Would you do me a favor real quick? It’s going to be painless and won’t cost you a cent:
Would you go on Amazon right now and leave a review for my book The 10 Commandments of A-list Copywriters? It doesn’t matter if you’ve read the book or not.
I’m waiting.
What, you’re still here?
No review for me?
That’s too bad. I’m a little saddened to be honest. But then please at least read this article to the end.
I myself have been re-reading Robert Cialdini’s Influence for the past several days. And since I’m a slow reader, I’ve only gotten as far as Chapter 2, Reciprocity.
You know what reciprocity is. It’s when you do somebody a favor… and that way you oblige them to do you a favor in turn. It’s a standard technique of grifters, conmen, and Hare Krishna devotees, because it works even if you force a favor on the other person.
I remembered that much about Cialdini’s book. But I forgot about the other kind of reciprocity Cialdini describes.
Cialdini calls this other method rejection-then-retreat. That’s when, rather than forcing a favor, you force a concession.
It’s simple to do:
You start out with a big first ask. When that’s rejected, you back off to what you really wanted all along. You’ve made a concession… now it’s the other guy’s turn.
Very devious. Very clever. And very familiar, when you think about it.
It’s the standard way people negotiate. “$10k? Oh no, absolutely not. This Miata is worth at least $22k. But I guess I could let it go for 18… 14? No, you’ve gotta be kidding me. 17 and that’s my final offer. 16? Deal.”
It’s also a standard gambit for pickup artists. I won’t give you the salacious details here. You can use your own imagination.
And finally, rejection-and-retreat is in play in every modern sales funnel, which features a front-end offer, some upsells, and inevitably, downsells if you don’t take the upsell:
“All right, so you don’t want the incredibly valuable lifetime subscription to Cat & Mouse Stockpicking Alerts for only $4,999. Will you at least accept a 2-year subscription, for only $387?”
And since you’ve read my post to the end, let me tell you this:
This reciprocity stuff is powerful. Do it right, and you can really manipulate people, even against their own interest. But beware.
Reciprocity is a perfect example of what I wrote about a couple days ago. It’s a technique that can wear out quick if you abuse it. And when it wears out, you won’t just lose that one-time sale. You will also lose the chance to do business with that person, probably for life.
Oh, and if you think I’ve done you any kind of a favor by exposing you to this devious rejection-then retreat stuff… then you know how to repay me. I have an email newsletter. Consider signing up for it. And if you decide you want to, here’s where to go.