How to create a selling style people love to read

Let’s talk about the infamous Arthur P. Johnson.

I say “infamous” because the man was as unlikely as anyone ever to become a successful sales copywriter.

Johnson graduated from Swarthmore College with highest honors. He then went to Oxford University for a graduate degree. He had ambitions of becoming a poet, and a backup plan of becoming an academic.

Yet, through a chance runin at a bar with a former classmate, Johnson gradually got sucked into the world of direct response. He first worked at the Franklin Mint, writing copy for collectibles (a good education — how do you sell something with no obvious benefits?).

He next worked in product development at another collectibles company. Finally, even though he did not want to write copy any more, he stumbled into freelance copywriting. And that’s when things really took off.

Johnson wrote controls for a number of major publishers, including Boardroom and Agora. He made himself a fortune in the process.

He was so successful he made it onto Brian Kurtz’s Mount Rushmore of greatest copywriters, along with Parris Lampropoulos, David Deutsch, and Eric Betuel.

And here’s the lesson. When Arthur P. Johnson was asked what he attributes his success to, he said the following:

“I think that I’m able to sell products in a more entertaining way than a lot of other people are. I think that being entertaining while you are selling is a big key to success in a very crowded marketplace these days, because you really have to buy people’s attention.”

Johnson did most of his work in the 90s and 2000s. But this lesson, about having to be entertaining to sell, is even more true today than it was back then.

I’m proof of this.

Not with these emails, where I rarely sell anything.

But starting earlier this year, I’ve helped move hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of ecommerce products.

​​I’ve done it by writing emails, much like this one, that tell some kind of story or share a joke or just a funny picture. And those emails most often link to advertorials I also wrote… which contain more of the same — stories, fake personal confessions, and light humor (so I think).

The thing is, I’m not particularly entertaining in real life, or when writing things other than copy. In other words, all this entertainment stuff can be learned by rote.

So how do you learn it?

Two ways:

First, start paying attention to the books, shows, emails, and movies you yourself find entertaining.

Second, read or re-read Commandment IX of my 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters.

No, this chapter is not a how-to for writing entertaining copy. But it will give you some successful examples of such copy that are running right now.

Plus it will even give you some advice on who and what to study if you want to get better at entertaining in your copy.

And once you start to entertain in your copy, expect people to comment on how interesting your writing is. Expect to have them say how they look forward to hearing from you. And most of all, expect to have them buy — as long as you’ve got anything to sell.

Speaking of which, I happen to have something to sell tonight. In case you don’t yet have my 10 Commandments book, here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

A three-act election story

I broke my long-standing rule of not reading the New York Times to bring you the following:

In Povalikhino, a tiny village in the Russian heartland, the incumbent mayor was running for re-election. But there was a problem:

He had no opposition candidate.

According to the NYT article, Russian elections always need an opposition candidate. That’s to make it appear fair, because the ruling party candidate always wins. Well, almost always.

In this case, the political machine went in search of a patsy to run against the mayor. They asked the local butcher, cobbler, and the high school chemistry teacher.

Nobody was willing to get roped in.

Fortunately, Marina Udgodskaya, the janitor at the mayor’s office, finally accepted the role of running against her own boss.

And she won. In a landslide.

Nobody’s quite sure where it all went wrong. But the fact is that the villagers of Povalikhino voted Udgodskaya into office. She now sits behind the mayor’s desk in the office she used to clean. She said her first priority will be to fix the public lighting in the village.

Meanwhile, the old mayor refuses to speak to the media. According to his wife, he never even wanted the job himself. He finds the topic of losing to the cleaning woman painful… and blames his wife. “You got me into this,” Mrs. Former Mayor reported her husband as saying.

I’m not sharing this story with you to illustrate the importance of voting. I’m of the school that voting doesn’t matter (well, unless you’re voting in a village of three hundred people).

Instead, I just thought this was a good story.

It’s got an Act 1, an Act 2, an Act 3. It’s got tension, drama, and surprise.

I bring this up because I often see people telling “stories” in copy that don’t have these basic elements.

“Mayor needs an opposition candidate, but cannot find one. The end.”

“Mayor needs an opposition candidate, gets a local lawyer to run against, and then the mayor wins as usual. The end.”

“Mayor needs an opposition candidate, which is how things go in Russia, for example this other time there was a second election and…”

Those are events, yes. But they are not stories — at least the kind that suck readers in and sell something.

Incidentally, if you want an education in how to write good stories in your copy… you can’t go wrong by reading the New York Times. Not for the facts. But to observe the outrage they evoke in their readers, and for the subtle sales techniques.

Or you can just sign up for my daily email newsletter. It’s not as outrageous as the New York Times. But it can teach you something about sales and storytelling. If you’re willing to take the risk, click here to subscribe.

Bring out the T-Rex to persuade the unpersuadable

Picture the following fantastical scene:

Venture capitalist John Hammond is having lunch with three scientists and one lawyer.

Behind Hammond, on the dining room walls, photos are flashing. They show different planned rides at Hammond’s future entertainment complex.

Hammond in opening a place called Jurassic Park. The three scientists are there to give their expert opinion on this project.

They have just seen their first live dinosaurs. It was an awe-inspiring experience.

So Hammond is expecting an enthusiastic endorsement. But then one of the scientists, a black-clad mathematician named Ian Malcolm, starts to speak.

“The lack of humility before nature that’s being displayed here staggers me,” Malcolm says. “Genetic power is the most awesome force the planet’s ever seen. But you wield it like a kid that’s found his dad’s gun.”

Malcolm goes on to explain the root cause of the problem. Success came too easy… Hammond put in no effort to make this achievement… and that’s why he gives no thought to responsibility or consequences.

The other two scientists carefully agree. Hammond, they believe, does not realize the risks he is dealing with.

So what do you think happens?

Does John Hammond say, “By Jove, I hadn’t thought of it like that. I’ll have to give this more thought. In the meantime, let’s put the opening of the park on hold.”

Of course not. You’ve probably seen the original Jurassic Park movie, from which this scene is taken.

What happens is that Hammond listens patiently. He’s a bit surprised the scientists are not on his side.

But no matter. With a chuckle, he shrugs off their warnings. And he sends them on a disastrous tour of the park.

If you’ve been reading my site for a while, you know I’ve written about the persuasive power of analogies and the problem mechanism.

Well you get both in the scene above. “Like a kid that’s found his dad’s gun” is the analogy… “Success came too easy” is the problem mechanism.

And yet, no change of heart.

Because to a person like Hammond, who’s set enough in his current ways of thinking… no argument will be persuasive.

So what can you do if it’s your job to persuade somebody like that?

Simple. But not easy.

You bring out the T-Rex.

After the T-Rex eats the lawyer… and the velociraptors almost eat everybody else… Hammond finally has his epiphany. His park might be a bad idea. Life will not be contained.

Perhaps you’re wondering what my point is. So let me close with the words of Claude Hopkins:

“No argument in the world can ever compare with one dramatic demonstration.”

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A devious and cynical way to open up new markets

“A woman’s arm! Poets have sung of it, great artists have painted its beauty. It should be the daintiest, sweetest thing in the world. And yet, unfortunately, it isn’t always.”

After James Webb Young wrote those lines in 1919, women in his social circle stopped talking to him.

Even his female copywriter colleagues gave him dirty looks.

Young was working for the J. Walter Thompson advertising agency. His task was to promote the first-ever antiperspirant, Odorono.

Young’s first crack at this account was a fairly standard ad. It attacked the popular belief that an antiperspirant is dangerous stuff.

Sales limped upwards, and then flattened.

A subsequent door-to-door survey revealed that women knew about Odorono. But only one third used it. Two thirds believed they didn’t need it.

So Young wrote another ad. The headline read, “Within The Curve of a Woman’s Arm.”

It was this ad that got him those dirty looks.

It also made Young’s career… it doubled sales of Odororno (which eventually became a million-dollar company, back in 1920s money)… and it made millions of women newly self-conscious.

The point of all this is the power of tying in what you’re selling to people’s insecurities.

Genuine insecurities.

Because today it’s enough to say, “Bad BO?”

But back in 1920, you couldn’t do that. Women smell-tested themselves. They smelled fine.

That’s why Young had to create a problem. He took the idea of perspiration… and he tied it to being undesirable — and clueless about it.

Devious? Yes.

Cynical? Absolutely.

Profitable? Like a mother.

And something to keep in mind, if you too are in the business of opening new markets.

(By the way, in case you think this is another example of horrible double standards for women… Men got their own deodorant, starting in 1935. Before then, man-musk was considered a good thing. So how did advertisers sell the American man on demusking himself? They did the same damn thing. They tied it to the possibility of stinking up the office… and the emasculation of being fired.)

One final point:

If you like cynical and devious ideas, you might like my daily email newsletter. Click here to subscribe.

“Reach the maximum limits of your full potential market”

“This is exactly how I ended up having to get stitches for the first and only time in my life.”

This spring, I had to sell a knife-sharpening gizmo. It was faster, cheaper, and easier to use than a whetstone.

But who cares?

There’s tiny demand for knife-sharpening gizmos of any kind, and it’s unlikely that many people will be swayed by a feature comparison.

What I needed to do was to expand the universe… to take it out of the small space of people who are looking for a better (or any) knife sharpener… and into the much bigger world of people who use kitchen knives but never give a thought to sharpening them.

So what to do?

