How hard do you think it would be to get a mail-order bride?
What if you were rich? Incredibly successful? Clever? Funny? Do you think that would help?
What if you were a master of persuasion to boot? What if you could write an ad selling yourself… using your masterful persuasion skills? Do you think you could get a nice Russian woman to fly over and marry you and your millions, sight unseen?
It might seem like a layup. But it isn’t.
A-list copywriter Jim Rutz, who was one of the most successful copywriters of all time, tried it. Apparently Rutz was a virgin until age 40. So he sought out mail-order love with an ad he wrote himself:
“Damsel Wanted (Distress Optional)”
But it didn’t work out. Rutz never did get married. Which makes me think of those ads for a “copywriting ninja superstar,” which are looking for somebody “who can sell ice to an Eskimo.”
Well, here was Rutz. Rich. Successful. And just about as good at written persuasion as anybody ever.
And yet. Single.
Which brings me to a passage from the Gary Halbert letter. Gary, another master of persuasion, was writing on the topic of “challenges.” It’s what I’ll leave you with today, because it’s stuck with me for years:
American business owners need another “challenge” about as much as Warren Beatty needs help getting dates. What we need are “set-ups,” lay-down hands, deals that can’t hardly miss even if everything goes wrong. (As it always does.)
I wanna sell heroin to junkies. Fudge bars that make you skinny to porkers. Porno videos to Pee Wee Herman. Travel luggage to President Bush. Memory pills to Ronald Reagan. Kitty Kelley dart boards to Nancy Reagan. Condoms to Geraldo Rivera. (Did you read his new book? Whew!) Booze to Ted Kennedy. I.Q. pills to Dan Quayle, etc… etc… etc.
Are you getting the idea? I don’t want (and certainly don’t need) another “challenge.” No… I WANT IT TO BE EASY!”
If you’re still reading, maybe you’re an addict for direct response and copywriting knowledge.
In that, I’ve got an offer that might be a layup:
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