John Bejakovic

The end of Stansberry?

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Last week, a reader of my email newsletter who works for an Agora affiliate clued me into the following fact:

Stansberry Research is going public.

Stansberry, as you probably know, is one of the biggest imprints that came out of Agora. They had the End of America promo. This was one of the two or three biggest direct response campaigns of all time, bringing in hundreds of millions of dollars through a single VSL.

When I heard that Stansberry is going public, my first thought was to David Bowie.

Back in 1997, Bowie released 10-year bonds backed by the future royalties of his album sales.

​​Bowie bonds put $55 million into David Bowie’s pocket, and were given a respectable A3 rating.

​​But within a couple of years, digital file sharing caused the whole music album market to implode. Bowie bonds were downgraded to Baa3, one notch above junk bond status.

Maybe David Bowie, with his artist’s intuition, sensed it coming, and made a smart cash grab just in time?

And maybe Porter Stansberry, using his entrepreneur’s intuition, senses something similar in the current moment?

The Agora copywriter who told me about this assured me I’m imagining things. “It’s probably Stansberry himself wants to be a billionaire. He must be pretty close now.”

A Barrons article that reported on this quoted the CEO of the company that’s taking Stansberry public through a merger. That guy’s reasoning:

“We were looking for a company in the attention economy with scalable, digitally delivered IP. As people say, ‘content is king.’ But it’s rare that you find a company that’s as prolific at creating new IP… They’re like the Netflix of financial content.”

So rather than this being a Bowie moment, maybe it’s a Netflix moment?

​​A moment in which a somewhat limited, niche company uses its own existing assets and a bunch of cash to become a mainstream powerhouse?

Or maybe it’s a sign of things to come — Stansberry & chill?

Maybe. I’m not convinced. But I am curious. So if like me, you dip your toes in the direct response pond, it might be worth keeping an eye on the the ripples from this isolated pebble drop.

Or do you want me to keep an eye out for you? If so, then sign up for my email newsletter, because that’s where all my writing shows up first.

How to get booked solid with paying clients without prospecting any harder or dropping your prices

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Today I have a copywriting tip for you, not a lead-gen tip. But if you are looking for a way to get more client work, then here’s an idea from a recent Ben Settle email:

If you want clients who love and rave about you, be punctual.

It truly separates the men from the boys.

It also will make what I teach in my “Email Client Horde” book that’s on sale today a lot more powerful — potentially ramping up the respect and gratitude clients have for you, wanting to keep you, and not wanting to hire anyone else.

I’ve seen (and experienced) it many times.

I suspect you can, too.

Ben’s email had the subject line, “A secret way of using an ordinary pocket watch to get booked solid with paying clients.”

It’s a standard bullet writing technique. You zoom in on the solution. And then you zoom in some more. So far in, that the reader starts to wonder, “A pocket watch? Why specifically a pocket watch? Gotta find out.”

The best copywriters out there, from Gary Bencivenga to Parris Lampropoulos and David Deutsch, all use this technique regularly. But there’s a problem:

You can’t use it all the time. Your readers get wise, and get burned out. “Oh, it’s the teaspoon trick.” “Not the air conditioner secret again.” “There he goes, trying to get me to read by zooming in on a hairbrush.”

So what can you do?

There’s a second clever thing A-list copywriters do in situations like this. It’s probably obvious because you can find it in the subject line of this very email.

But if it’s not fully obvious, or you want a few examples of how A-list copywriters use this trick to create bullets that seem to be truly impossible, then you can find that in lesson 8 of my bullets course.

​​Which you can’t join just yet… but which will be available soon. If you want to make sure you get in while it is available, sign up for my email newsletter, because that’s where I will first announce it.

My shame-filled run at becoming a U.S. Park Ranger

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I used to be a real sucker for direct response offers. For example…

One day in high school, I was leafing through the classifieds in the local paper. And one ad made my eyes pop out:

“Get a job as a U.S. Park Ranger. Beautiful work, solid pay. Results guaranteed or your money back.”

For context: I hated high school. I had no ambition of going to college. And I didn’t like people.

“So you’re telling me I can get paid to commune with bears among the hush of the redwoods?” I squinted at the ad. “Hell yes!”

If I remember right, the cost to become a U.S. Park Ranger (as per the classified) was something like $60. That was money I didn’t have… but I begged, borrowed, and stole enough to get it. What did it matter? I could pay it all back with my first U.S. Park Ranger salary. It was guaranteed.

A few weeks later, my “Become a Park Ranger” kit arrived in the mail.

It consisted of a thick binder with study materials and instructions on how to apply for the 3x/year government test procedure that was the first step to becoming a park ranger.

Huh?

A thick binder? Studying for a test? On the off chance that maybe in a year, I could get paid to walk around Yosemite, away from the horrors of high school?

My heart sank. This is not what I had signed up for. And my beautiful $60… where did it go? I called up the company, and with a trembling voice, I asked if I could get a refund.

“Did you take the Park Ranger test already?” the other end asked.

“Uhh… no?”

“Well, that’s the condition for our refund guarantee. Take the test, and if you don’t pass, we will give you your money back.”

I think I buried my “Become a Park Ranger” kit in the back yard that night, so it didn’t remind me of my shame, failure, and lost money.

But who knows. Maybe I will still get $60 worth of story out of it. Because it’s a good illustration of an idea I recently got from marketer Rich Schefren:

“Your offer is not only ‘You pay me x and you get y.’ It’s also what your customer has to do with y to get the outcome.”

Maybe that sounds trivial. After all, the first thing you’re taught in copywriting school is that people don’t want a quarter-inch drill, they want a quarter-inch hole in the head. And nobody wakes up at 3am, sweating because they don’t have enough newsletter subscriptions, right?

Well, it might be basic. But how many of us actually abide by these rules when we create offers?

Of course, one way to use this is simply to promise the redwoods and the bears, and to make no mention of thick binders and exam procedures.

​​Trouble is, you need a real sucker to fall for that. And even then, it’s hard to build a repeat business.

So that leaves you with the other option. Which is to actually reduce as much as possible the time and effort that your customer has to invest, post-purchase, to actually get the result he is after.

​Not only will this make for an easier sell… not only will it produce satisfied customers who come back for more, over and over… but it also means folks will pay much more, right up front. Even if they have to beg, borrow, and steal to do it.

Anyways, here’s my offer to you:

Do you want to become a better marketer or copywriter? Tough, isn’t it?

Well, if you sign up to get my email newsletter, I take all the weight off your shoulders. I do the research about the best ideas… I find the entertaining and appealing stories that make these ideas slip easily into your brain… and I package it all up and send it to you every day.

Best part?

You don’t even have to read anything! Just open up my emails when they arrive and stare at your screen for a few seconds. Your marketing and copywriting IQ will increase automatically. Results are guaranteed. To sign up, please send me $60 in cash and then follow the instructions given here.

Why you’re not getting anything done

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“What do you want me to say?” I snapped.

My mom gave me a call yesterday. “What’s your plan for today?” she asked.

“I’m trying to work,” I said, “but I’m not being very productive.”

That was a mistake. Because it was really an invitation for my mom to ask me the worst possible question:

“Why do you think that is?”

I’ve written before about Tony Robbins. I’ve learned a lot from the guy. Perhaps the most valuable thing was the power of asking the right questions.

It really works.

By asking myself the right questions, I’ve made my way out of seemingly impossible situations, by doing less and by having more fun than I would ever have believed possible.

And vice versa.

By asking the wrong questions, I just agitate and muddle the mess I am already in. It starts to feel hopeless.

“Why do I think I’m not being productive? Let’s see… because I’m lazy? Because I’m frustrated with the project I’m working on? Because I feel the deadline looming… because I worry that I will miss it… and because I’m not strong enough to control my own brain, so this is turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy? What do you want me to say?”

Well. I didn’t say most of that stuff. But I was thinking it, while biting my lip. So I told my mom I would talk to her later, and I got back to staring at my half-complete, frustrating project, head in hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Because asking WHY primes your brain to focus on failure and shortcomings. And while that might sound smart, it’s actually a bad way to spend your energy, and unlikely to do anything to move you forward. So don’t do it if you’re trying to be productive.

BUT!

Focusing on WHY is a great thing to get your prospect to do. Particularly if you have a new answer to that question.

As I’ve written before, a new answer to “WHY do I always fail” can allow you to “get one up” on jaded, hostile prospects who think they are too smart to fall for your marketing. And if you do it right, you can even become a star in your niche.

I won’t lay out the whole case for you here. That’s because I’ve written about this topic in detail already. You can find it as Commandment VII of my short book, The 10 Commandments of A-list Copywriters. In case you’re interested:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

How to get away with making extreme promises more often than you would ever believe

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In a recent email, A-list copywriter David Deutsch included the following P.S.:

P.S. Justin Goff says working with me enabled him to multiply his income 10 times over.

