When I was a freshman in college, I and all the guys I knew were in love with a girl named Leila.
Leila lived in the campus apartment next to mine. She had big brown hair and big brown eyes and was all-around pretty. On top of which, she had a bubbly and yet moody personality. I guess this was catnip to incompetent, inexperienced, unassertive 19-year-old boys like myself.
One day, it turned out Leila had finally chosen somebody from the herd.
The winner was a meek, clean-cut, marathon-running physics major from the next building over. I saw him and Leila around campus a few days in a row, talking intimately, walking by themselves, whispering in the dark.
Leila enthused to her friends how smart this guy was, and how serious, and how she liked his self-respect.
And then, a week later, it was all over. Through the college grapevine, I heard why Leila cut the guy off.
“He just never made a move,” she said.
Yesterday, I kicked off my bullets course. More people signed up for it than I expected. Enough that I could look for patterns and trends, both to make the course better and more interesting for the people who joined… and just for my own curiosity.
So it turns out the members of the trial run of my bullets course are:
1. Geographically spread out, with a predictably big focus on the U.S.
2. Almost exclusively men
3. About an even split between business owners and freelance copywriters
None of this is particularly surprising or interesting. But the following is:
Two out of three people who signed up for my course joined my email list in just the past three months.
For reference, I’ve been writing these emails for the past two and a half years. During that time, I’ve had a steady trickle of new signups.
Many people who signed up for this newsletter in 2019 and 2020 still read these emails. Some regularly. And yet, there’s that stat above. Two out of three people who signed up for the course only joined my email list in the past three months.
I guess there might be complex reasons for this. But I want to give you a simple explanation, which is probably good enough. And that is:
Recency matters.
In sex and in sales, it takes some time to build a basic relationship, demonstrate competence, and excite desire.
But this time is often less than you might think. And after somebody expresses interest… and once you’re past this giving-you-a-shot period… more is not better.
People cool off. They might still like you… but they put you in the friend zone. The way to avoid this is simple. Just make a move.
And now the big question:
Would you like to go on a date with me? If you want to give me a shot, you can join my email newsletter. But be warned. I will make a move and try to sell you something in the first few months.
Perhaps that scares you or turns you off. No problem. But if it makes your heart beat a little faster… then here’s where you can sign up.