Ron was waiting in his wheelchair, looking up the stairs.
The necklace he had just bought was wrapped up on the table in front of him.
Finally, he saw her.
She was coming down the stairs, laughing and talking to another man.
At the bottom of the stairs, she kissed the man on the lips and grabbed him by the crotch. She then noticed Ron from the corner of her eye.
Ron quietly pulled the wrapped present off the table.
The woman came over. “We get married today?” she chuckled.
“Oh yeah, yeah,” Ron said. “That would be great.” He slumped down in his wheelchair. And he wheeled himself away.
That’s a scene scene from Oliver Stone’s Born on the Fourth of July. It’s a fictional look at the real-world horrors that paralyzed Vietnam vet Ron Kovic went through, both during the war and after.
I thought of this scene today when I heard yet another recruiting pitch for the cult of vulnerability. “Wear all your hidden handicaps on your sleeve,” the cult leaders say, “and people will love you for it.”
I want to offer you another point of view. It’s a simple formula:
Charisma = Power + Liking
I read that a long time ago in a book called The Charisma Myth. It’s stuck with me ever since.
It’s why a brutal, undefeated knight makes hearts beat faster with small acts of chivalry…
But why a vulnerable “nice guy” with flowers and gifts gets a pat on the head, at best.
Good news is, there’s a way out.
For example, at the end of the Oliver Stone movie, Ron speaks to a crowd of millions. People hang on to his every word. They absorb his anti-war message. And they applaud and cheer him.
But here’s the crucial point:
This only happens after Ron and a bunch of other vets make a scandal at the Republican National Convention… after they storm the convention hall… and after they get on TV.
So my pitch to you is to work on your power and your authority first.
Once you’ve got em in buckets, then bare your stories of self-doubt and failure.
People will listen then… they will feel good about following such an effective and yet human leader… and they might even love you for it.
In other news:
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