my Dirty Dozen list. You can make a list like it yourself. It might be a long, lonely road… and you might doubt yourself along the way. But I’m sure you can do it.

Or of course, you can join the Copy Riddles army, when enlistment opens up again in a few weeks’ time (sign up here to hear from the recruiting office). We’ve got flags… loyalty parades… and thanks to some stuff I’ve been working on, we will soon have safety in numbers also.

A deadline to make a deliberate and far-sighted decision

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“We might describe the predicament of these [frontal lobe] patients as a ‘myopia for the future,’ a concept that has been proposed under the influence of alcohol and other drugs. Inebriation does narrow the panorama of our future, so much so that almost nothing but the present is processed with clarity.”
— Antonio Damasio, Descartes’ Error

Antonio Damasio is a celebrated neuroscientist at USC and the Salk Institute. He claims all our decisions are made emotionally.

One of his arguments is that people who suffer brain damage that interferes with their emotions… also stop being able to make decisions effectively.

​​Instead, they start to act in impulsive, short-sighted ways, much like somebody drunk.

That’s some high-science proof for an idea that direct response marketers and copywriters have been preaching for decades.

Here’s another thing direct response marketers figured out long ago:

A deadline, coming up in just a few hours, is a proven way to bring a person’s focus to the present.

Specifically, if you’d like to join Copy Riddles, my program for learning how to write bullets and improve your copywriting in general, then you can do so until the end of day today, Sunday, July 4, at 12 midnight PST.

After that, I’ll close the shopping cart down and keep it closed for a few months.

Of course, you’re not drunk… you’re not under the influence of drugs… and you’re not suffering from frontal lobe brain damage.

In other words, you have all your wits about you, and you can make decisions for yourself and your future effectively right now.

So if you’d like to make a deliberate and far-sighted decision for the benefit of your copywriting career, then the time is here:

https://copyriddles.com/

Dark psychological things hidden behind conspiracies

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“This, in sum, is our problem: the truest conspiracies meet with the least opposition.

“Or to put it another way, conspiracy practices — the methods by which true conspiracies such as gerrymandering, or the debt industry, or mass surveillance are realized — are almost always overshadowed by conspiracy theories: those malevolent falsehoods that in aggregate can erode civic confidence in the existence of anything certain or verifiable.”

So says Edward Snowden.

He’s the former NSA drone who exposed a bunch of inside NSA data. He had to flee America and is now living in exile in Russia.

I thought Snowden’s idea above was interesting. But if Snowden is right, then it makes me wonder…

Why do people believe in conspiracy theories, but ignore conspiracy practices?

I came up with a few possible answers. They might be useful to you if you are in the business of persuading:

1. Our brains prefer neat, human-sized explanations.

​​Conspiracy theories give us this. Conspiracy practices don’t — they are a mess of individual actors, institutions, and changing mass behavior.

2. Conspiracy theories are black and white, while conspiracy practices are not.

​​Conspiracy theories allow us to focus our blame on something alien and evil. Conspiracy practices often mesh with our deeply held beliefs and commitments, like paying off our mortgage, voting for the party we believe in, and taking the medication our doctor tells us to take.

3. We get habituated to anything.

​​There is value in something new and different (conspiracy theories) over what we already have and know (conspiracy practices).

4. Conspiracy theories give us hope.

​​Because conspiracy theories are new, because they are run by a few people, because they are external, we believe they are opposable. We even hope that one good fight can be enough. Things are much more murky with conspiracy practices.

5. Conspiracy theories often involve added drama.

Examples: pedophilia, satanists, Hollywood stars, billionaires, midnight rituals. And we like drama. On the other hand, conspiracy practices are mundane.

6. There is official pushback on conspiracy theories…

… but there is no official pushback on conspiracy practices. In other words, conspiracy theories trigger reactance, and conspiracy practices do not.

When you add all this up, it’s no wonder direct response copywriters figured out long ago that unfamiliar, hidden conspiracies, run by a few bad actors, can get crazy attention and drive a lot of sales.

That’s why I cover conspiracies in round 3 of Copy Riddles, which is all about that essential copy ingredient, intrigue.

But like I tried to show above, standard copywriting tactics like conspiracies go deeper. They tap into more fundamental human needs and desires.

And the best copywriters know this, and use it to their advantage.

So that’s why Copy Riddles has another round, which I called “Dark psychological things.” It teaches you how A-list copywriters tap into things like mistrust and outrage and desire for the “Inner Ring” to drive sales.

As I’ve mentioned over the past few days, Copy Riddles is open right now. But it will close tomorrow night (Sunday) at midnight PST.

Why exactly that time?

Because that’s when the official Copy Riddles midnight ritual kicks off… and I have to be there in time to meet the brothers and sisters of my Inner Ring.

More seriously, if you are interested in a higher level of copywriting chops, here’s where you can find out about Copy Riddles before it closes:

https://copyriddles.com/

“A-list copywriter vaccine”

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A certain Dr. Frankenstein, who is a genetics professor at Stanford University, claims he has invented a “superhero vaccine.”

