For the past month, I’ve been getting to the gym at the same time as a large, bald man who smells like an opened grave.
I understand if you don’t want to read about this topic. But I think it’s important — perhaps the most important direct response topic of them all. So I have to press on.
My best guess at the origin of the stench is thousands of cigarettes smoked… mixed with a rich man-musk… topped off by what I assume must be layers of ordinary filth.
An orc. This is what an orc would smell like.
To make things worse, the orc likes to use different stations around the gym simultaneously. So he keeps moving around. Each time he passes by, I brace myself.
And yet, when the odor hits me, I’m still shocked, just like the very first time. I find myself looking around for support and recognition from the other gym-goers.
I see their pained faces and we exchange looks of quiet despair. We know each other well now. Like me, they keep getting to the gym at the same time as the orc, over and over and over.
And that’s why I say this topic is important. If you’re a direct marketer or a copywriter, this is the raw material you’re dealing with.
Because odds are, you feel no pity for me.
Instead, you probably have reasonable or even good suggestions for how I could improve my situation.
“Talk to the gym management and complain!”
“Go at a different time!”
“Hose down the orc!”
I hear you.
And I’ve thought about all those options.
But still, I find myself, along with a bunch of other regulars… at the gym, every other day, at the same time as the orc… hanging my head, defeated yet again.
Like I said, this is the raw material you’re dealing with. This is the nature of most people when it comes to most problems in life. Even when those problems smell awful. Even when they’re chronic.
That’s why you can’t count on offering a reasonable or even good suggestion for how people can solve their problems. Like Dan Kennedy says:
“It takes extreme measures to compel people to act contrary to the way they normally act. And the way they normally act is to do nothing, decide on nothing, buy nothing.”
John Carlton said you have to get your prospect so frantic with the urge to act now that he jumps up out of his armchair… sticks his hat on his head… rushes out into the dark night where it’s raining and the wind is blowing… just so he can be sure, right now, to mail the order form for the product you’re selling. Yeah, that’s not how the world works any more. Still, that’s what you should be aiming for.
But if neither John Carlton nor Dan Kennedy connects with you, then here is my contribution to the conversation.
The next time you’re writing sales copy and you’re counting on your solid argument and your fair offer to do your work for you… think of the orc. And think of me, at the gym, head in hands.
And then use whatever persuasive means you have to get me to move out of that cloud of funk… and to keep me out of there the next time. Do it, and I’ll thank you for it.
But what’s that? You’re not confident you could persuade me? You’re worried that the persuasive means at your disposal will leave you hungry, penniless, and possibly without a roof to keep the rain out?
Don’t worry. I have an email newsletter where I share a lot of useful persuasion and copywriting ideas. So jump out of your armchair, stick your hat on your head, and rush out over here.