“Just go talk to her!”
I was walking on the street a few days ago. The sun was shining, there was a cool breeze, and lots of good-looking women were out and about.
Each time one of these monsters passed by, wrapped up in her headphones, masked with her sunglasses, I would tell myself to go talk to her.
Of course, all that happened is that I tensed up.
These women on parade were too intimidating.
Or too busy.
Or too something.
In the past, I’d tried hyping myself up.
“What’s the big deal?” I would say. “She’d probably be super happy to get a compliment. And maybe you will hit it off. It could be a win-win!”
That would always get me excited. And that was all.
Because more good-looking women would pass by…
And I still wouldn’t go talk to any of them.
So a few days ago, I did the opposite. I told myself the ugly truth:
“Why not just go home? You probably won’t talk to any of these women. It’s too hard. Or maybe you’re just too weak. Or not good enough at problem solving. Whatever the reason, odds are you’re wasting your time. You should probably just head home.”
If you’ve ever read Jim Camp’s Start With No, you might recognize this as a “negative stripline.”
That’s when you’re in a negotiation, and your adversary is having doubts, concerns, or vague bad feelings.
At this point, according to Camp, the worst thing you can do is to paint a sunny and bright picture.
Instead, you want to be honest. Brutally honest.
“You’re probably right,” Camp would say to such an adversary. “This probably won’t work out. It’s probably best if we just cut off this negotiation right now and stop wasting your time.”
What happens when you do this?
Well, all I can say is what happened to me. I finally got to talking to some beautiful, intimidating women. Because the negative stripline works even when your negotiating adversary is yourself.
So if you’re not seeing real results from the power of positive thinking, whether in social situations, or in business…
Then try negative thinking.
And whatever you do, don’t let me know how it works out for you.