There’s a popular subreddit called starterpacks where people post made-up starter packs like…
“Every cheap Italian restaurant” starter pack
“1960s American scientist in a film” starter pack
“The “every Chevy commercial” starter pack
So here’s one for daily sales/marketing emails. Some of the following starter pack items are genuinely stupid practices, others are just overused. In any case, I’m guilty of having exploited all of them at some point. So I’m not pointing fingers. I’m just putting this starter pack together for your use and abuse.
The first daily email starter pack item is perhaps the most obvious. In fact, a friend who reads these emails called me out on it just a couple of weeks ago. So let me show you:
Daily email starter pack element #1. VSL formatting
You know what I’m talking about…
Or maybe you don’t…
But in any case…
The point is…
That a line in an email…
Can’t hold…
More than a sentence fragment.
Even a short sentence…
Is apparently too much.
Daily email starter pack element #2. Outlook 1997 styling
A daily email has to look just like a friend sent it to you, right?
Right. And that friend is writing to you from a murky past, back when email couldn’t contain html, certainly no embedded images, or any colors or markup. But even though you’re hearing from a close friend, he still feels the need to include a…
Daily email starter pack element #3. Mandatory signature
There is a girl I know who got her name tattooed on the back of her shoulder. I guess to help out one-night stands in case they forget her name. There must be some similar reasoning for people who sign each email they send out, day after day. And if signing your first name and last name isn’t enough, then you can always spice it up with…
Daily email starter pack element #4. Your made-up nickname in quotes
I first saw Andre “Whatever happened to ya?” Chaperon writing his name with a nickname jammed halfway in between. It’s a cool trick. Made less cool each time somebody copies it.
Daily email starter pack element #5. Stupid deliverability tricks
Now that I’ve got your attention, here are three things I want you to do right now:
1. Add me to your contacts
2. Drag this email out of the spam folder and into your inbox
3. Hit reply so I know you’re getting my messages. No need to write anything, because I won’t read it anyhow.
Daily email starter pack element #6. Telling it like it is
Look, unlike all the other bozos out there writing daily emails, I’ll be straight with ya. I’ve seen other people do it, and I like how tough it sounds. So even if I really have nothing to say, you can count on me to dispel myths. As soon as I actually spot one.
And there you have it. I got more of these, but these are the most widespread ones. If you want more, just hit reply. But don’t write anything.
And I’ll be right back…
In your inbox…
Same time, tomorrow.
And in just in case you forgot…
My name is…
John “Starter pack lover” Bejakovic