Not saying I’ll do that for you.

But it does show the power of getting the right kind of help improving your copy.

I call this frontloading. Here’s a second example of it, from an email by Ben Settle:

And it contains the exact same methods I used to land high-paying clients who could have easily afforded to hire better and more seasoned writers. But, using my sneaky ways, they not only hired me… they hired only me (often multiple times, plus referring me to their friends), without doing the usual client-copywriter dance around price, without jumping through hoops to sell myself, and without even showing them my portfolio, in most cases.

I used this info during good and bad economic times.

In fact, I got more high paying clients during the bad times (2008-2010) than the good times.

I cannot guarantee you will have the same results.

And the methodology doesn’t work overnight.

But, that’s how it worked out in my case, and this book shows you what I did.

So those are two examples of frontloading. It works like this:

First, you make a powerful, extreme promise. Then you qualify your promise. That way, you create believability… while still leaving the extreme promise ringing in your prospect’s head.

This works well as a way to organize a single sales argument (as in David’s case above). It can also shape your entire message (as in Ben’s email).

I think of it like grabbing a man by the shoulders and shaking him violently. Once his body goes limp and his head starts to swim, then you let him go and even dust off his shoulders and straighten out his rumpled shirt a bit.

In other words, you agitate and agitate your prospect… and then you agitate some more… and then you ask him to be reasonable.

Of course, you can also choose to be more subtle about it. You can only agitate a little bit, and then immediately get more reasonable. This can work well in your subject lines… or even your headlines.

Anyways, in case you want to get on board the most interesting email newsletter in the world, according to several marketers and copywriters who are subscribed to it, here’s where to go.

I like you and here’s why

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I mean it. I like you. I will tell you why, but first, let me tell you what just happened to me:

I called an Uber to go from one end of town to the other. I waited on the curb. And when the Uber came, he drove right by me.

He then stopped in the middle of the road and put on his hazard lights.

What to do? I dodged traffic to get to the middle of the road. But as I was nearing the Uber, he drove off.

I watched him drive down the block and turn the corner. I then dodged traffic again and got back on the curb.

What to do, a second time? I followed down the block and around the corner.

Fortunately, the driver had pulled over. I managed to catch him and get in.

“It’s my first day on the job,” he said.

We took off, but his GPS was completely out of whack. It told us to go in the opposite direction from where we were headed.

The driver claimed to know the city but he didn’t. So I gave him directions, in between listening to his stories from the last regional war, a topic I am not fond of hearing about.

After a half hour of this, we made it to my destination. And it turned out the driver had never started the ride inside his Uber app.

That’s why the GPS was completely messed up.

It also meant he wouldn’t get paid. He seemed bewildered and nonplussed.

​​”Take it easy,” I said, “we’ll solve it.” ​​So I walked him through canceling the ride in the app. And I pulled out my wallet and gave him cash, even though I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t already be charged in some way for the ride.​​
​​
So the question becomes:

​Why help this guy out, in spite of the hassles and discomfort he put me through, instead of just bolting from the car and saying, “Thanks and good luck!”​

One option of course is that I’m just a kind and decent person. But knowing myself as I do… well, let’s look for alternate explanations.

A second option was the guy’s disarming helplessness. There is something to wanting to help people who are extremely unokay.

But there’s a third option, too.

Because as we were nearing the end of our trip, the Uber driver told me:

“I’m glad I met you. Not just as a customer, but as a person. I feel I could learn a lot from you.” This I guess was his response to my keeping intelligently silent while he talked the whole way.

The fact is, we all respond to flattery. Even when there’s little or no basis for it.

Car salesman Joe Girard, who sold an average of 5 cars a day and holds the Guinness World Record for the sellingest car salesman, sent out postcards to his customers every month.

​​The occasion to each mailing would be different — Christmas, National Bath Safety Month, Valentine’s Day. But each month, the message would always be the same 3 words:

I like you.

Of course, while flattery works, it’s even better if you compliment somebody earnestly. So let me repeat I like you and tell you that, while I don’t know much about you, I can infer a few good things with confidence.

Such as that you’re interested in improving yourself, learning, and developing your skills. And that you’re willing to read to do it. And that you’re probably interested in writing too, or creating content rather than just consuming it. All these are good qualities, and ones I’m trying to develop also.

So that’s it. No pitch. But if you do want to stay in touch with me, one option is to sign up to my daily email un-newsletter.

