Two days ago, John Carlton sent out an email about networking. (John is an A-list copywriter, most famous for his “Amazing Secret Discovered by One-Legged Golfer” ad.)
Anyways, John says there are at least three main networking styles you need to master.
The first style is being super polite and deferential.
The second is being hush-hush, like you’re sharing secrets you don’t want others to know.
The third is loud and boisterous, or, as the English say, taking the piss.
According to John, if you want to get good at networking, you’ll have to get good at each of these styles. And you’ll have to know how to move among them. Which brings up a warning:
If you see others bonding and networking using one of these styles, this doesn’t mean you want to go in with the same.
For example, back in the day, people kept coming up to John and Gary Halbert. John and Gary made a point of insulting each other. It was their locker-room style of networking and bonding. But when outsiders came in with the same, it was offensive and fell flat.
So here’s my added take. It’s based on what experience I’ve had establishing rapport with unfamiliar people.
And it can be summed up with a piece of meat-market advice from “pick up artist” Mystery (who has one leg, and then another). Mystery said:
“Treat a six like a ten, and a ten like a six. You won’t go wrong.”
In terms of networking, this means when I see somebody boisterous… I’m more likely to approach in a polite and deferential way.
When I see somebody polite and nice… I’m more likely to go in — not insulting them — but teasing them a bit.
And when somebody’s getting all hush-hush… well, then I figure it’s time to get all hush-hush too. But I also get on my guard. Because there’s a good chance the other person is just pumping me for information.
What good is this to you? I’m not sure. But if you ever again network outside of a Zoom meeting… then the three above styles — and Mystery’s advice — might be worth keeping in the back of your mind.
And for more pick up-inspired business advice, you might like to sign up to my email un-newsletter.