I saw the following question today:
“I took a freelance project and then my client ghosted me. What can I do?”
I’ve fortunately never been jiffed out of money by a copywriting client.
Largely, that was due to getting my clients through Upwork for a long time. Upwork has an escrow system, so even when a client did ghost me (and it’s happened a few times), I could get paid for the work I’d done.
Off Upwork, even though some clients have been slow with payments, in the end they’ve all made good.
But what will I do one day — and I suppose it’s gotta happen once — that a client doesn’t pay?
The Internet seems filled with freelancing village elders who are ready to give advice: keep sending reminders, put up nasty reviews online, take legal action, send the “magic email” (“Well I guess your priorities musta changed!”), eat the loss.
All of those sound more or less reasonable.
And I’d probably try some of them.
But in the end, if getting my money was still no-go, I might simply take a listen to Longmont Potion Castle.
This guy has put out a dozen albums, all recordings of his absurd, bizarre, and incessant prank calls.
He calls up businesses on a Skype call and says threatening, accusatory things — but all in such a calm and comic tone that the person on the other side of the line doesn’t know if this is really an argument or a joke. From a call to a tire shop:
“I’ve got a Daihatsu Blooper. I’m gonna come up there and wring your neck. I want quadruple my purchase price. Period. End of discussion.”
So I might start making such calls to my non-paying client friends to kick off my working day and get myself in a good mood.
Of course, you might think that getting paid is not a joke.
Particularly if you were really counting on that money.
And I agree with you.
At the same time, why give somebody the opportunity to cheat you twice? Once, by not paying you, and twice, by putting you in a frustrated, angry frame of mind for days or weeks?
Instead, get what you can out of them. Even if that means making absurd prank phone calls. And who knows, the derelict client might be so irritated by the end they will simply pay you to stop.
I hope you’ve haven’t been jiffed by a client. But if you have, and you need inspiration, here’s the mind-bending tire shop call from Longmont Potion Castle himself:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADR6VNm6Qb0