An email marketing and business-building topic

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Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash despises his band’s biggest hit, Sweet Child O’ Mine.

​​Slash came up with the famous intro riff as a joke, by playing a “circus tune” that mocked the popular guitar technique of string skipping. But the rest of the band picked up on the joke riff and developed the song.

They recorded it, and in 1988, it became their one and only no. 1 hit. Now, 30-something years later, the video for Sweet Child O’ Mine has over 1.2 billion views on YouTube.

You can file that away as “useless fact #754 that’s stayed stuck in JB’s head for the past 20 years.” Except there is a point to it:

If you create anything, even some bastard form like sales emails or blog content, you might start to get bored. Your taste and interests might evolve away from where your audience is. You might veer off and cover topics that you haven’t covered before, and stop covering topics that your audience wants.

Examples of this:

1. I used to follow a guy online who wrote a blog about picking up girls and self-improvement topics. All right. Then he started writing book reviews of the manly pulp novels he was reading. No. Delete.

2. I recently heard Gary Bencivenga talk about email marketing for his olive oil business. “If we don’t put ‘olive oil’ somewhere in the subject line,” Gary said, “we can’t get people to open up the emails at all.”​​

3. My own email newsletter. It’s mainly about persuasion, marketing and copywriting. Whenever I get away from those topics, I feel the pulse of my list slow down. I never tried pushing it… but I bet that after a week of off-topic emails I’d hear the flat line of no pulse at all.

So my point to you is to beware.

Your audience came to you for a reason. If you don’t respect that, even in spite of your own fancy and evolving tastes, you will miss out on those blockbuster #1 hits… and pretty soon, you will lose ’em altogether. And then you’ll be left singing like Axl:

Where do we go?

Where do we go now?

I’ll tell you where you go. At least if you’re interested in persuasion, marketing, and copywriting. You go to my email newsletter. Available for free here.

Great product names for dummies

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Today I spent some time looking up the worst book titles of all time, according to the Internet. Here are a few standouts:

– The Joy Of Uncircumcising
– You Are Worthless
– Reusing Old Graves
– The Missionary Position: Mother Theresa In Theory – And Practice
– How Green Were The Nazis?

Ridiculous, right? But it’s easy to shake your head and point and laugh. Can you do better though?

Can you come up with a great book title that gets people to latch on to a book… pick it up… thumb through it… buy it… and mention it to friends, before they’ve even read it?

It’s a relevant question if you’re a marketer or copywriter. Because book titles are the closest mainstream thing to naming direct response products and offers.

If you like, I’ll tell you what I think. I think there are lots of ways to come up with good titles or offer names. Let me illustrate just one:

– The 4-Hour Workweek
– The 16-Word Sales Letter
– The Lazy Man’s Way To Riches

How good are these titles actually? ​​Well, the first and third are backed up by results.

Neither Tim Ferriss nor Joe Karbo were famous. And yet they managed to get their books to millions of people, largely on the strength of the appeals in those 4- and 5-word titles.

The second title on that list is a book by Evaldo Albuquerque. It’s about a very niche topic — writing long-form sales letters. And even so, it’s got a respectable 260 reviews on Amazon.

A part of that is because Evaldo is as close to a star as you can get in this field. Plus he has the backing of many copywriting and marketing influencers.

But his title certainly helps. And in any case, it’s an illustration of the point I want to make:

* You can write a good name through paradox.

“Paradox” in this case is a shortcut for flat-out impossibility (“The 16-Word Sales Letter”)… contradiction (“The Lazy Man’s Way To Riches”)… or subverting strong expectations (“The 4-Hour Workweek”).

So how do you use this? All I can do is give you an example.

​​Say you’re selling a solution that helps people title their books. So you start with “book title” in the name of your offer. And then you ask yourself:

What’s the opposite of that? What are things that people believe to be “musts” around this topic? What are people expecting?

Well, one thing people might expect is that a good title has to be short. So you could use the name:

“The 99-Word Book Title”

People might also expect that you have to be creative to come up with a good name. So here’s option two:

“The Dullard’s Way To Great Book Titles”

Finally, people might think that coming up with a title name will take brainstorming or a lot of time. So you subvert that:

“The 4-Second Book Title”

But perhaps the results still suck. Fear not. There are lots of formulas you can use.

​​For example, if your topic is tricky, overwhelming, or requires study or intelligence… there’s an easy way to turn that into a title that works. Just put your topic in your name… and then attach “for dummies” at the end. And if you think you need it, add a disclaimer:

“Great Product Names For Dummies: Not just for dummies — but for everyone who is intrigued by paradox!”

