A little over two months ago, I arrived to Barcelona, Spain, with the goal of finding an apartment to live in long term. I’ve written about that before.
What I haven’t written about was that the very first day of arriving to Barcelona, I decided I had made a huge mistake. About everything.
My Airbnb, where I was supposed to stay in for the two weeks of the apartment search, was depressing and uncomfortable.
In spite of the dozens of inquiries I had sent to real estate agents, I was getting practically no response.
The one viewing I had managed to schedule was canceled two hours before it was supposed to happen.
That first day, walking around the city. I looked at the thousands of unfamiliar faces walking past me, all speaking languages I didn’t understand. And I grew disgusted, both with the city and myself.
“Even if — and that’s a huge if — I somehow manage to find a decent place to live,” I said to myself, “what am I possibly going to do here? I don’t speak the language. I don’t know anybody. I have no conceivable reason to be here.”
Barcelona might be a beautiful place to visit, I decided. But as a town to live in? Absolutely not. At least for me.
I had no intention of staying and continuing my apartment search. So I bought a ticket to fly out of town for the very next day. Why linger?
At the same time, leaving felt like a defeat and a proof of failure. I felt awful in every way.
Over the past couple days, I’ve been telling you about the six characteristics of a positive attitude. Today it’s time for the third characteristic:
“Chunking-down goals”
My story above illustrates what happens when you don’t chunk down your goals. When you don’t focus on the next step of the journey you have to take, and instead allow yourself to get buried by the immensity of what’s ahead.
When I arrived to Barcelona, I thought about the unpleasant and complicated process of finding an apartment. But not only that.
I also thought about need to learn a new language… to create a new social circle… and maybe, even something bigger and more long-term than that.
That amount of stuff to do is overwhelming. Particularly when your inquiries are getting no response… when the place you are in is depressing or uncomfortable… and when and the doors of an opportunity shut before you have a chance to run through them.
So what to do?
In my case, I called some family, I talked to some friends. They pointed out the obvious. That I was keeping too much in my head. That I should focus on just one thing — finding an apartment — for the next two weeks. That I should keep everything else out of mind until that first step is done.
And that’s what I did. It was a success.
Like I’ve written before, I managed to find a beautiful apartment in spite of the unpromising odds.
Then I started working on the language issue. In time, I might even meet some people here. And until that happens, I’ve invited friends to visit and stay with me.
The bigger point I want to make is that all this positive attitude stuff might sound obvious or even trivial.
And it is — when things are going well.
But in the press of life, it’s easy to forget how to be positive, and to get into a different mental state. To get overwhelmed, dark, or even negative.
During those times, remembering these few “obvious” characteristics of a positive attitude can tell you where you went wrong. And more importantly, it can tell you what to do to get on a better track.
That’s why I’m telling you about this positive attitude stuff. So maybe you remember it in moments of crisis. So maybe I myself remember it when I make my next huge mistake.
Of course, you need all six characteristics for a positive attitude to be strong and stable.
I’ve told you three characteristics so far. I’ll wrap it up over the coming days. In case you want to read that as it comes out, sign up to my daily newsletter here.