Do you know the story of puss in boots?
I won’t retell it all here, but the gist is that puss gets his owner, a poor and hopeless young man, in favor with the local king.
Puss does it by showing up to the king’s door over and over, bearing gifts. One time it’s a dead rabbit. Another time it’s some partridges.
“A gift from my master,” says puss in boots, “the Marquis of Carabas.”
And then one time, when the king is going for a friendly Saturday afternoon ride by the riverside, puss in boots makes it seem like the Marquis of Carabas is drowning there.
“Save that man tout suite,” the king orders, “for he is a gentleman who has sent me many fine gifts.”
And so the poor and hopeless young man is transformed into a real-life Marquis of Carabas, for a while at least.
I’m telling you this fairy tale because it has to do with cold emails. Specifically, emails (or LinkedIn messages, or Facebook, or whatever) that you might send to somebody that you hope will be your mentor.
It’s a good idea to approach your mentor bearing valuable gifts. After all, it worked so well for puss in boots. But a dead rabbit or a bunch of partridges don’t impress today like they did back in puss’s time.
So what can you do?
Well, you might try offering helpful tips… or ideas… or even your services for free. And I’m sure those things can all work on occasion.
But here’s a better approach. I heard about it today while listening to an interview with Steve Schwartzman, who happens to be one of the world’s 100 richest men, and also somebody who’s in charge of about half a trillion dollars’ worth of assets.
When asked what thing of value a poor and hopeless young man should give as a gift when approaching a powerful mentor, Schwartzman said:
“Well it’s interesting. One thing of value is flattery. People’s self-images are always unpredictable to the person who’s approaching them. And the fact that you’re approaching them helps them self-validate. The fact that you’ve thought about that person, and there’s something you do want to learn from them, there’s some piece of advice you want. All you have to do is say in effect, ‘I want to go on a journey. I want to change what I’m doing or i want to achieve something. You’ve done a bunch of that… Can you describe to me how you do that?'”
So there you go, young puss. Go out and flatter people.
Or rather, take an interest in what they are doing, and approach them with genuine interest and genuine compliments. Do it over and over. Next thing you know, you might be transformed into a real-life Marquis of Carabas.