Dr. Frank took genetic material from an an Olympic athlete as the basis for his vaccine.

And what does the vaccine do?

“It gives you a body-wide genetic upgrade,” says Dr. Frankenstein. He claims that the jab will make heart disease, stroke, Alzheimer’s disease, and liver disease a nonissue in the vaccinated.

I don’t know about you, but a genetic upgrade sounds great to me. I’d love to have the muscles, stamina, and Alzheimer’s resistance of an anonymous Olympic athlete, all with just a one-time visit to Dr. Frank’s offices.

In fact, this superhero vaccine matches 3 of my 4 criteria for the ideal offer.

It’s irresistible and promises escape… it’s easy… and it’s urgent.

After all, old age and diseases are certainly coming. And I don’t want to be left behind as the only non-vaccinated, aging weakling in a population of vaccinated superheros.

Of course, there is one element of the ideal offer missing with Dr. Frank’s jab. And that’s perceived safety.

In fact, the reactions I’ve read so far are a rehash of Jeff Goldblum’s speech from Jurassic Park:

The lack of humility before nature that’s being displayed here staggers me… Don’t you see the danger inherent in what you’re doing here? Genetic power is the most awesome force the planet’s ever seen but you wield it like a kid that’s found his dad’s gun.

It’s a reasonable attitude.

But who of us is gonna be that reasonable once a number of daring souls opt for the superhero vaccine… and report amazing results about overflowing energy, perfect memory, and more lustrous hair?

Perhaps you see where I’m going with this. So I won’t drag the point on.

Instead, let me remind you that my Copy Riddles program is open right now.

I think of it as an “A-list copywriter vaccine.” Because it gives you the irresistible promise of a brain-wide copywriting upgrade… through a quick and easy process… based on the winning sales bullets of A-list copywriters.

And there’s a certain matter of urgency. Because Copy Riddles is only open until this Sunday, July 4, at midnight PST.

“Uff, I don’t know,” you might say. “It sounds kind of risky.”

In that case, let me tell you that a small group of daring souls have already gone through Copy Riddles.

They all survived. And here’s what one of them, an Agora copywriter by the name of Vasilis Apostolou, has to report:

I’ve taken every popular course out there. I’m talking about the most popular courses from A-list copywriters. Obviously, I’ve read, listened and watched a lot about bullet writing.

But I can say with 100% confidence that John has put together the best course on bullets, bar none.

I learned a lot from the course that I use for all types of copy: From subject lines to hour-long interview style promos.

I wish I had John’s bullet course when I was starting out. It would have saved me tons of frustration… and shaved months off my learning curve.

In case you’d like to find out more about the A-list copywriter vaccine:

https://copyriddles.com/

When sex doesn’t sell

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The cover of Gary Halbert’s Killer Orgasms! book has a photo of Gary’s topless girlfriend.

I took that photo, censored it with a thick black bar over the nipples, and put it into the sales letter to my bullets course, now called Copy Riddles.

There are a couple reasons for that:

One is that this book was instrumental to Copy Riddles coming into being.

Killer Orgasms! was the first place where I found the “source text” behind bullets, so I could see how A-list copywriters like Gary do the magic they do.

But that’s not the only reason I have the photo in there.

Because sex sells, right? If you associate sex with your offer, it makes people buy more?

Maybe… or maybe not.

It might actually backfire.

Like I wrote yesterday, our attitudes towards other people are mixed.

In a situation of fear and danger, we love nothing more than to be in the middle of the herd. There’s safety in numbers.

But in a situation of attraction and mating, we hope to seduce by being exceptional. We hope to be seen as the maverick, roving the hillsides alone. Others are just meddling competition in this case.

At least that’s what some scientists hypothesized back in 2009. So they ran some experiments. And they showed this common-sense logic to be true.

They found that, sure, sex can make your offer sell better… if your offer is about standing out.

But sex can hurt your sales if your offer involves a strong appeal to community and belonging.

Which was relevant to me.

Because I initially planned to sell Copy Riddles with a stronger appeal of support, community, etc. I wound up minimizing that, and amping up the exceptionalism talk:

“Discover how you can OWN bullets more quickly than you would ever believe… and set yourself apart from the masses of other marketers and copywriters.”

But who knows? Maybe all this jiggering won’t do anything.

Or maybe it will even hurt. After all, if a female reader sees this same topless photo and the surrounding “set yourself apart” copy, it might be a turnoff rather than motivating.

But whether I suffer or not, the underlying idea is worth keeping in mind:

Your prospects’ frame of mind influences whether they want to belong or to be unique. And perhaps, this can influence your sales.

We will see what it does in my case. Because as of today, I am reopening Copy Riddles.

The first round kicked off in March. I’ve had very positive feedback about it. I’ll write more about that over the next few days. (Signup will be open until this Sunday.)

In the meantime, if you’d like to check out the Copy Riddles sales page for yourself, here’s the link:

https://copyriddles.com/