An ode to hate and burnout

I worked late last night.

In fact, I worked from around 9:30am, into the afternoon, and, with a quick break to go for a swim, until around 10pm.

Along with working on my own projects, I had promised a client I would deliver some copy — an advertorial and a FB ad for a new product. And though it wouldn’t have been a major crisis had I not delivered last night, the promised deadline drove me to finish.

And I did. I got both the advertorial and the FB ad done. I was happy with the copy.

But I’m paying for it today. I feel burned out.

I’m staring at my feet.

Hours are passing and my daily todo list remains untouched.

I might fill up a bucket with ice water later and dunk my head in it over and over.

The point is that, for me, work never seems to get easier. I know I don’t deal well with long workdays. That’s why I’ve organized my life so I almost never have them. But even when I churn through my usual, not very taxing days, I have to will myself to work.

Even though I like my work.

Even though I’ve managed to create a comfortable life for myself by working this way.

In other words, even though I’ve “arrived” by any criterion I would have set for myself 5 years ago. This reminded me of something I’d read in a James Altucher post a few weeks ago:

I got an email, “You’re ugly. Shut the F up.”

It was the first time I got hate mail. I had an opinion about the stock market, wrote it, then got this email. It was 2002.

I showed a friend of mine. “That’s a badge of honor. It means people are paying attention to you.”

“Or it could just mean people think I’m ugly.”

Altucher writes that after almost 20 years of being in the spotlight, after 20 years of getting such messages, it still hurts him when people say hateful things to him. Which to me was reassuring. Here’s a guy who’s much further along than I am. And he still struggles.

I’m not sure that, with my fried brain today, I can formulate the point I’m trying to make. But there is a point. Maybe you can see it.

Anyways, if you’re looking to find out how I write advertorials, and how I manage to get the research and the writing squeezed down to its most efficient form, you might be interested in the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/