One time, I was walking down the street when I saw a pretty girl.
I ran up to her, and I said, “Hello. I wanted to tell you that you look very nice.”
The girl looked at me coldly and said, “Thank you.” She seemed suspicious and ready to move on right away.
So what to do? How to keep the conversation going for a bit? Should I ask her where’s she’s from? Or what she does for a living? Or what her plans are for the rest of the day?
Nope.
I think all those things would have made the girl more defensive still, and would have sent her packing as soon as she gave me a curt answer.
So instead, I took a different tack and I said:
“I’ll tell you what I noticed about you. I thought you looked very elegant on top” — here I gestured with my open hand from the girl’s head down across her body — “like you work in a fancy law office. But there’s one thing that doesn’t seem to match.”
The girl’s eyes opened wide at this point. I continued:
“It’s these big white sneakers you’re wearing. They give you a 1980’s, Melanie Griffith, Working Girl kind of look.”
The girl started laughing — and she started to talk. No, it’s not a 1980’s look. She has an extra pair of flats in her bag, just it’s so cold outside so she changed into sneakers. And it’s not a law office where she works, but a graphic design studio.
Now that’s something I can work with. But why do I bring this story up?
Well, for the past 4 days, I’ve been talking about alternatives to asking crappy, yes-seeking questions. One of these alternatives was to ask open-ended questions, in the style of negotiation expert Jim Camp.
The thing is, there are situations where the other side is so cold that asking them any kind of question doesn’t work. It doesn’t get you any kind of useful information. It doesn’t get them engaged. And very likely, it kills the interaction.
So what’s the alternative?
Well, it’s to take the advice of pick up artists such as Wayne Elise AKA Juggler — and do what I did in the story above. Simply call out what you see. In other words, make assumptions and verbalize them.
The magical thing is, you don’t need to be right.
Of course, if you’re on a sales call rather than talking to a girl on the street, you don’t want to seem frivolous. But even if you make an assumption that turns out to be incorrect, odds are good that your adversary will jump in to correct you — which is a big step forward, because now you have something to work with.
Anyways, this is the fourth and final alternative I have to asking yes-seeking questions. Tomorrow I’ll be back to more traditional copywriting and marketing topics.
For now, if you want my thoughts on how to apply assumptions to email marketing, specifically for the health space, check out my upcoming book: