I used to watch a lot of Saturday Night Live back in the 1990s. There was an ongoing skit with Phil Hartman playing Stuart Smalley, a sappy man with a lisp and a non-Duchenne smile.
Stuart is working on improving his self-image. So in each skit, he looks at himself in the mirror, smiles his fake smile, and repeats:
“I’m good enough… I’m smart enough… and doggone it, people like me.”
This was funny in the 90s. I guess this affirmation stuff was in the water back then.
It might be less funny today because today’s water contains a lower ppm of affirmations. In part, that’s due to party-pooping scientists like Joanne Wood from the University of Waterloo.
Back in 2009, Prof. Wood took a bunch of undergrads and had them repeat affirmations.
“I’m good enough… I’m smart enough… and doggone it, people like me.”
This had a positive effect — on people who were already pretty happy with themselves.
But with people who had low self-esteem to start with, it had negative effect. It made them conclude the opposite and feel worse.
“I’m defective somehow… I’m too stupid… and doggone it, nobody likes me.”
My point for you is to be careful if you are a naturally gung-ho marketer, making empowering claims at your prospects.
“You’re amazing! You can do it! It’s not your fault you failed until now!”
If you resort to claims like this, you might have the intended effect on the people in your market who were born yesterday… and who haven’t yet learned to doubt themselves.
For the rest of ’em, the ones who have become disillusioned with both the offers in your market and with themselves, you’ll need another approach. You’ll need to raise your prospects’ self-esteem so they believe they are unique… smart enough… and competent enough to succeed.
How can you do this?
Well, I’ll write more about that down the line (you can get it in my newsletter if you like). For now, let me reveal the obvious secret that self-esteem rises not because you say so… but indirectly, because you make people feel it inside them, without any affirmations.