“So what do you do?” she asked me.
“Nothing much,” I said.
The cheerful English woman laughed. “But seriously, what do you do?”
I shrugged. “I write. Like everybody else here.”
Her eyes got wide. “But I don’t write anything!”
Last night, I spent a bizarre two hours, standing around with a glass of sparkling water and a plate of little croissants in my hands, talking to anybody who passed within arms reach of me.
I would start a conversation by saying, “Hello, I’m John.” And then I would try to keep that conversation going as long as I could without saying anything about copywriting, marketing, or sales funnels.
Inevitably though, everybody I talked to revealed they are a copywriter within a minute or two.
“I write for a supplement company.” “Oh I work for the Motley Fool.” “I’m in the prepper niche.”
It’s not surprising the restaurant was filled with copywriters. After all, it’s a copywriting and direct marketing conference I am attending.
When I asked people why they are here, many of them said it’s because A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos is giving a talk. Indeed, there was Parris, working the room and chatting with everyone. He had on a colorful shirt. “It’s a Robert Graham,” Parris said. “I put his kids through college.”
At some point, I realized there were two tablefuls of people that had not gotten up during the whole night. I hadn’t talked to anybody from either table. So I went over to one, and asked if I could join.
“Sure,” said the cheerful English woman.
We talked for a while about her Staffordshire bull terriers (9 of ’em!) and about the best years of her life (moving around in a camper van).
And then she asked me what I do. I tried to dodge the question. But eventually, I had to reveal that I too write. She said she doesn’t.
That was my first clue to a curious fact, which became revealed as the night went on.
For some reason, all the copywriters were standing around the bar and buffet. All the business owners were seated at the two tables, and they weren’t budging.
Maybe the copywriters are hungry, and the business owners are not?
Or maybe it was just a quirk of last night?
In any case, if you ever do attend a copywriting conference, and you’re a hungry copywriter looking for work — not my current situation, thank God — then keep this possible quirk in mind. And gravitate to the tables where nobody seems willing to budge.
It’s 8:07am as I write this. In another 10 minutes, the conference is supposed to start. I will be there exactly on time, because I’m hoping for coffee.
Which means it’s time for me to go.
Meanwhile, if you want to read something that I learned from the great Parris Lampropoulos — perhaps the best thing I’ve learned from him — you can find that in Commandment II of my 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters. The book is hiding on Amazon, unwilling to budge from its spot. But if you’re willing to go to it: