FBI negotiator Chris Voss has a tip for you:
If you ever have to call the family of somebody who’s been taken hostage by machete-wielding drug traffickers in the Philippines… then save your “how are you” for the end.
In other words, call up the mom of your hostage on the phone. Say, “Hey Mrs. Robinson. It’s Agent John Bejakovic here with the FBI. About your son… I’m afraid I got nothing new to report.”
Give the mom a second to process the info.
And then say, “Mrs. Robinson… how are you and your family coping with this whole situation?” Because…
“The last impression is the lasting impression.”
So says Chris Voss. But it’s not just him. We know today, from decades of experiments on human guinea pigs, that our brains evaluate experiences based on two brief moments only.
The first is the emotional highlight. That can be impossible to control.
But the second is the ending. That’s easy to control.
So it’s your choice. You can first ask Mrs. Robinson how she’s doing… then give her the underwhelming update. “Nothing new!” She will think you’re useless, like all those other FBI idiots.
Or you can switch up the order. Give the update first and end with, “How are you, really?” And Mrs. Robinson will leave off feeling human, like maybe you really care about her welfare and the welfare of her son.
“The last impression is the lasting impression.”
Now about marketing:
A lot of clients I’ve worked with like the idea of warming up a list.
“Let’s not sell anything for a while! Let’s just build a relationship! Let’s give ’em value! They will love us for it!”
I gotta tell you, from personal experience:
You better make your relationship-building material something miraculously good and new. And you better end each email real strong.
Otherwise, you will just leave a dry and chalky taste in your prospects’ mouths. And the next time they get an email from you… they will think twice about biting down on your value-laden content.
But here’s an easy trick, in line with Chris Voss above.
Instead of leaving your prospects with your attempt at value… leave them with an offer.
“The last impression is the lasting impression.”
Make an underwhelming stab at value… and you’ll leave your prospects feeling let down as they walk away.
But make an offer… and your prospects will leave with some tension, mystery, and the feeling of an unexploited opportunity. They might not be ready to buy then and there. But you will make them engaged and ready to listen to you the next time.
And like I said, this all comes from personal experience.
I usually don’t sell in these emails. It’s a moral failing. That’s the only way I can describe it.
Sure, not selling has forced me to get real good at writing emails. How good exactly?
Good enough that I had an Agora publisher find my email archive, and then contact me out of the blue and offer me work.
Good enough that I’ve had a genuine guru in the industry, somebody who’s made tens of millions of dollars for himself and hundreds of millions of dollars for others, reach out to say he loves what I’m doing and that we should connect.
Good enough that, on the rare occasion that I have something coherent to sell, like my last month’s Copy Riddles run, I do fantastic.
But even with all that, my emails are still not good enough to keep up a sustainable relationship with my audience. Not long term. Not without selling all the time.
Because sooner or later I slip up. The “value” I deliver ends up a little dry and chalky. And I can see the effect. Over time, I lose people, their attention, and their engagement.
Selling something all the time would fix that. It would give folks who read my stuff a certain excitement and juice that a regular content email simply cannot replicate. Not every day.
Maybe you don’t believe me. So let me give you a demonstration. See if it convinces you.
I’m putting on a new training. It’s called Invisible Email Manipulation. It features me, in a top hat, pulling back the curtain on some of the main tricks I use to write these emails.
Like I said, I’ve been forced to get very good at writing these emails to keep people engaged… in spite of having nothing to sell most days.
I find I keep going back to the same few tricks, over and over. That’s because my tricks are powerful, and because they are different from the tricks other copywriters are using.
Maybe you’d like to learn my tricks, so you can apply them to what you or your clients are selling. If so, here’s what to do:
1. Write me an email and…
1. Let me know that yes, you are interested in Invisible Email Manipulation and…
2. Let me know one thing you did NOT like in the last copywriting training, course, or program you bought. I’m trying to position myself as being different. And no better way to do it then to be different from crap people don’t like.
So if you are interested, write me and let me know.
In return, I’ll send you the what/when/where/how/how much of this training. Plus, if you write me in the next 24 hours… as a reward, I’ll give you a discount code for 40% off the price everyone else will have to pay.