When I was, I don’t know, 18, my grandfather handed me a book. “Read this book,” he said. “It’s very important.”
The book was How To Win Friends And Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. It was one of my grandfather’s stock book recommendations. I think he gave me another copy a few years later.
I read the book then, and several times since.
It really is important. It’s full of simple but useful advice like, smile… be interested in other people… remember and use people’s names.
Of course, you can do all this stuff and still get nowhere, or do worse than simply not doing anything.
I remember a Mitchell & Webb skit in which two guys meet at a dinner party. One of them, played by Robert Webb, is introduced as a real “people person.” Sure enough, he does everything Dale Carnegie advises, dialed up to 11.
The guy he’s talking to, played by David Mitchell, doesn’t pick up on it at first. But then he starts to sense something strange. And eventually it dawns on him:
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Ohhh, I see what’s going on. You think you’re good with people. It all makes sense now. The fake mateyness… the rapey arm-touching… the way you keep using my name in a way that makes me feel oddly violated, as if you’d just dipped your cock in my drink.
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In short:
There’s something known as “calibration.”
In long:
When you learn any new technique and persuasion strategy, you gotta twiddle and tweak the knobs until you dial it down to the lowest possible effective dose. Otherwise you go from being a people person to being that guy or gal who “thinks he’s good with people.”
I’m telling you all this in anticipation of my new book, all about persuasion and influence, of the full and magnificent title:
10 Commandments of Con Men, Pick Up Artists, Magicians, Door-to-Door Salesmen, Hypnotists, Copywriters, Professional Negotiators, Political Propagandists, Stand Up Comedians, and Oscar-Winning Screenwriters
My goal is to finish and publish this book by March 24.
Until then, I will be writing about this book and how it’s progressing, plus what I’m thinking about doing to make it a success when it comes out.
If you are interested in the topic of this book, and you’re thinking you might wanna get a copy when it comes out, click below. I’m planning some launch bonuses and I will be dripping them out early to people on this pre-launch list:
Click here to get on the bonus-dripping pre-launch list for my new 10 Commandments book