Well. Maybe you’re still not sold. Maybe you want more ways to come up with great names for your product or offer. Then here’s an offer of my own:

I write an email newsletter. Product naming is something I might talk about more in the future… or I might not. But if I do, my newsletter is the first place where any such talk will go. If you don’t want to miss that, click here to subscribe.

Fun but true: A game about the online marketing hamster wheel

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Today I spent 241.81 seconds to complete the fun “Terms and Conditions” game. The game is simple but devious:

You start with a barrage of popups. You have to opt out and reject more and more complex attempts to track you, to get you signed up to a newsletter, to trick you into something you don’t want.

One of the popups is in Morse code.

A few contain logical puzzles you have to solve.

One I still haven’t figured out, because it seems to be a game of chance, like simplified roulette.

Anyways, my point is this sounds a lot like the world of online direct marketing.

Escalating armaments on both sides… with marketers coming up with new and clever ways to trick prospects into clicking, opting in, and buying… and prospects scrambling to fight back and protect their privacy, their attention, and their wallets.

Perhaps I am just lazy. But I find it to be a revolting amount of wasted effort on both sides. Like both marketers and prospects are running on parallel hamster wheels, trying to outpace the other guy.

I don’t mean to get all heavy on you. But I will point out that there are direct marketers who have figured out how to step off the hamster wheel and still keep making good money.

I’m sure there are many ways you can do it. I’ve already written about one such way, which I called the “Brand Marketing Rapture”.

But there are others, and I will probably write about them in the future. If you don’t want to miss that… you can sign up to my newsletter (beware, an optin form will pop up) by clicking here.

Beware “spiritual” and “heart-centered” customers

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Time for a personal revelation:

I went to college in Santa Cruz, California, a place filled with weed-smoking, patchouli-burning, beatific-smiling hippies. And I remember talking to my roommate at the time about the following paradox.

As a group, hippies claim to be all about peace, love, and understanding. But at an individual level, they tend to be some judgmental, closed-minded, and often nasty people.

Bah. Who knows. Maybe I was just projecting.

Anyways, I remembered this today because of something I heard Todd Herman say.

I’d never heard of Herman until today. Apparently he’s a big deal. He works with Olympic athletes and became a success in spite of his dyslexia. And now he runs successful online programs teaching you how to peakify your performance.

These are quality programs, says Herman, with low refund rates. But some people do refund, and Herman wanted to see if there are any patterns here.

So Herman tracked down the social profiles of the refunders. He wanted their Twitter and Facebook self-descriptions. He took these and dumped them all into a big file, and then put this into some software for creating a tag cloud.

And what came out? Who were the people who were buying and then returning these programs, which Herman says most everyone else is thrilled with?

Well, draw your own conclusions. But according to Todd Herman, two phrases kept cropping up in these social profile bios:

1. “Heart-centered”

and

2. “Spiritual”

This personally confirms my previous biases… but even so. If you sell anything online, it might be good for you to know, and might save you some frustration.

And now, here’s my (qualified) pitch to you:

I heard Todd Herman talk about this during his Steal Our Winners segment.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you know that once a month, I plug Steal Our Winners. That’s because each month, Rich Schefren manages to get six or seven top-level marketers to share a tip or trick or even strategy that’s working really well for ’em right now.

In a normal month, I find at least three or four segments to be really interesting.

But not so this month. This month, I only found Todd Herman’s part interesting. Herman talked about a clever system he has for getting his customers to reveal their deep seated motivations, in their own words.

It might not sound like breakthrough stuff… but if you do do it, it will make your audience say, “Wow… it’s like you’re reading my mind. How did you do that?” And that’s good for sales… as well as your relationship with your audience.

So that’s my qualified pitch for Steal Our Winners. Most months, you get at least 3 or 4 good and genuinely new ideas. Some months though, you might only get one.

But however many good ideas you get, they won’t be worth anything unless you implement them. On the other hand, if you implement even one, it will certainly be worth much more than the low, low price of a Steal Our Winners subscription.

How low are we talking about? Actually, I don’t know. I signed up for a lifetime subscription a while ago, and the price may have gone up since.

But I do know you can try out Steal Our Winners for one month, and listen to Todd Herman’s interview if you like, for an unthinkable fee of $1 (yes, one dollar). In case you’re interested, here’s where to go:

https://www.bejakovic.com/sow​​