Listen up you dreamer:
One day back in 1999, after Gordon Ramsay opened his first restaurant, he got a tableful of famous visitors.
There was Joan Collins of Dynasty fame. Then model Nicola Formby. And finally A.A. Gill, the food critic for The Sunday Times.
But Gill had earlier written a nasty review of Ramsay’s restaurant.
So Ramsay left his kitchen, walked over to the table, and kicked the whole group out.
Speaking later, an emotional A.A. Gill said:
“He seems to be a classic bully. Somebody who will overreact to people beneath him. And then feel terribly aggrieved when somebody he doesn’t have innate power over criticizes him.”
Sounds about right, yeah?
Ramsay is famous for his outbursts. (“Will he be able to control it?” asks the breathless TV teaser.)
He yells. He insults. He curses.
“Yes, Gordon,” his humbled staff reply, eyes on the floor.
And that’s my takeaway for you today.
A while ago, I made a brain dump of ideas on the topic of “natural authority.” What do people who have inborn charisma seem to share?
One of the things on my list was that they target the weak. You know. The poor, the friendless, the tax collectors and sinners.
Because as powerful as natural authority is, it won’t work reliably on a healthy, stable person without any gaping emotional wounds.
But the insight I learned recently, through Mike Mandel and Chris Thompson, is that people with natural authority can create emotional wounds. On demand.
One way is just what Gordon Ramsay does. Insults, humiliation, browbeating. Not all the time. But enough that there’s always a risk of it.
And here’s my addition to this theory:
I believe that a “temper,” as TV calls it, is not only a means to natural authority. It’s also a signal of it.
In other words, you don’t have to get personally insulted by a would-be leader in order for his authority to rise in your eyes. It’s enough to see it happen to somebody else. For example, to an emotional food critic, getting kicked out, while a restaurant full of people watches.
That’s why as a society, we love people like Ramsay. Sure, it’s both horrifying and entertaining to watch others getting cowed and humiliated. But it also feeds our need to look to a charismatic leader.
And by the way:
You can see the same in various corners of the online guru and influencer world.
Now that you know this, you can choose to use it yourself — or at least be aware of what’s happening in your own head, when you witness others using it.
One last thing:
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