I mean it. I like you. I will tell you why, but first, let me tell you what just happened to me:
I called an Uber to go from one end of town to the other. I waited on the curb. And when the Uber came, he drove right by me.
He then stopped in the middle of the road and put on his hazard lights.
What to do? I dodged traffic to get to the middle of the road. But as I was nearing the Uber, he drove off.
I watched him drive down the block and turn the corner. I then dodged traffic again and got back on the curb.
What to do, a second time? I followed down the block and around the corner.
Fortunately, the driver had pulled over. I managed to catch him and get in.
“It’s my first day on the job,” he said.
We took off, but his GPS was completely out of whack. It told us to go in the opposite direction from where we were headed.
The driver claimed to know the city but he didn’t. So I gave him directions, in between listening to his stories from the last regional war, a topic I am not fond of hearing about.
After a half hour of this, we made it to my destination. And it turned out the driver had never started the ride inside his Uber app.
That’s why the GPS was completely messed up.
It also meant he wouldn’t get paid. He seemed bewildered and nonplussed.
”Take it easy,” I said, “we’ll solve it.” So I walked him through canceling the ride in the app. And I pulled out my wallet and gave him cash, even though I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t already be charged in some way for the ride.
So the question becomes:
Why help this guy out, in spite of the hassles and discomfort he put me through, instead of just bolting from the car and saying, “Thanks and good luck!”
One option of course is that I’m just a kind and decent person. But knowing myself as I do… well, let’s look for alternate explanations.
A second option was the guy’s disarming helplessness. There is something to wanting to help people who are extremely unokay.
But there’s a third option, too.
Because as we were nearing the end of our trip, the Uber driver told me:
“I’m glad I met you. Not just as a customer, but as a person. I feel I could learn a lot from you.” This I guess was his response to my keeping intelligently silent while he talked the whole way.
The fact is, we all respond to flattery. Even when there’s little or no basis for it.
Car salesman Joe Girard, who sold an average of 5 cars a day and holds the Guinness World Record for the sellingest car salesman, sent out postcards to his customers every month.
The occasion to each mailing would be different — Christmas, National Bath Safety Month, Valentine’s Day. But each month, the message would always be the same 3 words:
I like you.
Of course, while flattery works, it’s even better if you compliment somebody earnestly. So let me repeat I like you and tell you that, while I don’t know much about you, I can infer a few good things with confidence.
Such as that you’re interested in improving yourself, learning, and developing your skills. And that you’re willing to read to do it. And that you’re probably interested in writing too, or creating content rather than just consuming it. All these are good qualities, and ones I’m trying to develop also.
So that’s it. No pitch. But if you do want to stay in touch with me, one option is to sign up to my daily email un-newsletter.