Stop asking your clients for referrals. At least until you’ve read through this article.
You’ve probably heard the Ben Franklin book-borrowing story:
Franklin had a political opponent he wanted to win over. But he didn’t want to butter the opponent up with flattery of tenderize him with gifts. Instead, Franklin used another tactic. He asked his opponent for a favor — the loan of a rare and curious book.
The opponent obliged. Ben Franklin returned the book a week later, with a note expressing his strong “sense of the favour.” After that, Franklin’s opponent opened up. The two eventually became great friends.
What does this have to do with referrals?
Well, as Franklin put it, “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another.” it’s a matter of consistency, that fundamental human need. If I do you a favor, I have to justify it to myself somehow, and that will affect how I act in the future.
But it goes in the other direction, too. And that’s the connection to referrals.
If you ask a client for a referral — and he doesn’t oblige, for whatever reason — then he has to justify that decision to himself. And like Franklin says, “He that has once done you an unkindness will be more ready to do you another.”
Of course, not every book you borrow will make you a new friend… and not every referral you fail to get will lose you an old client.
But I want to raise the possibility that asking for a referral in a haphazard way can have its drawbacks.
“Just go ahead and ask, it can’t hurt.” Maybe. Or maybe it can.
So does that mean you should get paralyzed with fear and avoid referral marketing?
No. But it might make sense to have a smart system that works.
Such as the systems you can find in the following video. I’ve linked to it before, but I’ll do it again. It’s a recording from a Jay Abraham seminar where various clients of Jay’s shared 93 referral getting-strategies that actually worked for them.
Some of these methods are simple and obvious. Some are involved and very clever. But they’re all worth knowing about if you want more referrals:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_13FI1zE94k