I ended up telling a story involving a dull chef’s knife, a green bell pepper, and a cut that required four stitches. I created a problem in the reader’s mind where there wasn’t one.

“Dull knife? Yeah, I really don’t care.”

“Sliced-open finger? Geez, what can I do to make sure this won’t happen to me?”

In general, you don’t want to sell to people who are indifferent to the problem you claim to solve.

The only reason you ever would want to do this… is because you are very greedy. Because in most markets, the segment of indifferent prospects dwarfs the knife-sharpener connoisseurs. As Gene Schwartz wrote in Breakthrough Advertising:

“What do you have left [after you can’t talk about your product]? Your market, of course! And the distinct possibility that by broadening your appeal beyond price, product function or specific desire, you can reach the maximum limits of your full potential market; consolidate splinter appeals; and increase the sales of your product at a fantastic rate.”

That’s all on the topic of indifference for today…

Except, I want to ask if you consider yourself a marketing high-flier?

Because a lot of marketing high-fliers are joining my email newsletter these days. If you want to find out why, click here and try it for yourself.

Lost in translation

“You can no longer function as a man.”

“When I came in to open up one morning, there you were, with your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting.”

“You’re weak, you’re out of control, and you’ve become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.”

These are some of the great lines from a drug intervention scene in The Sopranos. Soon after that last line, a fight breaks out, and the interventionists end up kicking the drug addict in the ribs while he’s on the ground.

Of course, that’s not how an intervention is supposed to go.

The theory is that, when one person tries to persuade you, there’s always a translation problem. In other words, your brain is always asking:

“What is this goon really trying to say, and why is he saying it to me?”

That’s why interventions are supposed to work. Multiple people, shouting the same message, make it more likely that the message will get through.

But what if you don’t have the luxury of marshaling multiple people to kick your prospect in the ribs?

What if you only get one kick? How do you convince somebody who’s perfectly ok as is… that he’s got a problem and it’s time to get help?

I’ve got some ideas about this. In fact, I’ve shared them in previous editions of my daily newsletter. Ideas such as:

A) Showing your prospect how his indifference is not really his choice.

B) Using open-ended questions to get your prospect to paint a vision of his own horrible future for himself.

C) Working backwards from an outcome your prospect wants to avoid (that HE wants – not that you think he should want), and showing him why he’s currently headed there.

But I’m a sucker for lost causes, and that includes convincing people who don’t want to be convinced. And I’m always looking for more ways to get around the translation problem.

If this is something that interests you… and you want a report on what I find… you can sign up for my daily email newsletter by clicking here.

The first millennial saint and the miracle of concreteness

Carlo Acutis, born 1991, died 2006, was beatified today by the Catholic Church.

The next step is for Acutis to be made a saint — the first millennial saint, if God and Church will it.

So what’s the story?

Acutis lived a pretty holy life before dying of leukemia at age 15. He worked to help the poor… he defended the rights of the disabled… he documented Eucharistic miracles and used his programming skill to make a website that catalogued them.

But that’s not what got him beatified. Instead, it took a literal miracle.

As you might know, when the pharisees came to Jesus to ask for a sign of his divinity… Jesus scorned them and sent them away.

But the Catholic Church doesn’t operate like that.

The Catholic Church requires you to perform a documented miracle in order to be beatified… and two if you want to become a saint. (Acutis supposedly helped a Brazilian boy get healed of a pancreatic defect.)

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to harp on the Catholic Church or to nitpick whether they’re consistent with the words of Jesus.

I simply want to point out that if, like the Catholic Church, you want to appeal to everyone (and the Catholic Church does, it’s right there in the name)…

Then you can’t be as dismissive as Jesus was when people ask you for a sign.

Because the multitudes need miracles… they need signs… or if you want to put it into persuasion and influence terms, they need concreteness.

Listing logical reasons and abstract arguments… that’s hard to people to get a grasp on. But giving demonstrations, showing case studies, or just citing specifics… well, that can be miraculously persuasive.

Perhaps you find all this blasphemous. Perhaps you feel that not every decent human act needs to be a lesson about persuasion and manipulation. In that case, you definitely won’t be interested in my daily email newsletter.

On the other hand, if you were not offended by the discussion above and you want to get on that newsletter… then click here.

 

The ABT’s of writing persuasive stories

“I was sitting in a park today when I spotted a leggy girl in a blue dress, walking with a certain sashay. And so I ran after her. I stopped her, ready to give her a compliment. But once I was there, face to face, I was no longer sure she was a girl. I wasn’t even sure she was a she. She was taller than I was, and stronger in the shoulder and jaw department. When she started to speak, my suspicions deepened. Therefore, I started looking for ways to gracefully exit from this situation — not so easy to do, because my new blue-dress acquaintance seemed pleased with me and ready to talk.”

I did eventually get out of there and get to the apartment I’m staying in, where I started to read about copywriting. Specifically, I started to read about a way of structuring your stories so they keep readers reading. It’s a simple technique called ABT:

AND – that’s your setup of the story

BUT – that’s where the conflict or complication happens

THEREFORE – that’s the outcome or resolution

If you’re a diligent duck, you can go back and see how I ham-fisted those conjunctions into my park story above. Or just take a look at this next short story:

“An immigrant from a developing country arrives to the US, learns basic English, AND decides to become a professional copywriter. BUT his initial results are underwhelming and he doubts whether he can succeed. THEREFORE he develops his own unique copywriting system, which causes his sales jump 10x, making him the most successful copywriter at a major direct marketing publisher.”

Like my blue-dress adventure above, this immigrant story is true. It is the story of Evaldo Albuquerque, who over the past few years has been the most sellful copywriter at Agora Financial.

I read about the ABT technique in Evaldo’s short book, The 16 Word Sales Letter, in which he lays out his unique copywriting system.

​​I haven’t finished the book yet, so I won’t give you my opinion. ​​But Bill Bonner, the founder of Agora, says, “This is the book I’ve been waiting for.” And Mark Ford, a master copywriter who helped grow Agora to the size it is today, says, “I’m going to recommend this as a must-read to all my copywriting proteges.”

And that’s that. But maybe you don’t know where to find Evaldo’s book so you can see if it’s for you. Therefore, here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/evaldo

A VSL lead idea from the Harmon Brothers Agora ad

I watched the Harmon Brothers Agora video today.

​​You might know what I’m talking about. It’s a humorous, viral-style video by the same people who made the one for Purple Mattress — except this one is selling an Agora stock-picking service.

This video is deadpan because it moves so quickly. I counted 17 jokes — visual, verbal, and physical – in the first 60 seconds alone. That’s a joke every 3.5 seconds, and I might have missed some.

When I first saw this video, I thought it was mostly a ripoff of Will Farrell movies. But I now realize it’s actually inspired by The Simpsons, which had the same rapidfire sequence of jokes.

​​Each joke might not be spectacular in itself. But the jokes are staggered in such quick fashion and edited so tightly that your brain starts to play along.

Unfortunately, the type of humor in the Harmon Brothers video is hard to replicate in writing. Instead, this might be a good way to write a lead, particularly for a VSL in gotta-wow-em markets like bizopp or weight loss. Here’s the recipe:

Take everything you want to say, all your promises, open loops, proof, objections and rebuttals, and write an obnoxiously long lead. Don’t be shy. Then boil it down through merciless editing by at least 10%, preferably much, much more.

The resulting copy will have so much momentum, that even if none of your individual claims or promises is all that unique or impressive or believable, you will simply blitz your reader’s brain into sticking with you through the first few minutes. And that, as they say is, 50% of the battle.

For more rapidfire copy ideas, you might like my daily email newsletter. If you’re interested, sign up here.

Making missed opportunities hurt

I’m at the seaside for a few days. Last night, after the fortieth glass of aperol, the decision was made to go for an “early-morning swim” today.

Today however, thanks to that same aperol, morning came later than usual. And then there was breakfast and some packing and a bit of standing around on the balcony. The early-morning swim plans turned into mid-day swim plans.

And then it started to rain. There would be no swimming after all.

Typical. At least in my life. Because in my experience, you can screw up in two ways:

You can take action and do something dumb… or you can not take action and miss an opportunity.

I’ve noticed in my own life that I’m much more likely to not take action, just like this morning, than to get overeager and get into trouble.

And I guess I am not the only one.

I read in Daniel Kahmenan’s Thinking Fast and Slow that we humans have a reliable bias in this direction.

It’s not just laziness.

But somewhere deep down in our monkey and lizard brains, we believe we will regret a mistake much more if we actively did something to bring it about… rather than if we just sat by, staring out the window, watching the clouds gather.

If Kahneman is right — and why wouldn’t he be, the guy’s got a Nobel Prize after all — then it’s another notch in favor of writing over-the-top, emotionally supercharged, manipulative sales copy.

Because sales copy, in spite of what many people will tell you, is not just like an ordinary conversation. You can’t just present a sober, reasoned argument and have people jumping out of bed.

Instead, you’ve got to create such desperation and fury in your prospect’s mind not only to overcome his natural laziness… but to overcome his fear of trudging all the way down to the beach, and then getting drenched in ice-cold rain. That’s gonna take some hyperbole. It’s gonna take some drama.

Finally, here’s a vision I want to paint in your mind:

I have an email newsletter. Each day I write a short email about copywriting and marketing lessons I’m learning.

If you like, you can sign up for the newsletter here. Or you can just wait. The opportunity will still be there tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that.