A sexual health riddle by the 499-pound gorilla of copywriting

Today, I will share a super valuable copywriting commandment with you.

Tomorrow, I will tell you an equally valuable commandment, which is the exact opposite of what I’ll tell you today.

How is that gonna work? We will see. Let me set it up with a little riddle for you:

* Almost foolproof contraception: It’s over 99% effective but… so new… most people have never even heard about it!

So, can you guess what this “almost foolproof” method of contraception is?

If you’ve been through my Copy Riddles program, you should be able to answer easily.

​​In fact, you should be able to answer this riddle even when the neighbor’s car alarm jolts you awake at 3am… while you’re all sleepy and a little drooly… just lifting your head up for a moment and saying, “Yes of course that almost foolproof method of contraception is —” before you drop back down to the pillow and pass out again.

But maybe you haven’t been through Copy Riddles. In that case, answering this riddle might be a bit harder. So I’ll will give you a hint that might help.

A few years ago, the Harvard Business School blog published an article titled, “When Negotiating a Price, Never Bid with a Round Number.”

They cited a bunch of scientific studies, in-lab experiments, and statistical analyses.

And the conclusion was:

Better make your prices, and really all your published numbers, jagged, specific, and unround. That’s because people don’t trust or respect a round number much — they figure that little thought and work went into it, and the number is probably not accurate or not representative.

This is really an example of the incredible uselessness of science, if you ask me.

After all, this bit of scientific research came out a few years ago.

But how long have marketers and business owners known, pretty scientifically, to make their numbers not round? A long time. For example, take Gary Halbert, the 499-pound gorilla in the world of copywriting.

Gary is responsible for that sexual health bullet above. It was part of his sales letter to sell his “Killer Orgasms!” ebook.

I won’t tell you what Gary’s “almost foolproof contraception” method is. But knowing that Gary was a smart marketer, and combining it with that obvious and almost useless bit of HBS scientific news, will probably be enough to get you to Gary’s contraception method, or at least to get you close.

But maybe you really really need to know the answer.

​In that case, you can try to dig up a copy of Gary’s book. Or just wait for the next run of Copy Riddles, which will happen in June, and probably at some jagged, specific, not-round price.

Or maybe not?

Maybe the next price of Copy Riddles will end in a zero, or maybe even two zeros?

If you are curious how or why I would possibly want to make my price a nice, even, round number, after everything I’ve just told you, then read my email tomorrow. It will tell you the answer. You can sign up to get it here.

Factual vs. emotional

As I so often do, this morning I sat down at my writing desk, took a sip of my coffee, lit my pipe, put on my eyepatch, and started re-reading, for the 114th time, David Ogilvy’s self-promotional ad, How to Create Advertising That Sells.

As you probably know, Ogilvy’s ad is a collection of 38 bits of wisdom that Ogilvy learned by creating “over $1,480,000 worth of advertising.” Number 23 on the list is this:

23. Factual vs. emotional. Factual commercials tend to be more effective than emotional commercials.

However, Ogilvy & Mather has made some emotional commercials which have been successful in the marketplace. Among these are our campaigns for Maxwell House Coffee and Hershey’s Milk Chocolate.

I don’t know about you, but it sounds to me like Mr. Ogilvy is saying, “Certainly, emotional ads have been known to work… but it takes a true expert, someone like me, to pull it off. Otherwise, best stick to facts, facts, facts, or your advertising will pass like a ship in the night.”

That goes against a lot of copywriting advice you hear today.

Today, the main advice for copywriters is to agitate, scare, excite, outrage. Pile on the power words. Don’t tell people facts. They don’t care. But stir their emotions and they will buy.

So what gives? Was Ogilvy just writing at a different time? Or do different rules apply you promote Hershey’s Milk Chocolate in Life Magazine than when you promote, say, ProstaStream supplements on Clickbank?

Well, I can tell you a little personal story.

The single piece of copy that has paid me the most money to date, per word written, was a 317-word email I wrote a couple years ago, in 2020. It was full of facts, to support the idea that using hand sanitizer won’t get your hands as clean as washing your hands with soap and water. We were selling “paper soap” — little dental-floss sized dispensers of one-time soap flakes. And thanks to that fact-filled email, we sold, literally, a ton of paper soap.

“Yeah,” I hear you say, “but that was a unique moment. There was a lot of fear around corona, and everybody was in the mindset to keep their hands clean or die. You were just tapping into that.”

You’re right. And in a way, that’s the point.

Facts alone are like pebbles by the side of the road.

They’re not very impressive. Not very threatening. Not very useful.

But take some of those facts, and put them inside your prospect’s shoe. Suddenly, you have him squirming, and twisting, and looking to get rid of that discomfort and pain. And not only that. You have him taking that discomfort and pain with him — unlike power words and emotions, which are like a cloud of smoke that disappears in a few moments.

The bigger point is that, ideally, all aspects of your copy, or anything else you write, should do double or triple duty. Facts are no different.

Sure, facts provide concreteness and believability. But choose the right facts, and you will stir emotions also. After all, who really cares that, at 60 miles an hour, the loudest thing in this Rolls Royce is the electric clock? There must be something else going on there.

And now here’s a fact:

Every day, over 1,050 people are signed up to get emails with little bits of marketing wisdom like what you just read. If you’d like to join them, click here and fill out the form.

Gary Halbert’s second best copywriting tip

On January 7 of this year, carried on the wings of Twitter, Elon Musk became the richest person in the world.

That was good news for the folks at Agora, who could now run the following promo about Jeff Bezos:

“World’s second richest man’s NEW world-changing disruption”

I don’t know about you, but this sounds more intriguing to me than:

“World’s richest man’s NEW world-changing disruption”

And I guess Agora’s readers agree. After all, Agora keeps mailing this second richest thing, even though Bezos is actually back to being the richest person ever, as of February 16.

My point is this:

When it comes to copy, superlatives and extremes are great. But they can become unbelievable, or simply tired. If that’s happening in your market, it can make sense to go to the extreme… and then back off 1%. Just like Gary Halbert did with the following bullet:

* Almost foolproof contraception: It’s over 99% effective but… so new… most people have never even heard about it!

You might wonder what this new form of contraception is. That depends, like Bill Clinton said, on what the meaning of “is” is. But I will tell you this:

The secret Gary is talking about is actually 100% effective. (I found that out by following Gary’s top copywriting tip, which was to study bullets by comparing them to the source text.)

And yet, Gary decided to cut down the effectiveness of his promise. Why?

Because round numbers seem less specific, and therefore less convincing, than jagged numbers.

So if your number is round (like 100% contraceptive effectiveness… or the world’s richest man), then take Gary’s lead. Find creative ways to rough up your promise and make it more believable.

And if you want more second- and third-best copywriting tips:

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