Over the past few years, it’s become trendy to say, “Stop reading the news, it’s like junk food, bad for your health.”
Maybe so. But without The Daily McMail, where would I find tasty morsels like this headline today:
“Women who make more money than their partner are TWICE as likely to fake orgasms, study reveals”
The revealing study, which came out earlier this year, was pretty straightforward.
Researchers at the University of South Florida surveyed 157 women in sexual relationships with a man. And the researchers asked these women embarrassing personal questions.
Result:
It turns out women who earn more than their male partner (29.6% of the sample) were twice as likely to fake orgasm.
Like I said, that part of the science is pretty straightforward.
Where it gets more murky is the moral interpretation of this sensitive issue. According to Professor Jessica Jordan, the lead researcher behind the study, the interpretation is this:
“Women are prioritising what they think their partners need over their own sexual needs and satisfaction. When society creates an impossible standard of masculinity to maintain, nobody wins.”
In other words, society says that men should earn more than women… but some men fail at this and their egos crumble… and then their women are forced to coddle them as a result.
Perhaps. But perhaps there are other interpretations?
For example, here’s a personal confession:
Some 20 years ago, my mind was warped by reading a pop-science book called Sperm Wars. And ever since, I’ve been a bit of a science Columbo on all things female orgasm.
That’s why I remember a second study, one that came out in 2009, in the pre-gender-dismantling era.
This study was also based on a survey, in this case, of 1,534 couples. The results were summarized in the headline of a Business Insider article:
“Study: Rich Men Give Women More Orgasms”
The author of the underlying study, a certain Dr Thomas Pollet of Newcastle University, gave his interpretation of the statistics. From the Business Insider article:
“He believes the phenomenon is an ‘evolutionary adaptation’ that is hard-wired into women, driving them to select men on the basis of their perceived quality.”
Perhaps this could also explain all those extra fake orgasms in 2022?
Perhaps those faking women just find themselves horribly unattracted to their lower-earning partners. And that’s a problem — both personally and in the relationship.
So what to do?
The best thing really is to watch a little When Harry Met Sally… take notes on the restaurant scene… and put on a similar show the next time it’s time.
Because like I wrote yesterday, denial might just be a fundamental human activity. It might just be something we all do, all the time, in order to make life acceptable in our minds and bearable in practice.
And the fact is, denial manifests itself in different ways.
There’s flat-out denial, which I wrote about yesterday:
“No, of course not. I’m not bothered that you earn less than me. It’s certainly not any kind of turn-off.”
But another type of denial is what psychologists call reaction formation. That’s when you don’t just deny… but you claim or do the exact opposite:
“Yes, yes, take me, you low-earning animal!”
Of course, if my theory is true, it begs the question why these women would deny their lack of attraction in the bedroom… but break down and confess it when questioned by Professor Jessica Jordan.
My only answer to that is that there are different levels of denial.
Some denial is complete — we can’t face up to the fact at all, and we have to change our inner movie to fit what we want to believe.
But other denial is partial — we act as if, we claim as if, but on some conscious level, we are aware it’s not really as if.
Anyways, perhaps you say I’m completely off with my denial-of-unattraction theory.
But perhaps you feel there might be something to my idea. In that case, I’ve got two takeaways for you.
First, if you’re a guy, and the thought of your woman faking orgasm makes you shudder with feelings of shame and inadequacy… then the best thing to do might be to get better at sales and marketing, and start earning more money.
My second takeaway can be summed up by the following headline.
It comes from the tabloid The Daily Bejakovic. And it’s about a study performed at the University of Bejakovic, by a certain Dr. Johann Bejakovic. The headline reads:
“Study: Men and women who emphatically claim anything are TWICE as likely to secretly believe the exact opposite”
Anyways, if you want more ideas on denial, which you can use for your own research into your own mind or the mind of your market, then sign up for my email newsletter here.